Sena's DW :: Watermelon Life

I've been on Temu again buying stuff for Christmas 2025, some Star Wars pins for Dad and THE most awesome guitar-shaped bag for Lee that I'm HOPING FINGERS CROSSED he'll be able to carry his music and stuff to and from jam sessions in. We'll see when it comes in. The pictures made it look a decent size but I am notoriously bad at judging these things from pics alone. (I have a new purse coming in that may or may not be big enough, too, it's a guessing game!)

I'm tracking Wren!doll and she's on the plane right now FINALLY even though I ordered her like six weeks ago. The shop that I ordered her from took like THREE WEEKS to ship and then when they did she sat around in customs for a good while, didn't pass customs clearance, then passed it the second go 'round and finally managed to get on the plane. I have no idea when she's going to arrive. All I know is that I ordered some plant hangers literally LAST WEEK and they just passed through Canada customs on their way to me this morning. Honestly, some stuff from AE is super slow and other stuff is super fast and there is my rhyme or reason to it.

That aside... last night I finally, FINALLY figured out how to record videos on my laptop so I can do that on Riptide instead of my phone. The problem with doing it on my phone is that then to have access to them I HAVE to upload them to YouTube and them download them from there, since Haven won't sync with Riptide and never has. -__-;; That was part of the reason I stopped keeping VLOGS. This way I can record straight to my computer, and there's no chance of anyone else seeing me ugly cry into the camera for 5-12 minutes straight, depending on the video. :|

.....

I'm working on painting a plant pot for the first time in forever and it's fun, but tedious because it's hundreds of tiny multi color polka dots. My brain can only focus on it for a few minutes at a time before it starts vibrating uncomfortably in my head so I'm doing it in little sections. The next section up is a strip of yellow polka dots and the next after that is green, which is where I started. Green, pink, orange, blue, purple and yellow. And then some rainbow stripes around the bottom. It's going to be really cute when it's done, so I'm looking forward to that. <3

I have a vague idea for another Destiel fic, the working title right now is "Principalities" but I'm sure it's going to change during the writing process. Basically it's a reversal fic where Dean is the civilian and Cas is the Hunter. Dean lives with his girlfriend (either Lisa or Carmen, I can't decide) and either works construction (if he's with Lisa) or at a garage (if he's with Carmen) and is just basically your regular guy while still being Dean. Cas is a fallen angel turned Hunter on Earth, and they meet during one of his Hunts. Cas has pretty much always been alone, since he fell, but there's a kind of instant bond that forges between him and Dean, and both of them feel it but neither of them know what to do about it so they staunchly ignore it. Meanwhile Dean is fascinated by the whole Hunting thing and keeps sneaking out at night to meet up with Cas to learn more and eventually participate in Hunts. Eventually he's meeting up with Cas for other things, too, if you get my meaning there. (Also John and Mary are still alive, and Sam is an attorney in California and he and Dean barely speak.)

Yeah, it's probably been done, but I'd like to do my take on it? Also I have more figured out for Principalities than I do for Cessation, which is basically like... accidental dimensional transport?? Zombies?? Rick Grimes?? Variants?? Gabriel (the angel) saves them?? So many question marks, even though I know it's going to be fun to write. But yeah, there's that.

I have gotten a bit written for Echoes the last couple of days, too, so, you know, little victories.

Other than some ideas for stuff my brain has been mostly static lately, though, I really need an increased dosage of my ADHD meds. It's funny how I didn't even really realize how bad I was, I always just put it down to "writer's block" or "artist's block" or "reader's block" until I started on the Vyvanse and suddenly my brain was mostly clear for possibly the first time in my life. Now it's sinking back into that hole and I am SUPER aware of it, like trying to write is like pulling teeth right now. The 30th can't come fast enough. So impatient for my Doctor's appointment, you have no idea.

Speaking of my ADHD meds, though, they never did give me my reading back, which is probably a good sign that the dosage wasn't adequate. Even after I started on the Vyvanse and could suddenly WRITE AGAIN and WORK ON ARTS AND CRAFTS AGAIN, I still couldn't focus on reading. I need to talk to Dr. K about that when I go in at the end of the month.

But READING, though; not being able to read hasn't stopped me from buying more BOOKS because I keep finding ones that I WANT to read. I just bought the whole Beechwood Harbor Ghost Mysteries series earlier this month, and Amazon isn't helping, today they recommended me the "A Court of Thorns and Roses" box set by Sarah J. Maas that sound SO GOOD. But it's a 5-book set and in hardcover it's going to cost me like $140 and hardcover is my preferred medium, so. GAH. I wrote them all down on a post-it note for Mom just in case she wants to look them up for her kindle because they sounded right up her alley too.

EDIT: MOM HAS ALREADY READ THEM. :|

I watched all of Daybreak in a couple of days and I'm kind of sad there isn't more of it because I was rather enjoying the characters and storyline in that series. But sadly, just the one season. Then yesterday I watched ALL of Before, based on Mom's recommendation and the fact that the episodes were only 20 minutes long. It was REALLY good and I would WELCOME another season, but I know it was a limited series and they ended it in a way that was pretty final, and also tied up all the loose ends, you know? Anyway, yeah, it was excellent. Kind of like a cross between Brilliant Minds and The Ghost Whisperer. 10/10 do recommend.

Now I'm watching Glitch, which comes out of Australia so I have high hopes for it. :D

P.S. Today is Mom’s Birthday! HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MOM!! <33

In a move that I should have FUCKING predicted with how many times it's happened to me in the past with various aquariums, the external filter on the axolotl aquarium overflowed last night and I woke up to half my room in soggy carpet. Again. *FACEPALM* The first time since the co-op installed the new carpet, though, so I'm not happy for various reasons (and Mom won't be happy, either.)

So, I unplugged it for the time being and I'm going to pull it off the tank and take it apart, clean it out and get it running properly again, hopefully later today because I really need the surface skimmer to be operational. -__-; I also need to refill the tank to the top with water because it's down about an in-and-a-half of water, which is a TON in a 45-gallon aquarium. Just. All over my floor.

Other than that, I finished my brother's Wiggly Foxes last night and let them sit overnight to set, then sealed them this morning and once they were dry, and wrapped them all up and now they're under the tree. I included a card that explained that, despite their attached keyrings, Wiggly Foxes don't actually make great KEYCHAINS, they prefer to be used as decorations or ornaments eg: hanging from a car rear view mirror. Just so he and the girls know. (I hope they like them. <3)

Today my Beachwood Harbor Mysteries books are coming in via Amazon, and I also ordered a NEW MOTHER FUCKING SHOWER HEAD to put under the tree as a gift to "the house" because the shower head we CURRENTLY HAVE is SHIT and I have been campaigning for a new one for years but Mom and Lee seem content in the fucking rut. SO I'M TAKING THINGS INTO MY OWN HANDS. I WILL EVEN FUCKING INSTALL THE THING IF I HAVE TO. MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ME.

Anyway, that's coming in today too, so I need to get it into a bag and under the tree once it arrives.

Other than the filter than needs cleaned, today I also have to write my January postcards because we're going to Shoppers/the post office tomorrow. Normally I would have until the end of the month but everything happens around the 19th/20th in December instead. The 20th is my monthly shop for January, for example, so Friday wee get to do that. Fun times this time of year. /sarcasm

Then I also need to bake like a MILLION COOKIES today and tomorrow, because Friday is out.

I'm just... so busy. So busy. It's a busy time of year.

EDIT: Also I have two things that need to be wrapped before Saturday when Mom, Lee, my brother and I have our family Christmas. One is my brother's coasters set, and the other is the shower head which just arrived THANK GOD I WILL BE INSTALLING IT ASAP after someone opens it. :|

Even though I couldn't sleep all last night I at least got a lot of Wiggly Fox work done, both on the ones for my brother and on another one I'm tinkering with, so there's that. I'm hoping to finish my brother's set tomorrow or the next day at the latest. And around 10am I managed to get to sleep for around 3 hours, which isn't a lot but was at least SOMETHING.

Today my brother was over to do his laundry and for Mom to take him grocery shopping, and he stayed for longer than usual, stayed for dinner (pizza) and even hung out in my room for like an hour. We had a really good talk, though when he first knocked on the door I had to real quick hide his Wiggly Foxes.

.....

I'm tired of drinking coffee already. I have to drink 3+ cups a day because of the NAFLD and I'm like... ugh. I hate it. I have to add SO much sugar to make it palatable, and I'm supposed to be AVOIDING sugar, right? Though right now I'm drinking it with eggnog in it because that actually makes it kind of good. I need to stock up on eggnog and freeze it for over the year, so I can have like one carton a month until next December. Or something.

My ODSP check comes in on the 20th this month, as usual, so Friday Mom and I are going out to do my monthly groceries early. I think this time I'm not going to buy my milk alternative at Costco and buy a bunch of different ones from Walmart instead to see which one I like best, you know? Test the waters.

I've been printing out song lyrics for songs I want to use in Marionette off-and-on and in the last few days I've picked out four more: "Break Away" by the Anna And The Apocalypse cast, "I Will Believe" by the Anna And The Apocalypse cast, "Be Not So Fearful" by A.C. Newman and "The Pale Light In The West" by Ben Nichols. They are added to songs like "Incomplete" by the Backstreet Boys, "Rainbow" by Sia and "Lifeline" by We Three. I need some more harder songs, but the ones I really like are from lesser known movies and are hard to find the lyrics for. Not all of these will be used, of course, just... songs that I like for Auralee's struggle.

I've had a sore throat the last few days and I'm not sure why. Whatever it is isn't progressing any farther, though, so I'm just living with it for now. Maybe I'll see if I can hunt down some Halls tomorrow, if it's still hurting...

Mom's birthday candles came in today and Lee gave me the money for them and then proceeded to "give them" to her today by opening them up and playing with them in full view of Mom for like fifteen minutes before finally PUTTING THEM ALL BACK IN THE BOX AND HANDING THEM OVER. like JFC, Lee.

Now I'm just watching some more TWD before I go to bed and (hopefully) actually sleep tonight.

P.S. I got zero writing done today. ZERO.

Right. Well. After I reached 50k on TKA I was SUPPOSED to take like a one or two day break and then get back at it, but it is day ELEVEN now and I JUST started writing TKA again now. *FACEPALM* After the first couple of days of my brain being MUSH I DID get back to writing, just... not TKA. I worked on SPN fanfic stuff instead, which, like, PRIORITIES?? BUT today's TKA session went well, it was about 2.5k long (ish) and I think I might finally be back at it! I just really want to get TKA finished so I can move on to the editing part.

I've been working on Temper Tantrums in the post-SS one-shots, and also Hunting Souls, and also Wayward Daughters, which is a new one that I just added to the roster. It's up to 30 freaking fics now and I'm hoping to keep it there because that is out of control. :|

I've been working on Wiggly Foxes a lot lately, especially the family of them that I'm making for my brother for Christmas. They're blue with pink tails and white accents. I'm also making a set of bracelets for him for Christmas but I need the bails and charms and I ordered them today, and the bails will be here tomorrow, but the charms won't be here until December 9->19 so that SUCKS. I can make the bracelets and then attach the charms after, but I'm super worried about the postal strike right now so??? The stupid thing is I KNOW I have some suitable charms around here, I just can't FREAKING FIND THEM. >:[

Today I have to make banana bread because I've been saying I'm going to make it for like a week now. Also bread pudding. But first I'm taking a nap because I woke up at 4am this morning and couldn't get back to sleep because NATURALLY. *eyeroll*

I'm hoping to FedEX Sethi's parcel to her and her family FINALLY this weekend. And also send Cassandra-san her little package, too. Turns out FedEX is actually pretty affordable if you don't mind it taking three whole days to get there. To the States, anyway, I'm not sure about the Philippines, I still have to get an estimate for that one.

Anyway, yeah. Not much to talk about today. More to talk about tomorrow when my Amazon parcel comes in. Cya.

I didn't get all the things accomplished today that I'd wanted to. I woke up just feeling... despondent, I guess, and couldn't shake it for most of the day. Every time I try to reach out to Poe and they ignore me makes me feel this way. I should probably just stop trying. But it's hard to let go of a friendship, especially one that brought you such great joy like ours did (for the most part.) I just need to learn to let go, I guess.

I was supposed to make bread pudding and banana bread today but neither of them got done. I decided at the last minute that I want to try making the banana bread with whole wheat flour instead of white, so I'm putting it off until after groceries when I can get Lee to buy some whole wheat flour for me. I have no excuse for the bread pudding except that I just wasn't up to it today.

This morning before my mood got really bad I did manage to finish my Christmas Wiggly Fox (Holly), which I made for Mom to put on the Christmas tree. But when I took it downstairs to show her, she didn't even look at it, she just dropped it on the desk and walked away. So that didn't help how I was feeling, either. Two weeks of detailed painting for literally no reaction. Like, fuck me.

This evening I managed to get up enough gumption to work on some writing, and I've written a couple more pages of Teeth, so I'm hoping to get it finished in the next few days. Then it's back to TKA for a bit. I'm at just over 50,000 words for TKA for now, but I took a break and when I go back to it I'm going to shoot for another 15,000 words before I take another break. Hoping to get it finished soon-ish, too. Then it's on to Freefall or My Zombie and the 20 other post-SS one-shots I still have to write.

Tomorrow I have to clean the axolotl tank again. It gets gunky really quickly, especially with three 'lotls in there now. This time I need to use a cloth or something to wipe down the side and back walls, and I also need to take the sponges off the filters and clean them, too, as well as the usual suctioning. It's going to take an hour, probably, and destroy my back, but I mean, bein' a good 'lotl Mom.

I'm having to get some money from Mom, and this time not a loan, I can't afford to repay it. But my finances are screwed and I need help, so she's bailing me out again. It makes me feel like shit. I hate myself for it, but I don't have a choice. Maybe if I can sell TKA I can manage to pay her back eventually. I've got that in the back of my mind, anyway, just a flicker of hope.

This morning I racked up over 5,000 words for TKA, so now I've clocked 45 pages and 21,082 words in just 8 days which is amaaaaaazing for me and the NaNo. I might manage to go over the 50,000 words before the end of the month, which is GREAT because I'm aiming for 80,000-ish words for TKA in the end.

I'm jumping around scenes and sections of the story the same way I wrote Horror High and Storm Season and that seems to be working really well for me. It somewhat gives me mental whiplash at times, though, jumping from scene-to-scene, especially when it's like a really serious or depressing scene and then jumping to a really fluffy or happy scene. I just did that recently and it was like... whoa. But at the same time, going to writing depressing shit to lighthearted stuff can be really good for me, mentally, too, it's like a lil vacation for my mind.

I am starting to get a little worried that there's too much dialogue and not enough descriptive text so far, but I have a long way to go, so hopefully I can turn that around. Plus there's always the editing phase, which is a whole 'nother ballywhack. :|

In regards to post-Storm Season stuff, I started working on Echoes a bit yesterday (Destiel porn so far lmao), and I think I want to work on Kindling some, but for some reason I am AVOIDING Teeth even though it's the next one I should be working on. Technically I already skipped it to write Nightingale. Anyway, I also changed the title of "Stalagmites" to "Serendipity", which I like better and I think suits the fic better as well. *shrug*

Today Mom took me out to Walmart and I got a gift card for Lois for Christmas, so tomorrow I'm going to wrap everything for Dad and Lois up and bake a batch of shortbread cookies for them so I can deliver their Christmas stuff on Sunday when we go down to take my stuff for storage. I need to go through the boxes in the basement for some big enough for a couple of the things, and dig out the Christmas wrap that's under my bed since the rest of it is all in the garage still, we haven't brought it in yet. But yeah, that's the plan.

Kaida is getting huge. He's maybe half the size of an adult axolotl? Maybe? Give or take, anyway. It's getting harder for him to find places to hide in the tank and he doesn't seem to feel the NEED to hide as much, but he still manages it from time to time. Mostly he just hangs out in the food drop zone, which is hilarious to me. He's not stupid!

Mom and I are going to Elmvale on Tuesday to pick up two other 'lotls from the woman I got Kaida from originally. I'm going to name one "Haku" but I haven't decided on the other, I kind of want to go with "Tatsuya" to keep the Japanese Dragon Naming Theme, but I also like the name "Falcor", so?? Yeah, I'll PROBABLY go with Tatsuya ("Tatsu" for short), but I'll decide for sure once they've been in the tank for a couple of days and I get to know them a little better.

The woman I'm getting them from says they're not so much like "underwater bunnies" as some people say, though, so if one of them turns out to be the opposite gender I don't have to panic. Apparently her boyfriend has had a mixed tank for YEARS and only had eggs like twice. And if you just scoop them out and discard them, it's no big deal. So I mean... there's that.

I've been working on tons of wiggly foxes right now, the batch that I was working on originally that's almost done as well as a set of four for Trunks for Christmas, a black-and-orange one, a Christmas one and a belated Halloween one with a candy corn tail. Plus the Rainbow Dash and starry void ones that Poe suggested that I'm avoiding because reasons.

I need to take my finished wigglies out to Mom's car to take pics of them hanging from the rear view mirror for my Etsy listings. Apparently any listings that have less than two pics they don't show in searches anymore, so it's like... I need more photos, and I don't really have any other ideas besides the rear view mirror one. Maybe some on the Christmas tree once we put it up? idek. I'm not good at this whole Etsy thing.

Yesterday my monstera clipping came in the mail. I paid the extra dollar and got a rooted clipping, and the seller sent me an extra clipping as well, so that was nice. I need to leave a good review for them ASAP. Anyway, I planted them and assuming they take properly, one (new!Castiel) is eventually going into the aquarium while I think I'll see if Mom wants the other one. She might like it, it's like a swiss cheese monstera or whatever so it's neat. Otherwise I'll keep both of them.

.....

I tried emailing Poe again the other day and they still won't email me back. I don't know why they have to be this way, but the more this goes on the more I think I actually AM better off without them, after all. And thinking that hurts like hell because they were somehow the best friend I've ever had despite the neglect and abuse. So, what does that say about me and my friendships, really? It's a sad state of affairs.

I haven't written anything in two days because Monday was Aquarium Day and then yesterday was Recovering From Aquarium Day Day, and I should be working on writing right now but I just... blegh. My brain feels heavy in my head and like it's full of cotton batting or something. I think it's just my ADHD kicking in really bad, because I've felt this way before, but it still sucks. I have stuff to DO, gdi.

I'm 18 pages and 8,068 words into Ghost In The Machine and I think it's going to be a longer one-shot because I haven't even gotten to any of the Investigating or Hunting parts yet, it's all just background and character interactions (and smut because what HH et al fic would be complete without that?) So It might be more like 40 or 45ish pages instead of the 35 or 35ish that the others have been so far. *shrug* I guess we'll see.

If I can't focus on writing today, I might try to do some painting. I have several painting projects on the go right now that I should be working on. I'm almost done my next batch of Wiggly Foxes, not that it matters because no one's buying them anyway. And I have a plastic goat skull that I'm repainting in the pansexual pride flag colors to hang on my wall. And a pan pride cabbage dog... though that one might have to be a nonbinary cabbage dog, since the one I originally made for Poe was in that parcel that is possibly lost now.

Anyway, after I'm done with the four Wiggly Foxes that I'm working on now I need to finish my Rainbow Dash one and my Starry Void one, and I'm also going to pull out three more to start, too, since I have five pegs to hang them on so I might as well. Not 100% sure what I'm going to do with the new ones, but I'm taking a kind of fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants approach to the Wiggly Foxes; no two are the same and I'm just making them up as I go. I might see if I have any that I can paint up like pokemon, though.

I need to take more photos for my Wiggly Fox ads because apparently listings with less than 2 pics don't show up in search results anymore, SO. I think I'm going to take them out to Mom's car and take pics of them hanging from the rear view mirror, because I think they would be happy as mirror danglers. Happier there than as actual keychains, anyway. Their little legs are kind of delicate for use as actual keychains. :P So I have to dig out the five I already have listed and take them out to take photos in the car, then add them to the listing. Then I can just do that right off the bat with the new ones as I finish them.

I wish I had that lantern hook that I held onto for so long, it would have been PERFECT for taking Wiggly Fox pics...

Last night I printed out like six pages of photos (4 photos per page) of the pics I took at the aquarium, just the really good ones that I particularly love. I got three pages in and ran out of blue in which, not a HUGE surprise since I was printing WATER pics, but still. Boo. Luckily I had a spare color cartridge in my Misc Bin, so I popped that in and was good to go, except now I have to order more color ink again. I'm going through ink hand over fist lately, it seems...

This morning when my alarm went off and I got up, Kaida was out and so I dropped her breakfast into the tank straight away and actually got to see her SNAP! at the little pellets as they floated down, it was really neat. I'm looking forward to when she's even bigger and I can see her more than I can now; she's still so small that she hides away in the nooks and crannies most of the time and it's like WHERE'S KAIDA?? WHERE'S KAIDA?? but with no THERE SHE IS!! in the end.

Today I have to vacuum her tank out (I do it ever second day), it's getting a little grungy, but mostly it's leftover food that's got to be scooped up because I am definitely over-feeding her. Still figuring out exactly the right number of pellets to give her each day, and it's constantly changing because she's growing so fast, but I'll get it down. At least the bloodworms at easy. I do need to get to the Dollarama to buy a pair of cheap scissors so I can start giving her proper wormy bits too, though, now that my huge tweezers have arrived in the mail... I've been into the Dollarama SO MANY TIMES since they arrived and I keep forgetting scissors like. *FACEPALM* But I don't want to use my good scissors for cutting up worms, so. Yeah.

If I can convince Mom to drive me to Elmvale in the beginning of November again to pick up one of Kaida's siblings, I think I'm going to name them "Haku", after the river spirit dragon from Spirited Away. My plush axolotl from the aquarium is called "Draco" haha. But this is all a pretty BIG "if" because Mom's already told me once she's not driving me back there, so it'll definitely take some smooth talking.

Yesterday I took Cas out of the aquarium. He just wasn't doing well there, he was very slowly dying off, his leaves were all rotting, so I pulled him, and bought some potting soil and a pot for him and yesterday afternoon I potted him in soil again. Hopefully he'll make it. Also I renamed him "Gabriel" so I can name whatever new plant I get for the tank "Castiel" to go with Dean (who is still THRIVING in the aquarium jfc Dean be a little happier why don't you.) I'm thinking about ordering a monstera off of etsy and giving that a shot. I've never tried a monstera before.

So, Poe emailed me to be like "I haven't been checking my emails. What address did you ship to? I live in _____ now." And I was like *KEYSMASH*, right, but I emailed them back and asked if their FAMILY still lived there and could forward the parcel to them and if I could please get their new address for shipping their werewolf when it finally arrives, and it's now been three days and... so fucking reply. They infuriate me sometimes with their inability to communicate like... just fucking email me back please I need to know what's going on with this parcel, if they can get it from their family or if it's totally lost and I just wasted $125 and all the stuff that was in it?? Like just. Please get back to me.

Next month I have to start buying stuff for people for Christmas and I have no idea what everyone is getting, really. I have Dad finished, but he's always the easy one. I know what I'm getting for Trunks (dragon coaster and a bag of treats), and what I'm getting for Mom (Dune movies and a new tablecloth), and I THINK what I'm getting for Lee (chocolates and a gift certificate to the music store.) I think Lois is just getting a Walmart gift card this year. And Cobin will get cookies and cash, same as every year. Oh, and I already have books for Grandma, But everyone else... idk. Maybe I'll do weird socks again, I just have to order them like ASAP in the beginning of November which means I have to go on AliExpress and pick them out NOW. =/

I hate shopping for Christmas on such a shoestring budget. It takes the fun out of it. At least I can mail Poe's card/coins/book in January for Birthmas. Assuming I have their new address by then. Like. I understand that their Dad isn't doing really well right now, but that's no reason to stop answering emails/messages entirely. Except that's what Poe does when bad things happen, they just... block out the whole world. Which I can understand, to an extent, but you can't just pretend that nothing else exists FOREVER, you have to check your fucking email at some point... 's frustrating, that's all. =/

Anyway. Still hoping to sell Ishana and nab another $100 from that, but at this point it's been long enough since I posted the ad that I'm starting to doubt it'll happen. At least I managed to sell Flora and Fauna (or whatever their names are now; I'm sure their new owner has changed them) and I would LOVE to sell Sofi but she's cobbled together from different doll parts and has all the discoloration on her from when she was wearing that horrible sweater, so. I can't really do much with her, despite wanting to.

Oh, and my peridot and amethyst chip beads came in yesterday, so now I'm just waiting on citrine, moonstone, tiger eye, fluorite and smoky quarts! Getting there!

Today is Thursday, which means I posted the last post-Horror High one-shot, Falling Stars, to AO3 and Tumblr (I'll get around to Vanimadin later today.) It's kind of... bittersweet, posting the last of the post-HH one-shots. I know I have a whole other cycle to go through in the series with Storm Season and IT'S one-shots but it still feels like the end of something. I dunno. It's weird.

Everything I Do didn't do very well AT ALL (235 hits, 26 kudos and 1 bookmark; no comments) which was disappointing because that was my personal favorite of the bunch, but there's nothing I can do about it. I thought people would like the fact that there was a top!Cas/bottom!Dean scene in it, but maybe the tags were confusing, because I had to include all the tags for that position as well as the usual one. They were pretty muddled.

I guess I just keep holding out hope that the series will somehow catch on, even though it's pretty clear by now that it's not going to, just because I love it so much. Still, I do get the occasional comment, and every time I'm nervous to click on them in case they're someone telling me my writing is bullshit, you know? But so far all but one have been really positive. I literally JUST got one for Falling Stars (like 5 minutes after I posted it, this person is a SPEED READER) where the person said they loved the series, so that's a good way to start out with a new fic, right? Right.

I'm done the first-draft editing of Storm Season up to Chapter 5 so far, so I just have 6-->10 to go, and then I'll circle back around and go through them all over again just in case. I have a little timeline that I'm scribbling out on a post-it note as I edit because I'm fairly sure I screwed up my timing with a couple of things along the way. They're easy fixes, I just need to know the time between specific events that I laid out originally. I think I kept just referring to past time as "two weeks" or "a couple of weeks" when actually like a month had passed, and that's the kind of thing people call you out on lol. I've learned that from experience.

Then it's on to finishing up and editing When Lightning Strikes, and then the others, but only until November 1st at which point fanfic is getting put to the side in lieu of writing TKA.

I'm so nervous about this whole TKA thing, though, like I really, REALLY want to do well at it, but with my past track record with the NaNo I'm super afraid the same thing is going to happen here, again, and nothing will really get done. I keep trying to put these thoughts out of my head and focus on the fact that I have like three years of planning and an entire huge long, detailed outline to go by this time, but they sneak into my brain anyway. I wish they'd go away. I wish I had more confidence with myself.

.....

Like two years ago I downloaded the first season of a series called From because I heard about it and it sounded right up my alley, and then when I watched it it was SO UNBELIEVABLY GOOD OMG so I looked up to see if there were other seasons, and there was one other, so I tried to find IT to download, too, only... nada. Zip. Zilch. Couldn't find it anywhere. So, I've been lowkey looking for it off-and-on ever since and two days ago I searched for it again and I FOUND IT, so I downloaded it like ASAP before the universe noticed and took it away again.

And again, it was SO FREAKING GOOD. I LOVE FROM SO MUCH (but like, the title? Please that is the hardest thing in the world to search for. You get everything. EVERYTHING.) And apparently there is a third season out now, which I am excited for, but like... I have no idea when I'll be able to find it. Could be another two years. idek. Hopefully not but we'll see because it's SUCH a good series. <3

Last night I emptied out one of the bins on my shelves and packed up some stuff for storage to make room for my binders full of writing. They all fit except for the Biology (et al) binder, which is in Jessie's room now, and my new TKA binder, which is just kind of sitting next to my computer table, but like... this is a SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT because I used to have SIX huge binders between my computer table and my work table, so I cleared out a lot of floor space with that, and they're much more organized now. I do wish Biology and TKA would fit, too, but there's not much I can do about it at this point. =/

I'm 90% of the way through my next batch of Wiggly Foxes. I just have to touch up the white on their bellies, paint the white in their ears, and paint the black on their noses and eyes (with a sewing needle, SUCH a pain) and then I can take pics (UGH) and list them on Etsy. Then I'm going to start working on finishing up my Rainbow Dash fox and my Starry Void fox, the ones that Poe suggested, even though it's depressing to work on them, still. And after that I'll dig out four or five more Foxes and start over again.

I think later today I'm going to try to make a point of sitting down and posting all my buttons to Etsy as well, finally. The Pontypool and Evil Dead Rise and misc. ones. Then I can start working on designing more. I have Ghostbusters, Abigail and Late Night With The Devil quotes that I want to use, and eventually I want to do some JAWS, Jurassic Park and Alien quotes as well. I have to figure out a way to pick quotes that would appeal to the masses and not just ones that are niche to me.

I also need to re-take the pics of some of the jewelry I've already got listed and swap them out now that I have a better background. Just. I have so much Etsy stuff to do but I always procrastinate on it. I would SO MUCH rather just take my wares to a market or con and sell them all there. Etsy is tedious and, at least for me, a pretty much constant let down.

Anyway. Now I'm going to go do some editing for a while before I have a nap. Tonight is my turn to cook supper, but I'm just making Hamburger Helper because *SHRUG* And then tomorrow I HAVE to make an apple pie for my brother, it's already a week late. I would do it today but there's no room in our fridge and I want it to be as fresh as possible for when he comes over on Saturday. :P

A future Pansexual Pride Cabbage Dog!

I started working on Storm Season last night because I decided there's no point in writing one of the follow-up one-shots first (even if I want to), since I would probably have to go back and re-write most of it after I finished Storm Season anyway. So, Like Feathers Softly is on hold for the time being.

Anyway, I'm about 12 pages into Storm Season now? I had already taktaktak-ed out a couple pages of it earlier, but then I got distracted with the post-Horror High one-shots and it went by the wayside for a while.

The very beginning of Storm Season parallels the first episode of S4 of SPN in a lot of ways, and I was writing it from memory and decided I should download that episode and watch it again to get everything straight... but I couldn't find just S4Ep1 to download, so I ended up having to download the entirety of S4 again. I was honestly surprised that the download went through and didn't stop halfway because my hard drive ran out of space. I need to go through and delete some movies or something again. :|

But I don't know if Storm Season is going to be as long as Horror High ended up being (10 chapters, 167 pages), it might be more like 5 chapters instead. Then again, once I really get writing who knows what could happen? Horror High was SUPPOSED to be like a 10-->15 page one-shot, SO I MEAN?? Just from where I'm standing now, though, Storm Season could almost just be a long one-shot, but I don't want it to be just another one-off like the rest of them, since it's plot has so much more meaning. I'm working on it. I think I just need to pace myself better, I've just gotten into the beat of writing one-shots again (albeit long ones) and now I need to get back into the flow of writing a longer fics, you know?

As for my other writing... I'm still working on my notes for Sins Of Angels and Scarlet Letters (formerly Red Letters), and I need to poke Poe about some things in regards to Willoughby and Eden for Ghosts Of Nameless Stars. I still have TKA open in Word but it's just staring at me because I've been so focused on fan projects lately. I really need to get back into original stuff again, honestly, but I feel like I'm not going to be able to until I finish the Horror High (et al) cycle. My brain just won't let it go.

I used to have like 20 tabs open in Word and bounce around between all of them but get very little done in any particular one, so to curb that I closed most of them, but I left the above mentioned ones open, as well as two SPN Witcher AU ones, Rewarding Heroism, which is NSFW Lambden and the next one in the series after Don't You Forget About Me, and also Wayward Sons, which is an ACTUAL CROSSOVER with SPN and has Sam, Dean and Cas cameo in it. Wayward Sons is going to be longer than the other SPN Witcher AU fics, probably by a lot, and so far writing it has been a good time. Jaskier's interactions with Cas and Geralt's interactions with Dean are fun. Sam is his sarcastic self. Geraskier, obviously. No ACTUAL Destiel but definite unsubtle hints at it.

I kind of want to write another actual crossover that has Garth cameo because I fucking LOVE Garth but I haven't thought of a good story idea for that, yet. I'm thinking on it.

Other than that...

I was powering my way through a total SPN rewatch, and I got through EIGHT SEASONS in record time (about 4-->5 episodes a day, ish) but then I got to S9 and three episodes in my brain just went "SOMETHING ELSE PLEASE" so for the last week or so I've been watching other things, crime documentaries, movies, etc. and listening to the Canadian True Crime podcast, to give my brain a break from the constant SPN barrage... she says while simultaneously writing like 120 pages of Destiel fic in the last weeks as well. Haha.

Last night I finished my Nonbinary Cabbage Dog and sealed it with MSC so it's official, it's done! It only took me eight months and a ton of misery. But things are getting better now, and I'm sending a small parcel to Poe at the end of the week with some Loops earplugs and one or two other things in it, and I wanted to include the Nonbinary Cabbage Dog, since I customized it for them to begin with. I think it turned out really cute, and I really hope they like it. But I'm going to tell them if they don't want it to go ahead and sell it on their Etsy, I really don't mind.

I also worked on my Rainbow Dash wiggly fox a bit last night. I have no idea how I'm going to paint the Cutie Mark on such a tiny thing my with shaky hands. Maybe I'll just leave it off and it can be Rainbow Dash Adjacent instead. I also got a good start on my Starry Void wiggly fox, though I fucked up one of the ears a little because my hand shook at the last minute so I need to touch that up with acetone. Basically now all I need to do for him is touch-ups and to paint on all his stars. He's going to look really good. I can't list them on my Etsy until I have the boxes to ship them, though...

Right now I have wiggly fox boxes in my uline shopping cart and kraft padded envelopes in my ebay shopping cart (as well as a book; The Trees Grew Because I Bled Here, Poe recommended it to me) and a bunch of stuff in my Amazon cart (including PRINTING PAPER I AM GOING THROUGH SO MUCH OF IT LATELY OMG) but I can't actually BUY any of it until Friday. So I'm just... biding my time. Waiting to pounce.

Yesterday I was in IMMENSE pain in my back, knees and hands from working on the basement all day Sunday, but I feel (mostly) better today so I'm going to try to get the 40 gallon aquarium cleaned out the rest of the way so I can immediately break my back filling it back up with water. I need to get it cycling so I can put plants into it, hopefully on Friday if Petsmart still has them in. Fingers crossed on that one.

On Friday I also have to try to get some terracotta pots from the dollar store for the tank, assuming they still have them in. I don't THINK they'll have packed them up yet by then but the fall stuff is already sneaking into stores (not a complaint!) so I'm going "I just need two terracotta pots, please still be there!!" lol.

I started reading Wilder Girls yesterday after I finished the episode of the podcast I was listening to, and even only a chapter-and-a-half in, it's REALLY good. I can tell I'm going to really enjoy this book, it's going to become one of my favorites. It's very unique and different, but the writing is so nice and flows so smoothly... I dunno, I just really like it. I couldn't read for too long, though, since I'm still getting used to reading with my new glasses and my eyes started to hurt pretty quickly. Boo.

Finally, yesterday I did all the addressing on my postcards for Friday so now I just need to write the messages tonight and tomorrow. I also wrote an entire card for Poe to include in her parcel and my hand was almost crippled. TENDONITIS IS A REAL THING, MAN.

I woke up today on my own sooooooo warm and perfectly comfortable and I just wanted to stay like that forever, but then my alarm went off like two minutes later and I just went "booooooooo." At least my alarm picked "Daylight" by Taylor Swift today, that's always nice to wake up to.

I'm probably going to be doing a lot of writing and/or watching movies today because I promised Mom that I would spend the day in the basement getting it cleaned up after the cats were DISGUSTINGLY sick all over it the last few weeks. There was no point in cleaning before this because it would just get gross again overnight, but now that everyone seems better again I can (probably) safely do it and not have all my work trashed two hours later.

It's just frustrating because I JUST cleaned all the basement floors and the furniture for Unit Inspection recently and I'm like... GDI cats, why you gotta?? (I know they don't do it on purpose, one of US probably tracked the flu-bug in on our shoes or something.)

So today is the floors (again), the furniture (again) and the basement blankets (again), and I figure while I'm at it I might as well do MY laundry and bedding, which is like four more loads because I have SO MUCH BEDDING lol I sleep in a nest. :D

Last time it took about... 5 hours? Probably about the same this time, maybe more with the bedding, but a lot of that is soaking the gross spots on the floor and just waiting around for them to soften up so I'll take Riptide down with me and watch movies/work on writing while I'm doing that, since the TV down there doesn't work anymore. (If it did I would be watching the crime network instead. Alas.)

Uhhh... currently 24 pages into Everything I Do and I'll probably get it finished and (possibly) edited today. It's shaping up to be around the same length as Counting Scars, so a little shorter than the other three, but that's FINE, it's still a respectable length. It's also got a lot of feels-y stuff in it that isn't in the others, stuff dealing with Dean's relationship with his dad and his feelings about his hometown and that kind of thing. Also that one cute scene I wanted to include in Cerulean Blue and ended up not being able to is in it, so there's that.

I need to go back and adjust the timeline for some of these fics because the first one (Cheap Motel) takes place seven months after Horror High, but then the next one (Counting Scars) takes place I think over two years later? And the rest are all crunched up together over the next two years. I need to more evenly space them out. It'll just take some little edits, though, so I'm not too worried about it. (Except then I'll have to print them all again and it's SO MUCH INK AND PAPER.)

Nonbinary Cabbage Dog is aaaaaaalmost finished now, I just have to touch up some spots on his ruff and fix his eyes because my hands were shaking when I was trying to paint them last night and one ended up wonky. Also I still need to paint his nose. :P

Poe was like "paint a void fox which is starry" and I was like OKAY so that's my next project after Rainbow Dash fox is complete.

Poe is... really good for me, and my creativity. And I love having them back, but I worry every day that I'm causing emotional harm to them in some manner like I did before. I want to ask them about it, but I'm genuinely afraid to, especially with how things have been going for them lately. So I'm just keeping my trap shut.

Anyway.

I made that candle yesterday evening but didn't do more than the one after all, and today I'm going to be super busy so I won't have time. But the one I did make turned out well, and it smells nice, it's sitting on my work table right now waiting to go back into the storage bin in Jessie's room once she's up for the day. Maybe I'll pull the stuff to make a couple more and see if I can eek out some time this afternoon in-between wash and dry cycles or something...

EDIT: I just realized Jessie is already up for the day and will be put to “bed” in like an hour and a half and my times are just completely screwed up in my head so I’m going to go get all the candle stuff like. Now.

Okay, so my jaw. Is FUCKED. It's not like... broken cleanly, if you know what I mean? In all the wrenching and twisting and yanking the Dentist did to pull the tooth out (almost) a month ago, she basically SPLINTERED IT, so there are shards sticking out everywhere, including outside of my gums. They had to shave some off when I was in last week to have ANOTHER tooth pulled, which I'm sure just exacerbated the problem. tldr; it feels like my head is going to explode and I can't chew ANYTHING right now.

...which I mean. Even if my jaw WASN'T jacked all to shit, I now have ZERO molars on my upper jaw, so I'm reduced to chewing with like one premolar on my top right side. I have about half an inch of chewing surface to work with now. I really need to get back to the Denturist and get them to send ANOTHER assessment to ODSP (the last one was denied because I wasn't missing enough TEETH) but I can't do that until I get the last of my cavities filled next month. Which brings me back around to my jaw because if it's not healed enough by my next APPOINTMENT I'll have to CANCEL IT and the whole Denturist thing will get put off even MORE.

FUCK, MAN.

Anyway. When I was in to see Dr. K last she suggested that my constant hunger in recent months could be because I'm not getting enough protein in my diet, which, okay, valid. I know I don't get enough protein. So now I'm drinking a protein shake every day around noon-ish and it seems to be helping. I'm not as hungry and I'm not CONSTANTLY snacking (also a broken jaw is helping curb this as well! :D;;) and so far I've lost just under ten pounds, which is great.

The problem is the protein powder is like $68 a month and I'm going to struggle to afford it. But a couple days ago Mom and I were at Costco and they had protein powder that was comparable to what I'm currently using on sale, and I managed to get 4 months supply for just over the cost of 1 month's worth at Walmart. I would have bought even MORE because THAT IS A GOOD SALE?? but I'm officially out of money for the month. But even at regular prices, the Costco stuff is about half as expensive, so I'll be buying it from there from now on, definitely.

Mom also suggested picking up some protein BARS from Costco to have around the house for the occasional times that I DO still feel snacky (because Kirkland protein bars are like half the cost of other brands at other stores) so I'm going to look into that when I do my shopping at the end of the month.

So when I was talking to Dr. K she suggested that, and also prescribed me uhhhh.... one sec. Spironolactone! (I think.) To hopefully help with the HORRIBLE ACNE I've been dealing with lately. EXCEPT. The other day I think I figured it out! My acne problem, I think, started about when I got my hair cut off AND STARTED USING HAIRSPRAY EVERY DAY. I THINK THE HAIRSPRAY IS GETTING INTO ALL OF MY PORES AND CLOGGING THEM UP. So two days ago I switched to hair gel instead and my skin already feels less gross. Pretty sure I found the culprit! ...the only thing that sucks is that I JUST bought a brand new can of hairspray two weeks ago and now it's just going to sit there. Blegh. I hate wasting money like that.

Um. What else.

Well, I'm working on Cerulean Blue right now, I'm like 9 pages in and on the first sex scene already so it's going about as expected. You should see me, an asexual, trying to write a MILLION smut scenes and keep them from getting boring when I, personally, couldn't care less. It's actually funny because I guarantee people who read my fics would never peg me as asexual. But I'm in this weird grey area of asexuality where I actually write sex scenes and enjoy writing them, I just get no sexual gratification out of them myself? It's weird. But also only m/m sex scenes, I don't want anything to do with female genitalia. :|

Which reminds me, I watched Alien: Romulus! (And then I watched it two more times, and will probably watch it several more in the near future, it's been too long since we've had a good Alien movie!) I really enjoyed it for the most part (obviously), the actor playing Andy was AMAZING, he had to play like four different versions of Andy over the course of the film and he nailed them all. Rain was a solid heroine in line with Ripley, just obviously younger and less experienced in the world. She was smart, though, and by the end of the movie I was definitely on Team Rain. I also really liked Tyler and was sad to see him bite it, but it IS an Alien movie, heavy casualties are to be expected.

Alien: Romulus was a solid movie, but for me it just suffered from being filled with too many TEENAGERS. (Realistically I'm pretty sure they were all supposed to be in the 19-->22ish age range? I should look that up.) A lot of them made stupid kid decisions that made me facepalm and the one guy was the epitome of an obnoxious teenage boy. HE HAD A COOL DEATH THOUGH SO THERE'S THAT.

The weird... vagina. Thing. That the one xenomorph births from was gross and left me feeling vaguely uncomfortable. Female genitalia really don't do it for me. (Says the person with pendants shaped like vulvas waiting to be made into necklaces.) So I could have done without that. Actually seeing someone die of alien acid blood was AWESOME. But again, they went with the human/alien hybrid at the end of the movie and I feel like we've been there, we've learned our lessons, why can't we just have a good, clean Alien film? I dunno.

Andy's "stay away from her you... bitch." was the best ever.

Apparently there's a new Predator movie coming out soon, too? But I haven't seen any trailers or anything so I'm not sure. The last one, Prey, was FUCKING FANTASTIC and if they keep it up I'm definitely in. I should watch Prey again some time soon...

Ummm. Oh. I have one book in my shopping cart at thriftbooks right now (I KNOW SHUT UP), The Raven Boys by Maggie Stiefvater, and only because I have a free book so all I have to pay for is the shipping. The shipping is going to be about $10CAD, though, and I literally have $2.10 in my bank account right now SO I GUESS IT'S WAITING UNTIL THE END OF THE MONTH LOL. The Raven Boys is the first in a series (The Raven Boys, The Dream Thieves, Lily Blue Lily Blue and The Raven King) and sounds really good so I'll probably end up picking the rest of them up eventually. Just not right now, lol.

It's been five days and my order with The Wilder Girls and Camp Damascus hasn't shipped yet and I'm starting to get annoyed. I'll give it another day or so and then maybe email them and just be like "...??"

Poe has offered to give me the photoshop files for any buttons from their shop that I like so I can have them printed for Esprit Studios, and then we can split the profits. I think this is a good plan for both of us, they get a bit more off the top of my sales and I get, you know, SALES, ideally. But I can't be ordering a shit ton of buttons until I have money again, so this is a long-term project. In the meantime, after this I have to go on Etsy and upload some more of my own buttons. I just procrastinate because I hate the listing process SO MUCH. SO, SO MUCH. UGH.

I also need to re-photograph (most of) my jewelry and update the pics for that stuff because the pics I have up right now just aren't cutting it. I've been using paint sticks that I got at Home Depot as a background, recently, and I really like the results, but I don't have enough sticks to make a big enough background for some of the jewelry so I need to go back and get more. Maybe at the end of the month. Last time I took like ten and the lady gave me a dirty look. :|

Oh, and padded envelopes. I need to order a shit ton of padded envelopes off ebay and little teeny fox boxes off uline. Also tissue paper, which I can get at the dollar store, thank God, and more Thank You stickers and maybe Recycle Me stickers off AliExpress? I just want to be prepared so I don't run out of stuff like a week into this endeavour. I have a FEW envelopes (like 100??) and a FEW Thank You stickers (also about 100, I think??) but not much else. It hasn't been a huge priority the last few months, considering how things had been going and the static nature of my Etsy site. :|

Been working on foxes the last few days. My Concrete Peaches set, now that I have the right color of grey for them, and the Rainbow Dash one that Poe specifically asked for. The CP ones are about half done, but I've got a ways to go on RD fox. I'd forgotten how tedious it is to paint the entire tail on these things. Getting there, though! I'm also planning to finish off my Nonbinary Cabbage Dog so I can send it to Poe in the parcel I'm sending them at the end of the month. I pretty much just have to finish the purple bits, paint and eyes and nose black and do some minor touch ups and it'll be done. I can probably do it in an evening if my brain would let me put aside the writing and work on something else for a while. :P

That is only partially a complaint, by the way, I have written around 110 pages in the last five days and that is INCREDIBLE. Granted, it's all fanfiction for a series that's got basically ZERO TRACTION so far, but still. I'm having fun.

Oh, and I got a SUPER enthusiastic review on Don't You Forget About Me this morning where the person was like "I JUST READ EVERY FIC IN THIS SERIES AND I LOVE IT SO MUCH I AM EAGERLY AWAITING MORE" and yeah. That made me smile. I like reviews like that.

EDIT: Tomorrow is Update Day for Horror High, chapter 7 this time, which means I can expect a few clicks but absolutely no feedback as per usual.

I have four (4) freaking button making machines (three different sizes of buttons) and all the button parts for them and I haven't been able to USE THEM in MONTHS because thebuttonguy.net went down and never came back up. That was the site I was using to design and print all my button patterns, and without it I'm BONED because I suck at photoshop and don't know how to design button pages on there. Not to go back to Poe again, but they were supposed to be teaching me how to use photoshop before they abandoned me, and now I'm just... floundering.

I've figured out how to do simple text buttons with a flat color background using Vograce's templates (one button at a time), but they aren't meant to be printed, they're for sending in to Vograce themselves for THEM to manufacture the buttons for you. So that's what I've been doing with a few buttons the last couple of months, but like... I had SO MANY buttons with beautiful backgrounds and everything on thebuttonguy.net and when they went down I lost all my designs and everything because they were stored in my account there. On photoshop I can't even figure out HOW to insert an image as a background. =/

It's very disheartening and frustrating and I'm kicking myself for not backing up all my designs on my own computer. Like, come on Sena, what were you THINKING??

EDIT: Coincidentally, the last of my Vograce button orders came in today so now I have no excuse not to photograph them all and get them up in my Etsy store. Yaaaaaaay. /sarcasm Photographing stuff is my least favorite thing about selling online. :P