senashenta | Entries tagged with wiggly foxes

In a move that I should have FUCKING predicted with how many times it's happened to me in the past with various aquariums, the external filter on the axolotl aquarium overflowed last night and I woke up to half my room in soggy carpet. Again. *FACEPALM* The first time since the co-op installed the new carpet, though, so I'm not happy for various reasons (and Mom won't be happy, either.)

So, I unplugged it for the time being and I'm going to pull it off the tank and take it apart, clean it out and get it running properly again, hopefully later today because I really need the surface skimmer to be operational. -__-; I also need to refill the tank to the top with water because it's down about an in-and-a-half of water, which is a TON in a 45-gallon aquarium. Just. All over my floor.

Other than that, I finished my brother's Wiggly Foxes last night and let them sit overnight to set, then sealed them this morning and once they were dry, and wrapped them all up and now they're under the tree. I included a card that explained that, despite their attached keyrings, Wiggly Foxes don't actually make great KEYCHAINS, they prefer to be used as decorations or ornaments eg: hanging from a car rear view mirror. Just so he and the girls know. (I hope they like them. <3)

Today my Beachwood Harbor Mysteries books are coming in via Amazon, and I also ordered a NEW MOTHER FUCKING SHOWER HEAD to put under the tree as a gift to "the house" because the shower head we CURRENTLY HAVE is SHIT and I have been campaigning for a new one for years but Mom and Lee seem content in the fucking rut. SO I'M TAKING THINGS INTO MY OWN HANDS. I WILL EVEN FUCKING INSTALL THE THING IF I HAVE TO. MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ME.

Anyway, that's coming in today too, so I need to get it into a bag and under the tree once it arrives.

Other than the filter than needs cleaned, today I also have to write my January postcards because we're going to Shoppers/the post office tomorrow. Normally I would have until the end of the month but everything happens around the 19th/20th in December instead. The 20th is my monthly shop for January, for example, so Friday wee get to do that. Fun times this time of year. /sarcasm

Then I also need to bake like a MILLION COOKIES today and tomorrow, because Friday is out.

I'm just... so busy. So busy. It's a busy time of year.

EDIT: Also I have two things that need to be wrapped before Saturday when Mom, Lee, my brother and I have our family Christmas. One is my brother's coasters set, and the other is the shower head which just arrived THANK GOD I WILL BE INSTALLING IT ASAP after someone opens it. :|

Current Mood: tired
Current Music: N/A: "The Walking Dead" on Riptide

I got my last-minute gift for my brother finished up yesterday and under the tree, and also went to the Dollarama and bought a bunch of boxes and bags to "wrap" my remaining gifts, since I can't actually wrap presents anymore because of my bag, so THOSE are all under the tree too, except for one that DOES have to be wrapped. But I figure I can wrap ONE and not DIE, so. Fingers crossed.

I'm like 95% done all the Wiggly Foxes for my brother (and his family), I just have to to the white bellies/ears/paws and paint the eyes/noses black. The black is always a pain because I have to do it with a needle, it's so small. I'm hoping to get everything finished tonight, though, so I can seal it tomorrow and wrap it up (i bubble wrap and a bag) tomorrow.

The other day I started working on the 3D printed Longma figurine that Poe got me forever ago. I dug it out along with the Kelpie figuring that they sent me. I just rediscovered them and was like !!! so that's my next project after my brother's Wiggly Foxes. I had to buy some more brushes, though, like micro-detail brushes, because the details on them are so teeny tiny.

What else.

As of right now, Storm Season is at 2 chapters, 199 hits, 3 bookmarks, 15 kudos and 2 comments which is on par with Horror High, if not better with the hits. Chapter three goes up in two days. I'd live more comments, but I guess it is what it is. I'll take what I can get. Last night I I went through some of the future chapters for when I need to add notes on the palraijuq because I couldn't remember which chapter it was introduced in (it was chapter 6, so I have lots of time.)

Right now I have TKA, Temper Tantrums, Serendipity and Controlled Descent open in Word but my brain hurts the last couple days. It happens when I got a night without sleep, it takes me a few days to shake it off, even if I get good nights' sleep after that. I honestly don't know how I survived with insomnia almost every night for years until Dr. K introduced me to Dayvigo. I was a mess. I prefer not to think about that time in my life. Not sleeping for basically three years straight? Blegh.

Oh, and I ordered another set of books, this time off Amazon, the Beechwood Ghost Mysteries. Mom read them on her kindle and they sounded really good, but I prefer real paper books when I can get them, so I ordered all eight of them off Amazon (that includes the one Mom doesn't have in her kindle set), plus the one just-for-kindle one (though I can't seem to get it to download TO my kindle?? Mental note to look into that more today.)

Still watching TWD, I'm on Season 7 now, I honestly don't know how many seasons there are in this series. I should look that up. Anyway, I have Season 8 downloaded already, and when I'm finished Season 7, I'll delete it and download Season 9. I have to rotate stuff because I'm running out of space on my laptop. :P

...it's been a couple of days since I cleaned out the axolotl aquarium, which is terrible, I'm a terrible Mom, but I've been feeling so shitty the last couple of days I haven't been up to it. I HAVE to do it today, though, I don't have a choice, even though I still feel crappy. Kaida, Haku and Ryuu deserve to have a nice, tidy home. (Thank God for my suction thing or I'd be BONED even on a good day.)

Current Mood: sore
Current Music: N/A: "The Walking Dead" on Riptide

Even though I couldn't sleep all last night I at least got a lot of Wiggly Fox work done, both on the ones for my brother and on another one I'm tinkering with, so there's that. I'm hoping to finish my brother's set tomorrow or the next day at the latest. And around 10am I managed to get to sleep for around 3 hours, which isn't a lot but was at least SOMETHING.

Today my brother was over to do his laundry and for Mom to take him grocery shopping, and he stayed for longer than usual, stayed for dinner (pizza) and even hung out in my room for like an hour. We had a really good talk, though when he first knocked on the door I had to real quick hide his Wiggly Foxes.

.....

I'm tired of drinking coffee already. I have to drink 3+ cups a day because of the NAFLD and I'm like... ugh. I hate it. I have to add SO much sugar to make it palatable, and I'm supposed to be AVOIDING sugar, right? Though right now I'm drinking it with eggnog in it because that actually makes it kind of good. I need to stock up on eggnog and freeze it for over the year, so I can have like one carton a month until next December. Or something.

My ODSP check comes in on the 20th this month, as usual, so Friday Mom and I are going out to do my monthly groceries early. I think this time I'm not going to buy my milk alternative at Costco and buy a bunch of different ones from Walmart instead to see which one I like best, you know? Test the waters.

I've been printing out song lyrics for songs I want to use in Marionette off-and-on and in the last few days I've picked out four more: "Break Away" by the Anna And The Apocalypse cast, "I Will Believe" by the Anna And The Apocalypse cast, "Be Not So Fearful" by A.C. Newman and "The Pale Light In The West" by Ben Nichols. They are added to songs like "Incomplete" by the Backstreet Boys, "Rainbow" by Sia and "Lifeline" by We Three. I need some more harder songs, but the ones I really like are from lesser known movies and are hard to find the lyrics for. Not all of these will be used, of course, just... songs that I like for Auralee's struggle.

I've had a sore throat the last few days and I'm not sure why. Whatever it is isn't progressing any farther, though, so I'm just living with it for now. Maybe I'll see if I can hunt down some Halls tomorrow, if it's still hurting...

Mom's birthday candles came in today and Lee gave me the money for them and then proceeded to "give them" to her today by opening them up and playing with them in full view of Mom for like fifteen minutes before finally PUTTING THEM ALL BACK IN THE BOX AND HANDING THEM OVER. like JFC, Lee.

Now I'm just watching some more TWD before I go to bed and (hopefully) actually sleep tonight.

P.S. I got zero writing done today. ZERO.

Current Mood: exhausted
Current Music: N/A: "The Walking Dead" on Riptide

So, Family Christmas was yesterday. That's kind of a misnomer I guess because I have three Christmases this year and all of them are with family. Anyway, I went through a lot of internal debate on whether or not I was even going to go, and eventually I decided too even though my anxiety was going to be screaming at me the entire time.

But it turned out not to be so bad in the end. Grandma came, but she was having a relatively good day (she only said she wanted to be dead three times) and I was able to curb my anger toward Aunt Brenda and Uncle Alec. The only real problem was that Uncle Len brought his dogs along, and while Huxley is a DOLL (he's 12, he's SO lazy and calm), Asher is still a puppy and is ALL OVER THE PLACE. He's a sweet pup, but I just wanted him to go away. Or at least find somewhere to lay down for a bit once in a while, honestly.

In the gift exchange I got a sparkly Mickey Mouse lantern (the gift that Mom brought) and then when it was all over I traded with Mom for a set of remote-control LED candles that I really loved (and kept having stolen from me) and she gave the lantern to Uncle Len for Clare/Alex. Then she asked me to buy HER a set of the LED candles off Amazon for her birthday, so I did, for 50 freaking dollars, even though I can't afford it, really. I think Lee is going to pay me back for them and give them to her himself instead haha.

By the time we left for home I was utterly emotionally exhausted and we got home JUST in time for me to feed the cats and retreat to my room, where I watched a couple episodes of TWD and then went to bed... for like 45 minutes. And then I woke up again, and couldn't get back to sleep all night.

So, I've spent all last night binging TWD episodes and working on Wiggly Foxes. I for a lot of headway on the ones for my brother for Christmas, now I have to do the white parts and the sparkly bits, and then the last-minute touch-ups. Also, I ordered some clips to add to their key rings so they're more versatile, I think 50 of them? I'm going to start adding them to all my Foxies from now on.

Also, I photographed my Christmas candles on our Christmas tablecloth with some Christmas baubles behind them and posted the listing for them on FB, so hopefully I'll get some bites in the next few days. I would be nice to make up a little bit of money after spending so much for Christmas, you know?

Which reminds me, I need to go to the Dollarama in the next day or two and but bags and boxes for all my gifts because I am LITERALLY incapable of wrapping presents anymore because of my back. As soon as I start leaning over for ANYTHING it starts seizing up and turns into an utter SHITSHOW. It's something I need to talk to Dr. K about when I'm in to see her in the new year. But it's really too bad because I used to fucking LOVE wrapping presents. Now I do ONE and I'm FUCKED.

In finger news, the scabs are entirely gone now and all the skin around the cut area has peeled off to new skin underneath, but it's still sore in places so I know it's still healing underneath. Progress, though.

Depending on how things go with the sleeping later today, I think I'm going to try two write a couple of scenes for TKA, since I just finished another SS one-shot. Either that or I guess I can try to focus on Temper Tantrums because I REALLY need to get back to writing the earlier SS one-shots instead of all the last ones lol. But yes, TKA first if my brain is up for it on zero sleep, that's the plan!

Current Mood: tired
Current Music: N/A: "The Walking Dead" on Riptide

Well, with the bandaids on my BUTCHERED finger I can still type but it's a little more difficult, I misspell things and have to go back and fix them more often and that sort of thing. Also there is minor pain? But only minor, I can withstand it. Still can't work on jewelry, I don't think, but I might try tonight and see how it goes? The worst that happens is that I try and it's a no-go and I have to put it away again. I CAN still paint, though, which is good because I still have three-and-a-half Wiggly Foxes to finish up for Christmas. :D;;

BUT I can't do the WORMS for the axolotls, which I guess I should have thought of before I cut my finger to ribbons, so for now the boys are on a strictly pellets diet and are... grumpy. But still eating, so that's good at least. I think tonight I'm going to give them some bloodworms and hopefully that'll cheer them up again, at least temporarily.

In related news, there is something in the axolotl aquarium that is making a GLUG sound and that is not a sound you want from your 'lotl tank so I'll have to explore that later. Somehow without getting my mangled finger wet. I can see this going SWIMMINGLY.

I finished writing Wayward Daughters (#28) and IMMEDIATELY started into Halcyon Days (#29) instead of Temper Tantrums (#6) which is the next one I SHOULD be writing because OF COURSE I DID. But I just got into a MOOD with Wayward Daughters and that story carries on into Halcyon Days, so I just kind offffff... *shrug* I dunno. I really do need to get to Temper Tantrums, though, and then Hunting Souls, and then Shrike. I need to build up a larder so I have stuff to post after Storm Season is through so I have time to finish the rest of the one-shots. I SHOULD HAVE THOUGHT OF THIS BEFORE CONCEPTUALIZING THIRTY OF THEM. THIRTY.

Speaking of Storm Season, though, I finally, since November is over and it's a THURSDAY!! posted the first chapter of it and it actually is doing pretty well so far. In the first 24 hours it's got 57 hits, 2 bookmarks, 6 kudos and 1 comment, which I KNOW doesn't sound like much but compared to Horror High's start it's STELLAR. The one comment was a person who said, basically, "I know you keep saying no one is reading this, but I love this series and look forward to every instalment." ...which was really nice. I know a FEW people are following the Horror High series, I just get so little feedback sometimes it SEEMS like no one does, you know?

This morning I had to be up super early and drink a ton of water because I had an ultrasound appointment at the hospital in regards to my PCOS and NAFLD. They wanted a full bladder ultrasound, an empty bladder ultrasound, and an INTERNAL ULTRASOUND?? I shut that down REAL quick. Dr. K knows better than to ask for those from me, it's not going to happen. I'll talk to her about it when I'm next in, I guess. Which reminds me, I need to go in for blood work before my next appointment as well.

I'm so sleepy today. All I want to do it lay down for a nap, but I have to start dinner prep in like 15 minutes so that's out of the question. I hate Fridays.

Current Mood: sleepy
Current Music: N/A

Right. Well. After I reached 50k on TKA I was SUPPOSED to take like a one or two day break and then get back at it, but it is day ELEVEN now and I JUST started writing TKA again now. *FACEPALM* After the first couple of days of my brain being MUSH I DID get back to writing, just... not TKA. I worked on SPN fanfic stuff instead, which, like, PRIORITIES?? BUT today's TKA session went well, it was about 2.5k long (ish) and I think I might finally be back at it! I just really want to get TKA finished so I can move on to the editing part.

I've been working on Temper Tantrums in the post-SS one-shots, and also Hunting Souls, and also Wayward Daughters, which is a new one that I just added to the roster. It's up to 30 freaking fics now and I'm hoping to keep it there because that is out of control. :|

I've been working on Wiggly Foxes a lot lately, especially the family of them that I'm making for my brother for Christmas. They're blue with pink tails and white accents. I'm also making a set of bracelets for him for Christmas but I need the bails and charms and I ordered them today, and the bails will be here tomorrow, but the charms won't be here until December 9->19 so that SUCKS. I can make the bracelets and then attach the charms after, but I'm super worried about the postal strike right now so??? The stupid thing is I KNOW I have some suitable charms around here, I just can't FREAKING FIND THEM. >:[

Today I have to make banana bread because I've been saying I'm going to make it for like a week now. Also bread pudding. But first I'm taking a nap because I woke up at 4am this morning and couldn't get back to sleep because NATURALLY. *eyeroll*

I'm hoping to FedEX Sethi's parcel to her and her family FINALLY this weekend. And also send Cassandra-san her little package, too. Turns out FedEX is actually pretty affordable if you don't mind it taking three whole days to get there. To the States, anyway, I'm not sure about the Philippines, I still have to get an estimate for that one.

Anyway, yeah. Not much to talk about today. More to talk about tomorrow when my Amazon parcel comes in. Cya.

Current Mood: tired
Current Music: N/A

Last night and this morning I finally managed to finish Teeth, which turned out 39 pages and 18,345 words long. I think it's the longest HH et al one-shot so far, which is funny because it's directly followed by Nightingale, which is the SHORTEST one so far. Next up is Temper Tantrums and then Hunting Souls and then I think Shrike? I'm starting to lose track, there are so many of them.

I still need to edit Ghost In The Machine, Pinfeathers and now Teeth, though. I've done a rough edit of When Lightning Strikes and Nightingale, but I should probably go over them again. I can't print hard copies right now because I have no ink atm though, which sucks. I can buy more closer to the end of the month, so in like a week or so.

But I promised myself I would work on TKA some more once I finished Teeth, at least 10,000-->15,000 words worth, so that's what I'm going to do before I move on to Temper Tantrums. I really want to get TKA finished and edited so I can try to get a book agent for it and see if I can get it published. That's the dream, anyway, but idk if anyone else will like my writing as much as I do. So.

Last night I moved everything out of my room so I could vacuum and then moved it all back in and my back only hated me A LOT for it, but it really needed to be done. If I didn't do anything that upset my health issues I would never do anything at all. So my floor is nice and clean and will stay that way for like... a day. Before the birds have it covered with feathers and stuff again. Sigh.

I couldn't find my wolf charms or my bails for doing one of my brother's Christmas gifts because my organization system is not so much of a system as it is SHOVE EVERYTHING ON THE SHELVES AND HOPE IT DOESN'T FALL OFF, and I ordered more charms from aliexpress but now the postal workers have gone on strike (AGAIN) so I have no idea when I'll be getting them, so I'm ordering (more expensive) ones off Amazon instead. Some bails, too, which were shockingly cheaper on Amazon than on ebay where I normally get them. But again, I can't afford to buy them until next week.

Today I have an appointment with Dr. K and I for serious have to talk to her about this whole NAFLD thing, as well as the side-effects I'm having from my breztri and possibly getting an increase in my baclofen because the less OTC muscle relaxants I can take the better. OTC ones have acetaminophen in them, which is bad for the NAFLD, and sometimes I can actually feel it in my liver when I take acetaminophen. Not really pain, but discomfort. It makes me nervous.

Tonight I'm going to try to get all the blue (and maybe some of the pink) painted on the Wiggly Foxes that I'm making for my brother for Christmas. That and I have to clean the axolotl tank again, but that's normal for my nowadays. Kaida, Haku and Ryuu keep me busy.

Oh, and tonight is my night for making dinner but I literally have no idea what I'm going to make so there's that. :|

Current Mood: blah
Current Music: N/A

I didn't get all the things accomplished today that I'd wanted to. I woke up just feeling... despondent, I guess, and couldn't shake it for most of the day. Every time I try to reach out to Poe and they ignore me makes me feel this way. I should probably just stop trying. But it's hard to let go of a friendship, especially one that brought you such great joy like ours did (for the most part.) I just need to learn to let go, I guess.

I was supposed to make bread pudding and banana bread today but neither of them got done. I decided at the last minute that I want to try making the banana bread with whole wheat flour instead of white, so I'm putting it off until after groceries when I can get Lee to buy some whole wheat flour for me. I have no excuse for the bread pudding except that I just wasn't up to it today.

This morning before my mood got really bad I did manage to finish my Christmas Wiggly Fox (Holly), which I made for Mom to put on the Christmas tree. But when I took it downstairs to show her, she didn't even look at it, she just dropped it on the desk and walked away. So that didn't help how I was feeling, either. Two weeks of detailed painting for literally no reaction. Like, fuck me.

This evening I managed to get up enough gumption to work on some writing, and I've written a couple more pages of Teeth, so I'm hoping to get it finished in the next few days. Then it's back to TKA for a bit. I'm at just over 50,000 words for TKA for now, but I took a break and when I go back to it I'm going to shoot for another 15,000 words before I take another break. Hoping to get it finished soon-ish, too. Then it's on to Freefall or My Zombie and the 20 other post-SS one-shots I still have to write.

Tomorrow I have to clean the axolotl tank again. It gets gunky really quickly, especially with three 'lotls in there now. This time I need to use a cloth or something to wipe down the side and back walls, and I also need to take the sponges off the filters and clean them, too, as well as the usual suctioning. It's going to take an hour, probably, and destroy my back, but I mean, bein' a good 'lotl Mom.

I'm having to get some money from Mom, and this time not a loan, I can't afford to repay it. But my finances are screwed and I need help, so she's bailing me out again. It makes me feel like shit. I hate myself for it, but I don't have a choice. Maybe if I can sell TKA I can manage to pay her back eventually. I've got that in the back of my mind, anyway, just a flicker of hope.

Current Mood: depressed
Current Music: N/A: "Paralysis" on Tubi

This morning I wrote a 6-page Taidan smut scene that will never see the light of day because TKA is aimed at YA audiences. It was somehow both really satisfying to write, and also felt pointless, so it was like... well, I've done that now I guess. I'll just tuck it in the back of the TKA binder For My Eyes Only and be happy with that. I guess I just felt that after everything Tyler and Aidan have been through they deserved to enjoy each other properly. *shrug*

This morning I also added six new projects to my NaNo profile, all of them Valdemar and all of them with over a year for a Complete By date: Brothers At Arms, Marionette and Fallout (all chaptered) as well as Wander, Not Horses and Graceless (which are all one-shots. I think. Sometimes these things have a way of getting away from me haha.)

That's about all I've done this morning, even though I woke up at 5am. I just watched/listened to Dr. Mike Reacts videos and working intermittently on wiggly foxes. I'm almost done my Christmas one (Holly) and the first (test) one of the bunch that I'm doing for my brother for Christmas. Oh, and I did another coat of glow-in-the-dark paint on the green fox, too. I still need to do the GITD paint on the blue one, too. And my ENTIRE idea for my belated Halloween one (Candy Corn) has been revamped, so now I have to... not start from SCRATCH, really, but change some stuff, which is a pain. :P

Last night I took the axolotl tank apart and cleaned it out thoroughly, and while Kaida freaked out a little and was Not Pleased, Haku and Ryuu like FREAKED OUT because it was their first time dealing with it. They hid FOREVER after ward. I think Haku might STILL be hiding, though I saw Kaida and Ryuu out this morning around breakfast time.

The only problem was the tank was extra dirty this time (I was a day late cleaning it), and taking everything out so I could vacuum it out stirred everything up into the water, so after I was done cleaning and put all the hides back into the tank, all the floating particulates sank back down and coated the bottom again. NOT as bad as before, but still. I was like BOO. I guess I'll clean it again tonight and try to get it up to par again. I also have to take the sponges off the filters and clean them out as well.

Yep, life as a 'lotl Mom. :D

This afternoon I think I'm going to make some bread pudding, since we've had the milk to make it in the house for like two weeks now and I found the recipe when I was organizing my recipes binder the other day before I baked cookies. Also, we have a MILLION bread crusts taking up room in the back of the fridge right now, so if I can get some of them used up that's good. I also kind of want to make banana bread, too, though, so idk idk idk I'll figure it out.

I keep periodically emailing Poe but never get a reply, and I've been keeping an eye on them on Insta, and they deleted their Insta a little while back, I probably mentioned it here. They do that when they're going through a hard time, just delete all their social media, so I was worried, but a couple days ago they popped back up on Insta again. And apparently they're having computer problems (as in: they don't have one atm), so that could possibly be part of why they haven't replied to my last handful of emails, because I know they don't do email on their phone. So, I left them a message on Insta.

I guess we'll see if that flies or not, but I'm not getting my hopes up anymore.

Oh, and last night I watched Red One and I THOROUGHLY enjoyed it, except that Chris Exans character didn't join Santa's secret security at the end of the movie. I was like booooooo at that because I felt that was the natural progression. But oh well! Otherwise it was a really good movie, even if it did suffer terribly from being a Christmas film. XD

Current Mood: tired
Current Music: N/A: "Dr. Mike Reacts to The Good Doctor" on YT

This morning I racked up over 5,000 words for TKA, so now I've clocked 45 pages and 21,082 words in just 8 days which is amaaaaaazing for me and the NaNo. I might manage to go over the 50,000 words before the end of the month, which is GREAT because I'm aiming for 80,000-ish words for TKA in the end.

I'm jumping around scenes and sections of the story the same way I wrote Horror High and Storm Season and that seems to be working really well for me. It somewhat gives me mental whiplash at times, though, jumping from scene-to-scene, especially when it's like a really serious or depressing scene and then jumping to a really fluffy or happy scene. I just did that recently and it was like... whoa. But at the same time, going to writing depressing shit to lighthearted stuff can be really good for me, mentally, too, it's like a lil vacation for my mind.

I am starting to get a little worried that there's too much dialogue and not enough descriptive text so far, but I have a long way to go, so hopefully I can turn that around. Plus there's always the editing phase, which is a whole 'nother ballywhack. :|

In regards to post-Storm Season stuff, I started working on Echoes a bit yesterday (Destiel porn so far lmao), and I think I want to work on Kindling some, but for some reason I am AVOIDING Teeth even though it's the next one I should be working on. Technically I already skipped it to write Nightingale. Anyway, I also changed the title of "Stalagmites" to "Serendipity", which I like better and I think suits the fic better as well. *shrug*

Today Mom took me out to Walmart and I got a gift card for Lois for Christmas, so tomorrow I'm going to wrap everything for Dad and Lois up and bake a batch of shortbread cookies for them so I can deliver their Christmas stuff on Sunday when we go down to take my stuff for storage. I need to go through the boxes in the basement for some big enough for a couple of the things, and dig out the Christmas wrap that's under my bed since the rest of it is all in the garage still, we haven't brought it in yet. But yeah, that's the plan.

Kaida is getting huge. He's maybe half the size of an adult axolotl? Maybe? Give or take, anyway. It's getting harder for him to find places to hide in the tank and he doesn't seem to feel the NEED to hide as much, but he still manages it from time to time. Mostly he just hangs out in the food drop zone, which is hilarious to me. He's not stupid!

Mom and I are going to Elmvale on Tuesday to pick up two other 'lotls from the woman I got Kaida from originally. I'm going to name one "Haku" but I haven't decided on the other, I kind of want to go with "Tatsuya" to keep the Japanese Dragon Naming Theme, but I also like the name "Falcor", so?? Yeah, I'll PROBABLY go with Tatsuya ("Tatsu" for short), but I'll decide for sure once they've been in the tank for a couple of days and I get to know them a little better.

The woman I'm getting them from says they're not so much like "underwater bunnies" as some people say, though, so if one of them turns out to be the opposite gender I don't have to panic. Apparently her boyfriend has had a mixed tank for YEARS and only had eggs like twice. And if you just scoop them out and discard them, it's no big deal. So I mean... there's that.

I've been working on tons of wiggly foxes right now, the batch that I was working on originally that's almost done as well as a set of four for Trunks for Christmas, a black-and-orange one, a Christmas one and a belated Halloween one with a candy corn tail. Plus the Rainbow Dash and starry void ones that Poe suggested that I'm avoiding because reasons.

I need to take my finished wigglies out to Mom's car to take pics of them hanging from the rear view mirror for my Etsy listings. Apparently any listings that have less than two pics they don't show in searches anymore, so it's like... I need more photos, and I don't really have any other ideas besides the rear view mirror one. Maybe some on the Christmas tree once we put it up? idek. I'm not good at this whole Etsy thing.

Yesterday my monstera clipping came in the mail. I paid the extra dollar and got a rooted clipping, and the seller sent me an extra clipping as well, so that was nice. I need to leave a good review for them ASAP. Anyway, I planted them and assuming they take properly, one (new!Castiel) is eventually going into the aquarium while I think I'll see if Mom wants the other one. She might like it, it's like a swiss cheese monstera or whatever so it's neat. Otherwise I'll keep both of them.

.....

I tried emailing Poe again the other day and they still won't email me back. I don't know why they have to be this way, but the more this goes on the more I think I actually AM better off without them, after all. And thinking that hurts like hell because they were somehow the best friend I've ever had despite the neglect and abuse. So, what does that say about me and my friendships, really? It's a sad state of affairs.

Current Mood: calm
Current Music: N/A: "Fear PHarm 2" on Tubi

I know it's only Day 4 but SO FAR SO GOOD ON THE NANO FRONT. This is the best I've ever done in the NaNo, sadly, so I am super pumped. I might actually like... do this thing. Currently I'm at 17 pages and 8,132 words which doesn't sound like a lot but is close to 10,000! :D The best part is that it's not even taking me all day, so I'm also working on other writing at the same time, which I didn't think I'd be able to do for basically all of November!

So, I've also been working on Nightingale, which is the post-Storm Season one-shot that is basically 100% smut, if you'll recall. I'm at 23 pages and 10,598 words for it, and it's going to clock in as a short one-shot in comparison to the others, but that's probably a good thing all things considered like there's only so much of Dean and Cas being in each other's pants in one fic that people can take, I feel. xD;; Anyway, when I finish Nightingale I really need to get back to Teeth because why am I writing these one-shots out of order? GAH.

Also, I've had time for some arts and crafts as well, so I've been working on some wiggly foxes! Finishing up my current set of four, starting a new set of four that's a Christmas gift for my brother, and doing Christmas and Halloween themed ones just for shits and giggles. WIGGLY FOXES FOR EVERYONE. (Mom says if it comes out nice enough maybe we can put the Christmas one on the Christmas tree this year so IMMA MAKE IT FUCKIN' FANTASTIC.)

Current Mood: hungry
Current Music: N/A

I haven't written anything in two days because Monday was Aquarium Day and then yesterday was Recovering From Aquarium Day Day, and I should be working on writing right now but I just... blegh. My brain feels heavy in my head and like it's full of cotton batting or something. I think it's just my ADHD kicking in really bad, because I've felt this way before, but it still sucks. I have stuff to DO, gdi.

I'm 18 pages and 8,068 words into Ghost In The Machine and I think it's going to be a longer one-shot because I haven't even gotten to any of the Investigating or Hunting parts yet, it's all just background and character interactions (and smut because what HH et al fic would be complete without that?) So It might be more like 40 or 45ish pages instead of the 35 or 35ish that the others have been so far. *shrug* I guess we'll see.

If I can't focus on writing today, I might try to do some painting. I have several painting projects on the go right now that I should be working on. I'm almost done my next batch of Wiggly Foxes, not that it matters because no one's buying them anyway. And I have a plastic goat skull that I'm repainting in the pansexual pride flag colors to hang on my wall. And a pan pride cabbage dog... though that one might have to be a nonbinary cabbage dog, since the one I originally made for Poe was in that parcel that is possibly lost now.

Anyway, after I'm done with the four Wiggly Foxes that I'm working on now I need to finish my Rainbow Dash one and my Starry Void one, and I'm also going to pull out three more to start, too, since I have five pegs to hang them on so I might as well. Not 100% sure what I'm going to do with the new ones, but I'm taking a kind of fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants approach to the Wiggly Foxes; no two are the same and I'm just making them up as I go. I might see if I have any that I can paint up like pokemon, though.

I need to take more photos for my Wiggly Fox ads because apparently listings with less than 2 pics don't show up in search results anymore, SO. I think I'm going to take them out to Mom's car and take pics of them hanging from the rear view mirror, because I think they would be happy as mirror danglers. Happier there than as actual keychains, anyway. Their little legs are kind of delicate for use as actual keychains. :P So I have to dig out the five I already have listed and take them out to take photos in the car, then add them to the listing. Then I can just do that right off the bat with the new ones as I finish them.

I wish I had that lantern hook that I held onto for so long, it would have been PERFECT for taking Wiggly Fox pics...

Last night I printed out like six pages of photos (4 photos per page) of the pics I took at the aquarium, just the really good ones that I particularly love. I got three pages in and ran out of blue in which, not a HUGE surprise since I was printing WATER pics, but still. Boo. Luckily I had a spare color cartridge in my Misc Bin, so I popped that in and was good to go, except now I have to order more color ink again. I'm going through ink hand over fist lately, it seems...

This morning when my alarm went off and I got up, Kaida was out and so I dropped her breakfast into the tank straight away and actually got to see her SNAP! at the little pellets as they floated down, it was really neat. I'm looking forward to when she's even bigger and I can see her more than I can now; she's still so small that she hides away in the nooks and crannies most of the time and it's like WHERE'S KAIDA?? WHERE'S KAIDA?? but with no THERE SHE IS!! in the end.

Today I have to vacuum her tank out (I do it ever second day), it's getting a little grungy, but mostly it's leftover food that's got to be scooped up because I am definitely over-feeding her. Still figuring out exactly the right number of pellets to give her each day, and it's constantly changing because she's growing so fast, but I'll get it down. At least the bloodworms at easy. I do need to get to the Dollarama to buy a pair of cheap scissors so I can start giving her proper wormy bits too, though, now that my huge tweezers have arrived in the mail... I've been into the Dollarama SO MANY TIMES since they arrived and I keep forgetting scissors like. *FACEPALM* But I don't want to use my good scissors for cutting up worms, so. Yeah.

If I can convince Mom to drive me to Elmvale in the beginning of November again to pick up one of Kaida's siblings, I think I'm going to name them "Haku", after the river spirit dragon from Spirited Away. My plush axolotl from the aquarium is called "Draco" haha. But this is all a pretty BIG "if" because Mom's already told me once she's not driving me back there, so it'll definitely take some smooth talking.

Yesterday I took Cas out of the aquarium. He just wasn't doing well there, he was very slowly dying off, his leaves were all rotting, so I pulled him, and bought some potting soil and a pot for him and yesterday afternoon I potted him in soil again. Hopefully he'll make it. Also I renamed him "Gabriel" so I can name whatever new plant I get for the tank "Castiel" to go with Dean (who is still THRIVING in the aquarium jfc Dean be a little happier why don't you.) I'm thinking about ordering a monstera off of etsy and giving that a shot. I've never tried a monstera before.

So, Poe emailed me to be like "I haven't been checking my emails. What address did you ship to? I live in _____ now." And I was like *KEYSMASH*, right, but I emailed them back and asked if their FAMILY still lived there and could forward the parcel to them and if I could please get their new address for shipping their werewolf when it finally arrives, and it's now been three days and... so fucking reply. They infuriate me sometimes with their inability to communicate like... just fucking email me back please I need to know what's going on with this parcel, if they can get it from their family or if it's totally lost and I just wasted $125 and all the stuff that was in it?? Like just. Please get back to me.

Next month I have to start buying stuff for people for Christmas and I have no idea what everyone is getting, really. I have Dad finished, but he's always the easy one. I know what I'm getting for Trunks (dragon coaster and a bag of treats), and what I'm getting for Mom (Dune movies and a new tablecloth), and I THINK what I'm getting for Lee (chocolates and a gift certificate to the music store.) I think Lois is just getting a Walmart gift card this year. And Cobin will get cookies and cash, same as every year. Oh, and I already have books for Grandma, But everyone else... idk. Maybe I'll do weird socks again, I just have to order them like ASAP in the beginning of November which means I have to go on AliExpress and pick them out NOW. =/

I hate shopping for Christmas on such a shoestring budget. It takes the fun out of it. At least I can mail Poe's card/coins/book in January for Birthmas. Assuming I have their new address by then. Like. I understand that their Dad isn't doing really well right now, but that's no reason to stop answering emails/messages entirely. Except that's what Poe does when bad things happen, they just... block out the whole world. Which I can understand, to an extent, but you can't just pretend that nothing else exists FOREVER, you have to check your fucking email at some point... 's frustrating, that's all. =/

Anyway. Still hoping to sell Ishana and nab another $100 from that, but at this point it's been long enough since I posted the ad that I'm starting to doubt it'll happen. At least I managed to sell Flora and Fauna (or whatever their names are now; I'm sure their new owner has changed them) and I would LOVE to sell Sofi but she's cobbled together from different doll parts and has all the discoloration on her from when she was wearing that horrible sweater, so. I can't really do much with her, despite wanting to.

Oh, and my peridot and amethyst chip beads came in yesterday, so now I'm just waiting on citrine, moonstone, tiger eye, fluorite and smoky quarts! Getting there!

Current Mood: blank
Current Music: N/A

I finished When Lightning Strikes last night; it came in at 32 pages and 14,721 words, which is about average for a one-shot in the Horror High et al series. The word count may increase or decrease incrementally when I sit down to edit it later, but for now I'm leaving it and moving on to the next one, Ghost In The Machine, which co-stars Charlie Bradbury. <3

Also even though I scrapped Stalagmites, I added in a new one-shot between Temper Tantrums and Halcyon Days. It's called Hunting Souls and is another one where Cas is reunited with one of his old school friends, this time Jo. Though I am wavering a little on it because the other three with that theme are for his core group of three friends, and I'm not doing one for Kevin, so like?? But it's a really good idea, story-wise, and also Dean and Cas fucking in the back of the Impala. :3

Yesterday my brother came over to do laundry and stuff and he got his birthday pie and didn't even say thank you. He's always rude as fuck when it comes to that, he never says "thank you" for ANYTHING, not even birthday and Christmas presents. He's actually completely alienated Grandma because of it. And I don't know where it comes from because Mom really instilled in us to be polite in that regard the whole time we were growing up. It's like he moved out on his own and decided fuck polite society or something.

Anyway, after he left Lee went to run a load of laundry and halfway through the washing machine broke SO THERE'S THAT. I had laundry to do as well, but I guess not so much anymore. I'm not DESPERATE, though, like I still have some clean underwear and everything to get me through a few days, but still. So Mom and Lee are going out today to see if they can find another washing machine, even though it's Sunday. Most places are open Sundays now, anyway.

I think I need a second dose of fluconazole, I took it on Friday morning and it knocked my YI down a peg but it hasn't cleared it up entirely, which isn't a surprise given how FREAKING BAD it was. But the pharmacy won't refill my prescription for like a month, I don't think, which will just give the YI time to build up again, I think I'm going to have to go to Walmart and buy some fluconazole instead, which is like $20 I don't have. I'll TRY the pharmacy and my 'script again first but I mean... yeah. I think I'm about to be out a bunch of money, here, because I need more cream, too. Sucks.

Sometimes I worry about my liver because of the amount of pain meds I have to take to make it through each day. It's probably just in there screaming for mercy at this point. And I read earlier that a toxic liver can cause bad acne, which I've been experiencing the last few months, so that's got me wondering. I know I shouldn't just jump on stuff I read online but I really DO take a LOT of pain meds, especially acetaminophen, which is particularly hard on your liver. idk. Just. Worrying.

Yesterday I fed Kaida some bloodworms and she deemed them worthy of coming out of hiding for and she is getting SO BIG!! I'M SO PROUD OF HER!! I mean she is still tiny, but she's probably half again the size she was when I brought her home, she's growing so fast!! AHH I'M A PROUD 'LOTL MAMA!! (I would still die for her.)

In related news, I think I am going to just have to pull Castiel out of the tank entirely and re-pot him in dirt, he's really not doing well and I don't want him to die. =/ So later today I think I'm going to go to the Dollarama at the corner and pick up some potting soil and a pot for him. This means separating him from Dean, who is THRIVING in the aquarium, but I guess it is what it is. Maybe I'll just rename him something else and get a new plant for the tank to name "Castiel" instead. NO ONE WILL EVER KNOW.

Mom and I are going to the aquarium TOMORROW and I'm SO EXCITED. I haven't been to an aquarium since... 2006? 2007?? Something like that. And Mom has NEVER been to one, so I'm excited for HER, too. Just. Excitement in general. I'm going to make sure my phone is fully charged and take SO MANY PICTURES. And then buy something nifty at the gift shop, of course!

I'm liiiiiiike 95% done my current batch of Wiggly Foxes, I just have to go over the white with a second coat, paint their little, super tiny eyes and noses black and use a cue tip and some acetone to touch up their tails a little. And I'm considering painting the green one with a glow-in-the-dark coating?? But I haven't decided for sure on that one yet. Still thinking it over because that means doing a coat over all the green parts again and having to do touch-ups and stuff and idk if I feel up to that with this particular batch of foxies.

Then it's on to the next batch of Wiggly Foxes and deciding what I want to do with them! :D

EDIT: I'm trying to write Charlie for Ghost In The Machine and I am STRUGGLING. She feels really OOC to me, and I don't have anyone I can get to read what I've written so far and tell me if I'm being paranoid or not. Boo to not having any SPN friends. BOO I SAY. Anyway my head hurts so I'm just going to take a nap and then get back to it later today, hopefully. :|

Current Mood: hungry
Current Music: N/A

Today is Thursday, which means I posted the last post-Horror High one-shot, Falling Stars, to AO3 and Tumblr (I'll get around to Vanimadin later today.) It's kind of... bittersweet, posting the last of the post-HH one-shots. I know I have a whole other cycle to go through in the series with Storm Season and IT'S one-shots but it still feels like the end of something. I dunno. It's weird.

Everything I Do didn't do very well AT ALL (235 hits, 26 kudos and 1 bookmark; no comments) which was disappointing because that was my personal favorite of the bunch, but there's nothing I can do about it. I thought people would like the fact that there was a top!Cas/bottom!Dean scene in it, but maybe the tags were confusing, because I had to include all the tags for that position as well as the usual one. They were pretty muddled.

I guess I just keep holding out hope that the series will somehow catch on, even though it's pretty clear by now that it's not going to, just because I love it so much. Still, I do get the occasional comment, and every time I'm nervous to click on them in case they're someone telling me my writing is bullshit, you know? But so far all but one have been really positive. I literally JUST got one for Falling Stars (like 5 minutes after I posted it, this person is a SPEED READER) where the person said they loved the series, so that's a good way to start out with a new fic, right? Right.

I'm done the first-draft editing of Storm Season up to Chapter 5 so far, so I just have 6-->10 to go, and then I'll circle back around and go through them all over again just in case. I have a little timeline that I'm scribbling out on a post-it note as I edit because I'm fairly sure I screwed up my timing with a couple of things along the way. They're easy fixes, I just need to know the time between specific events that I laid out originally. I think I kept just referring to past time as "two weeks" or "a couple of weeks" when actually like a month had passed, and that's the kind of thing people call you out on lol. I've learned that from experience.

Then it's on to finishing up and editing When Lightning Strikes, and then the others, but only until November 1st at which point fanfic is getting put to the side in lieu of writing TKA.

I'm so nervous about this whole TKA thing, though, like I really, REALLY want to do well at it, but with my past track record with the NaNo I'm super afraid the same thing is going to happen here, again, and nothing will really get done. I keep trying to put these thoughts out of my head and focus on the fact that I have like three years of planning and an entire huge long, detailed outline to go by this time, but they sneak into my brain anyway. I wish they'd go away. I wish I had more confidence with myself.

.....

Like two years ago I downloaded the first season of a series called From because I heard about it and it sounded right up my alley, and then when I watched it it was SO UNBELIEVABLY GOOD OMG so I looked up to see if there were other seasons, and there was one other, so I tried to find IT to download, too, only... nada. Zip. Zilch. Couldn't find it anywhere. So, I've been lowkey looking for it off-and-on ever since and two days ago I searched for it again and I FOUND IT, so I downloaded it like ASAP before the universe noticed and took it away again.

And again, it was SO FREAKING GOOD. I LOVE FROM SO MUCH (but like, the title? Please that is the hardest thing in the world to search for. You get everything. EVERYTHING.) And apparently there is a third season out now, which I am excited for, but like... I have no idea when I'll be able to find it. Could be another two years. idek. Hopefully not but we'll see because it's SUCH a good series. <3

Last night I emptied out one of the bins on my shelves and packed up some stuff for storage to make room for my binders full of writing. They all fit except for the Biology (et al) binder, which is in Jessie's room now, and my new TKA binder, which is just kind of sitting next to my computer table, but like... this is a SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT because I used to have SIX huge binders between my computer table and my work table, so I cleared out a lot of floor space with that, and they're much more organized now. I do wish Biology and TKA would fit, too, but there's not much I can do about it at this point. =/

I'm 90% of the way through my next batch of Wiggly Foxes. I just have to touch up the white on their bellies, paint the white in their ears, and paint the black on their noses and eyes (with a sewing needle, SUCH a pain) and then I can take pics (UGH) and list them on Etsy. Then I'm going to start working on finishing up my Rainbow Dash fox and my Starry Void fox, the ones that Poe suggested, even though it's depressing to work on them, still. And after that I'll dig out four or five more Foxes and start over again.

I think later today I'm going to try to make a point of sitting down and posting all my buttons to Etsy as well, finally. The Pontypool and Evil Dead Rise and misc. ones. Then I can start working on designing more. I have Ghostbusters, Abigail and Late Night With The Devil quotes that I want to use, and eventually I want to do some JAWS, Jurassic Park and Alien quotes as well. I have to figure out a way to pick quotes that would appeal to the masses and not just ones that are niche to me.

I also need to re-take the pics of some of the jewelry I've already got listed and swap them out now that I have a better background. Just. I have so much Etsy stuff to do but I always procrastinate on it. I would SO MUCH rather just take my wares to a market or con and sell them all there. Etsy is tedious and, at least for me, a pretty much constant let down.

Anyway. Now I'm going to go do some editing for a while before I have a nap. Tonight is my turn to cook supper, but I'm just making Hamburger Helper because *SHRUG* And then tomorrow I HAVE to make an apple pie for my brother, it's already a week late. I would do it today but there's no room in our fridge and I want it to be as fresh as possible for when he comes over on Saturday. :P

Current Mood: blah
Current Music: N/A

Well, I woke up at 3:30 a.m. and haven't been able to get back to sleep so that sucks. =/

In other news, I've only had Kaida for two days and I would already die for her. >:|

Last night I thawed some bloodworms for her and she decided that bloodworms trump hiding from everything and came out to nom them down ASAP so that was nice. Good to see she's still thriving and eating. I'm not 100% sure HOW MUCH she should be eating at this size, so I'm just feeding her a couple times a day and hoping that's enough?? FINGERS CROSSED?? She is VORACIOUS though, she eats like a BLACK HOLE lol.

Turns out I did my initial calculations wrong and my tank is actually big enough to house like 3.5 axolotls, not 1.5 (so 1) axolotls like I previously thought, so I'm going to be getting another one in the future, just... once Kaida is big enough that I can tell her gender FOR SURE and then I can look for another one the same gender and general size to be her buddy. I don't want one 'lotl EATING the other (which will happen if one is too much bigger than the other) or to end up with 1,000,000 babies (which will happen if they aren't both the same gender.) :|

For now I'm good with just Kaida, though the urge to go back to Elmvale and just buy another little 'lotl from the woman I got Kaida from is REAL, not gonna lie. Good thing Mom has flat-out REFUSED to drive back there again haha. (When I get a second 'lotl I'm going to name it Drake, I think!)

I still wish I could put some fish in the tank too because there's TONS of empty space in the top of the aquarium that a school of little fish like neon tetras would look great in but ALAS. I know better!

.....

I currently have citrine, mooonstone, tiger's eye, fluorite and lapis lazuli chip beads all in various stages of On Their Way To Me in the mail for making Wiccan bracelets out of. Right now I already have chalcedony, black tourmaline and aquamarine. I might make a couple of bracelets tomorrow (today) or the next day, in and around finishing up some Wiggly Foxes (I have four that are SO close to being done!) and making an apple pie for my brother for his birthday.

Oh, and I have an entire page of Ghostbusters quotes, an entire page of Abigail quotes and some Late Night With The Devil quotes to pick-and-choose from to have made into buttons for my Etsy, which would MEAN MORE if I actually got the buttons I ALREADY HAVE up on my Etsy. :| Anyway, I'm going to watch JAWS, Jurassic Park and Alien and write down quotes from them as well. Yaaaaay quotes.

I also have a copy of Wilder Girls that should be arriving tomorrow, which, I mean, I already OWN (and love) Wilder Girls, but I wanted to send a copy to Poe along with the Birthmas card I'm planning to send them, so. *shrug* It was my free book with my book rewards off thriftbooks so it only cost me the shipping. It's no big deal.

This afternoon I have to go get some bloodwork done finally to check my hormones levels, because I'm pretty sure I'm pre-menopausal at the very least. It sucks but I've been sitting on the bloodwork rec since my LAST appointment with my Doc, so like two and a half months ago. I really need to get it done so the results are in in time for my NEXT appointment, a month from now.

Yesterday Mom and I finally got my A/C unit taken out of my window. It's not DIFFICULT, really, it's just awkward and that makes it a two-person job. Now I have control over how much of a draft comes in my window again, which is really nice, since I have the huge ice box of an aquarium sitting in the corner of the room now. Seriously, that thing puts off SO MUCH COLD it's ridiculous. Damn axolotls being cold-water animals lol.

I'm officially over 60,000 words in Storm Season, so less than 10,000 left to reach my goal! But I do think it's going to end up longer than 70,000 words in the end. Not sure HOW MUCH longer, but longer. Originally I thought it was going to end up shorter than Horror High, but Storm Season is turning out to be more dense, word-wise, so I guess we'll see! :D

I posted Everything I Do less than 24 hours ago and so far it's got 95 hits and 21 kudos, but no bookmarks or comments. That's actually not bad for one of my HH fics, but we'll see if the momentum keeps up. Probably helps that there's a brief, shining moment of top!Cas and bottom!Dean in it, which is what the fandom seems to prefer. (Means Tying Knots and Quick Hitch should go over okay? Maybe??)

Speaking of top!Cas and bottom!Dean, turns out there's a scene with them like that RIGHT near the end of Storm Season as well, so there are actually two top!Cas and bottom!Dean scenes in this series. In like 600 pages of writing, there are maybe 8 pages of it for the fans to eke out lmao sniff it out if you can, guys! :D;;

Current Mood: awake
Current Music: N/A

Storm Season is up to 118 pages and 52,957 words and I'm still going strong. At this rate I'll have it completed by the end of October easily. I did some editing on the first three chapters yesterday but I'll definitely need to edit the whole thing at least twice before I start posting it. (I hate the editing process but I also obsess over it so. There's that.) Then I'm going to move on to working on finishing up the post-Storm Season one-shots, but that might not happen until December.

I've shut down all but like 5 tabs in Word (Storm Season, When Lightning Strikes, Ghost In The Machine, Pinfeathers and my journal) so hopefully I'll stay on-task, but then again I've tried this before and the other tabs just keep... opening. Almost on their own. Like magic! :D;;

Today is the day Mom and I are driving to Elmvale to pick up my axolotl! I'm so excited! The tank is all ready and the right temperature (thanks to the cooling fan) and there are all sorts of hidey holes and stuff! The guy apparently has two and I get to pick which one I want, so I'm looking forward to it. And $50 for an axolotl is a good price, if I was buying one from a PET STORE it'd be hundreds of dollars. (Mom still winced at the $50 though like she doesn't understand pet market pricing AT ALL.)

It seems Poe had got themself at least one new axolotl, now that they're (I think) living in the annex instead of the main house, their Mum can't say anything about them having pets anymore, which is good. Pets are good for Poe, just like they're good for me. I wish I could message them and say how happy I am for them, but even if I did they wouldn't message back, so it's pointless. Still, good news on the Poe front.

I ordered some citrine and tiger's eye chip beads for making into bracelets. I'm trying to get gemstones that have uses in the magic community so I can make Wiccan bracelets, but I can only afford a few beads each month. I got chalcedony and black tourmaline a couple months back, then I got aquamarine last month. They all have their uses. I know this kind of thing is better coming from an actual Wiccan but what people don't know won't hurt me. Besides, I was Wiccan briefly, years back. :|

I have a bunch more jewelry to post to my Etsy, as well as my current buttons (mostly Pontypool and Evil Dead Rise quotes) but I'm procrastinating over it because I hate taking the pics and I hate doing the listing so I'm like... BLEGH. But I have a whole bunch of Ghostbusters (1984) movie quotes that I want to make into buttons, and I want to do some Abigail (2024) quote buttons, so I can at least get started on those... in between... all the writing I'm supposed to be doing?? idek I have too many projects.

Speaking of projects, I have four new Wiggly Foxes like 2/3 done! They started off orange with grey socks and gloves and I painted over the grey in different colors. One is blue, one is pink, one is green and one is half/half metallic purple and metallic gold. They're turning out really good, but it always takes forever to paint a fox. They're tedious. That's why they're so expensive.

Um.

Oh, last night I made a sweet potato pie for the first time! I tried it once way back years ago at Andy and Carolyn's place and really liked it, and I wanted to make something different for Thanksgiving this year. It turned out really good, based on the little dish of extra filling that I baked alongside it.

Speaking of Thanksgiving... my sister and sister-in-law want to host this year and that's fine, but it means my OTHER sister and their mom will be there and I don't know if I'm up for their bullshit right now. Last night Amy called and asked if I was going to be coming and I was like "I DON'T KNOW??" because it is literally going to depend on how I'm feeling that particular day (this coming Sunday.) But even if I don't go, I'm sending a pie! So!

I asked my brother what he wanted me to make him for his birthday this year and he said a deep-dish apple pie so I have to do that on like... Thursday or Friday? Because Mom is getting together with him Friday night so she can deliver it then, or I can give it to him on Saturday when he comes here to do laundry because God forbid he go to a fucking laundromat and not raid our fridge once a week. Anyway.

Also, Dad watched Deadpool And Wolverine and wasn't impressed because the plot was weak and the violence was over-the-top and I was like of like "...do you KNOW Deadpool??" but I just replied to his message "I respectfully disagree! :D" and left it at that.

Current Mood: antisocial
Current Music: N/A

Today I woke up at 5:30am and couldn't get back to sleep so now I'm just... puttering around. I posted Cerulean Blue to AO3, Tumblr and Vanimadin, so we'll see what kind of reception that gets, and I posted my photo for the day for my photoblogging already, and I also did some image editing for covers for some of my writing because I'm super into doing that right now.

I have three things arriving from Amazon today; my Jamieson probiotic gummies, my aquarium thermometers, and my turkey baster. Unfortunately my super long tweezers won't be here until the end of the month so I'm going to have to jury-rig something else for feeding worms to my axolotl when I get it next week. Maybe chopsticks?? idk I'll figure something out.

I keep looking at my huge aquarium and wishing I could get some little fish to go in the tank with my future axolotl, just for visual interest, but sadly... they could potentially pick at the axolotl's gills, which is no good, or, when the axolotl got big enough, it would just EAT THEM, which is also not good, so like. No fishies. Or anything else. Just the 'lotl. But I'm fine with that! I'll just fill it up with plants (inside and out) and make it pretty that way.

(I'm so excited for next week like ahhhh!! X3)

I decided that today I'm going to just... bite the bullet and get down to unpotting Sam to put him in the aquarium. It's such a Job with a capital "J" to unpot plants, I hate it. I learned that doing Cas and Dean. But like... I need to do it eventually and I want to get it done BEFORE the axolotl is actually IN THE TANK so. TODAY IT IS. (My spider-plant, Jack, is going to have to go in after the 'lotl is already in the tank but there's just no getting around that. He's still too little to go in yet.)

I need to get another air pump for the aquarium, this last one that I bought is UNACCEPTABLY LOUD. The PREVIOUS one I got is basically WHISPER QUIET but when I needed a second one I cheaped out and bought a less expensive one and now I regret my life choices. So I have to go back and buy another one of the good ones because the noise is driving me BONKERS. Did I mention I HATE air pumps??

.....

Yesterday I made the rice pudding I've been meaning to make for like a month now and it turned out great as always, and now I have a little bit of 2% milk for two or three teas as a treat since it only takes 3/4 of a carton to make the pudding. I LOVE 2% milk in my tea and cooking/baking but Mom and Lee keep stupid 1% in the house instead and I'm like... blegh. At least it's not skim. For a while they kept THAT in the house and it was just COLORED WATER GDI.

Some time in the next couple of days I need to go at and make the sweet potato pie that I've been procrastinating over, too. I think one of the sweet potatoes is starting to grow mould. They probably should have been kept in the fridge?? But Lee has been really bitchy lately about me having too much stuff in the fridge, so I just left them out to avoid the inevitable conflict. Like, I understand that the fridge is getting full, but I fucking live here too, you know?

Anyway, I'm making a practice sweet potato pie to see if it turns out before Thanksgiving weekend, when my sister is having everyone over for Thanksgiving dinner. If it DOES turn out then I'm going to be making another one for that, though I may just be sending it along with Mom and Lee because idk if I'm going to feel up to going to a huge family get together like last year. Especially if Sarah and Heather are going to be there. I can't handle their stupidity. I mean. It's... nice. Seeing everyone. But my anxiety and depression really don't like it AT ALL, and with how I'm feeling lately I just... I don't want to be there for 30 minutes and then have to beg Mom to drive me home because I'm about to have a breakdown. I dunno. I guess we'll see how I feel on the day. =/

I've been working on a set of Wiggly Foxes the last few days, they're all base orange but I'm painting their socks/paws/ears/parts of their tails different colors. One is Cayman Blue, one is Thistle Blossom Pink, one is Spring Green and the fourth is half Violet Pansy Purple and half Bright Gold. They're coming along really nicely.

I really enjoy doing my foxes, but they cost like $14.99USD each because of the sheer amount of time and effort that goes into each one. It takes me DAYS to paint a fox, so they're pretty expensive. I have a few up in my Etsy store right now but no one's biting. Then again no one bites at anything in my store, so what else is new? I think the foxies would go over better at cons or markets (especially cons) but I don't currently have access to anything like that, so I mean. Etsy it is, I guess.

I really have to get my current buttons up on my Etsy, too. The Pontypool and Evil Dead Rise ones. Buttons are a big commodity and they seem to go over well, and I have all the photos taken I just have to upload them and list them I just fffffffffffucking hate doing Etsy listings. *HEADDESK* But again, I've got to just... buckle down and do it. I also have some new ones that I want to make with Abigail quotes, and I want to do some Captain America and Deadpool ones we well. I wish I could figure out how to insert images as background for buttons, though, I've been trying for months and still can't get it. Frustrating.

A little while back, Poe offered to let me sell their button designs in my shop and I went through and picked the ones I liked and they sent me the files so I could have them made, but then I ended up ending our friendship, essentially, so part of my goodbye letter was to say thank you so much for the offer, but that I wouldn't be using their buttons after all. It's too bad, there were some good ones. But I guess I'll just keep doing my own thing, making buttons my own (shitty) way, and hopefully things on Etsy will pick up, especially since I can't work anymore...

I've managed to get back into working on Storm Season again, I think, not that you could tell it from this morning so far. I'm hoping after I feed the cats I can sit down and bang out a few pages. I'm up to 101 pages and 45,111 words, so I'm getting there. According to the NaNo word tracking bar graph it looks like I'm about 2/3 there. Seriously, though, using the word trackers at the NaNo website have been SO helpful in visualizing my progress and where I am in any given project. I have a really hard time doing that on my own, so. Yeah.

It's only the 3rd of October so I have pretty high hopes that I'll get Storm Season finished by the time the NaNo rolls around in November and I throw my hat in the ring with TKA. Not 100% sure about all the one-shots, but hoping to have at least the first three of those finished as well to give me some padding to finish the other four after I finish posting Storm Season.

I'm PRETTY sure I'm going to start posting Storm Season after the NaNo is over, in the beginning of December, but I might start posting it sooner than that, depending on when I get it finished and how much editing I can get done/how quickly I can get it done. I would love to start posting Storm Season chapters the week after I post Falling Stars, but that's only a couple weeks away now and I doubt I'll have it finished and edited in time for that. Maybe for the beginning of November, if I really push myself, though, then I could post updates throughout November while I was working on the NaNo.

But yeah, I dunno, I guess we'll see.

Current Mood: calm
Current Music: N/A

Hauling boxes today was made more difficult by the fact that when I PACKED the boxes I packed for PROFESSIONAL MOVERS, not just me and Mom, so half of them were super heavy. He had to use the dolly to move most of them, but I still had to haul them up the stairs from the basement TO the dolly because Mom basically tagged out and then never tagged back in.

It was unpleasant, but we got a lot done, and we got the remaining stuff mostly organized. Mom got annoyed with me because I pointed out that it wasn't all going to FIT in the space my Aunt and Uncle allocated, she was like "we know that!" and I'm like okaaaaay then why the fuck were you both telling me it would all fit, and I mean REPEATEDLY?

Dad is still willing to take some stuff, but idk how much space he'll be able to make in the loft. I'd been hoping that all the boxes from the basement HERE could go there, but at this point I don't know. It's going to take at least two trips down to Georgetown anyway, so I'll be able to judge better after the first trip. Hopefully soon.

The guy with the axolotls on kijiji that I messaged this morning still hasn't messaged me back, and I'm getting really tired of people on that site just ignoring me. If you've already sold the axolotls then at least reply with a quick note letting me know. The ad was still live when I messaged you, I deserve the courtesy of a reply at the very least, don't I?

Either way, on the way home from Baysville I got Mom to swing by the sporting goods store across town from us so I could ask about what worms they carry and if they carry them all year around or not, and they carry the ones I need all year, so I have somewhere to go for wormies for my future 'lotl, which is good. And I think the pet store sells frozen brine shrimp for treats and stuff.

Assuming I can ever actually find an axolotl to buy that I can afford.

Anyway. After we got back home I got changed immediately because I was GROSS and started up some laundry which I need to go take out of the dryer when I'm done writing this entry. Then I took some muscle relaxants and turned on a movie (Abigail) with the intention of writing while I watched it but I just... didn't. I DID get started on a new Wiggly Fox, though, repainting the grey on one of the orange foxes to pink. So far it looks good.

My motivation to write has been declining lately and I think it's because my ADHD meds aren't working as well as they had been, like I was saying before. I need to talk to Dr. K about that but I'm not in again until November. Also, the depression isn't helping at all. Depression is always murder to my creative pursuits.

What I really WANT to write are the post-Storm Season one-shots, but there's a lot of stuff I can't write yet because I haven't finished Storm Season ITSELF. So, I'm just tinkering with them in little bits and pieces that hopefully won't go against anything that ends up happening in the main fic. I'll have to edit them all a couple or ten times anyway, the same as I did with the post-Horror High one-shots, so I guess I can just edit out or adjust any errors. idk.

I'm also considering writing a Witcher SPN AU fic, just to give myself a break from the Destiel for a minute. Write some Lambden or Geraskier for a bit instead...

And now it's time for dinner and laundry, and then I'm going to watch Alien: Romulus and (hopefully) work on writing. Or something.

Current Mood: tired
Current Music: N/A: "Alien: Romulus" on Riptide

So I did the math and to reach 50,000 words in 30 days I'll have to write 1,666 words a day (approximately, because it goes on to .666666666 etc.) And there's approximately 250-->300 words (12pt Arial font) per page, which means I need to write 6.6 PAGES a day (again, approximately, it peters into a million sixes again.) I am attempting to write 200 pages in 30 days which is WAY more than I've ever written in that amount of time before. Even Horror High was only 167 pages and it took me 6 weeks. But it was 70,659 words so. There's that.

I don't know, I guess knowing the numbers and having a goal for each day helps. Say I round it up to 7 pages a day, that sounds like nothing but it's actually a lot of writing, I need to really psych myself up for it. Good thing I still have a month to go. :| lol.

I went at this morning and updated my NaNo profile and projects, got rid of the old ones that never went anywhere and deleted the old TKA, started a new one for this year's NaNo, so the start date on it is November 1st. Also changed out my header image and icon because they were My Zombie related and I'm not doing My Zombie right now. Hopefully soon-ish though. I still need to write out all my plotline jot notes for MZ, though I have REAMS of background info and character info already written out. (I need to edit that at bit, too, though.)

This morning, being Thursday, was Horror High et al Day, so I posted Counting Scars at an ungodly hour this morning and it's already got 70 hits, 1 bookmark and 6 kudos, but no comments so far. We'll see how it goes. It's probably not healthy to obsess over the numbers for my fics like I do, but I can't seem to help it, and right now it gives me something to focus on besides the CRUSHING DEPRESSION.

I'm 87 pages into Storm Season, which means I've really slowed down the last week or so, and I haven't been working on anything else the last couple days, either, aside from joy notes for Serial Spirits and The Rabid. Being depressed really saps by creativity in a huge way and I'm just like... I dunno. I CARE, but at the same time I DON'T CARE, you know? I guess that's the nature of depression. At least I'm not trying to off myself this time, so that's a plus.

I think I'm going to stop posting my photoblogging to my blog, the image hosting site I've been using has suddenly stopped working and I get the feeling it's a "you've posted __# of pics with us, now you have to pay" sort of situation. Even if it's not and they're just glitchy as hell it's no good. Either way I have nowhere to host my photos for my DW, so I'm going to just stick with Insta and FB for my photoblogging and keep it at that. I'll go back and delete all my photoblogging posts in my DW later, all the photo links for them are broken now anyway.

Yesterday I finally dug out a USB stick and backed up my writing folder and a couple other things onto it. My writing folder alone had 450+ items in it. I'm rather prolific. With the IDEAS, anyway, if not actually getting them written. Though that's much better since the ADHD meds, of course.

I think the ADHD meds aren't as effective with me now as they were to begin with, though. They aren't having the same effect, and I need to talk to my Doctor about possibly upping the dosage. Apparently I'm currently on the lowest possible dosage for them, so there's room to bump me up if needed. I'll ask her about that at my next appointment, I guess. It's in the beginning of November.

Yesterday Mom and I (mostly Mom) got a hook put up in my ceiling by the window (on the other side, opposite Peter), so I could hang my macrame double-plant hanger, and now Bella and Charlie are in it. They look really good, but we'll see how well they do in that particular spot. Bella was already starting to lose a leaf, so I fully expect that to continue to die off, but if CHARLIE starts to go downhill I am yoinking her out of there and back to her previous place on the shelves in the dining room SO FAST. Alpine can go in the hangar instead, or something. I do NOT want to lose Charlie.

I'm craving a popsicle but we're all out. I put them on the grocery list but I'll probably have to pay for them myself, even though Mom and Lee (especially Lee) will eat them too. They have really arbitrary rules over what I do and don't have to pay for when it comes to food. Like snacks and pop I pay for and I get that, but canned chili I don't have to pay for because it's "real food" while canned ravioli I DO have to pay for? Because I guess it's NOT "real food"? It makes no Goddamn sense. And then they wonder why I get frustrated over them nickel-and-diming me. Like I pay room and board here, that's supposed to cover my food, too. :/

I'm currently in this weird head space where there are lots of things I WANT to do and lots of things I WANT to work on, but I just can't get up the energy to actually DO them. Like I have the urges, but then in the end I just don't care. I want to work on Wiggly Foxes, for example, but when I start thinking about actually getting out the paints and brushes and WORKING ON THEM I just go... meh. Again with the depression, I guess.

But I've decided that I'm going to repaint 3 out of 4 of my orange-and-grey Wiggly Foxes. One is still going to have grey tips, but I'm going to paint the other three pink, red, and maybe blue? Just because they came with grey tips doesn't mean I can't paint over them, right? And I still need to finish my Rainbow Dash fox and my Starry Void fox, but those two remind me of Poe for obvious reasons so I'm just... not. Right now. I'll get to them at some point.

Still no word from Poe. I was really hoping they would be mature enough to handle this like an adult, but they're just ghosting me the same as last time. And that hurts, but... compared to this past winter it's practically nothing. I just keep hoping I'll wake up to an email from them and every morning it's just disappointment. I think they just can't deal with things like this and their instinctive reaction is to hide. I feel terrible thinking I caused them distress, and I wish we could talk it out and come to an amiable conclusion, but I guess that's not going to be the case.

I'm still planning on mailing them the things I promised them, anyway. The Loops, etc, in the middle of October, and their werewolf plush whenever it arrives, probably December or January some time. That's assuming they're still at the same address. I guess if I mail the Loops and they just bounce back to me, I'll know, since Poe won't reply to let me know about their address situation right now.

Current Mood: blah
Current Music: N/A

A couple of days ago I somehow ROYALLY buggered up my knee, and basically my whole left leg from the knee down hurt like FUCK, but especially the top of my foot for some reason? And only when I walked, when I STEPPED DOWN and put pressure on my leg. It wasn't sensitive to the touch or anything, it just hurt like fuck to WALK. And I was like, cool, you know, sounds like a plan, body, what else have you got for me? Luckily it only lasted a couple days, and this morning it's (mostly) back to normal with just some minor pain when I walk, which I hope will be completely gone in another day or two.

Next week Mom and I have to go back to the house in Baysville to haul furniture and boxes some more, and I think Mom plans to go twice in the week so that's going to suck but I guess it needs done so LET'S DO IT. It's just hard because of my back/hips/knees/wrists/hands/lungs BASICALLY MY WHOLE BODY, hauling heavy stuff up flights of stairs is like torture. But we have to get as much of it out to the garage as possible so that I know what's left to go to Dad's for storage there, since storage units are like $500/month now and I CANNOT afford that. :|

Last week when we were there we discovered that the mice that Grandma allowed to run rampant in the house for years had gotten into my couch and love seat so I had to throw those away. I have a chair down there still that I have to inspect but my hopes are not high for it, which SUCKS because it's the best chair EVER.

I have a lot of regrets in my life, but moving out of my last apartment and in with Grandma is one of the biggest ones. I was having mental health crises in that apartment, but if I had just stuck it out and gotten on the right meds it would have worked out and I could have stayed there. Then my stuff wouldn't be destroyed and I would have my own apartment, still. But I guess there's nothing I can do about it now, except wait for the subsidized housing people to get to me on the list, preferably some time this DECADE.

It's been twenty days since Poe last emailed me, other than to tell me that they couldn't email me for a while because of the whole mentioning TW thing. Sometimes I feel like our crazies match up, and other times I feel like they just look for excuses not to talk to me. I'm starting to wonder if we just weren't meant to be friends after all, considering all that's happened, even though we're basically the same person. I want to send them some Juna pics to cheer them up, but I don't know if that's allowed. I just don't know anymore. I just want them to be happy.

I still haven't gotten the wiggly foxes up on Etsy even though I said I was going to. I looked at the pictures I had taken and decided that I needed more of them, but then I've been procrastinating over actually DOING to pics, because I always do that, so they're just sitting here, staring at me.

I think I'm depressed right now and my motivation is just... not there for most things. I should be making candles, too, but I just... meh. I dunno, maybe I'll get out my candle stuff so I can make a couple later in the day when Jessie's room is closed up (that's where all my candle supplies are stored.) I really want to check the Dollarama for more of the super pretty Thanksgiving mugs to make into candles but I had to buy printer ink with my Trillium Benefit so I'm broke now until the end of the month unless I take money out of my jar again, which I shouldn't. Sucks.

I started writing three more Hijack one-shots last night, Switch, Paris and Violets Are Blue, all of which are Chemistry side-stories. I'm really enjoying writing Hijack in-and-around my SPN stuff lately, it's nice to get my head out of the Destiel for a while on occasion. I mean, I'm still working on Storm Season and When Lightning Strikes at the same time, and I also write a couple of blurbs for The House this morning, but, you know, variety is the spice of life and all that.

I really do want to write something for Valdemar soon, too. Maybe I'll finish Not Horses or Wander, or possibly Knowing? I don't know, I always have SO MANY Valdemar one-shot ideas it's hard to narrow it down to just one to work on. I'll figure it out, though.

Writing seems to be one thing I can still focus on despite the depression creeping back in, and I'm sure that's because of the ADHD meds. I think without them everything would just be me laying around thinking about the sweet embrace of death (again) and just generally being horrible. At least with the writing it gives me something to focus on and keep my mind of the CRUSHING DESPAIR, for part of the day, at least.

My Amazon cart currently has $145.09 worth of stuff in it, but to be fair there are 4 DVDs (Abigail, The Mitchell's VS The Machines, Sting & Kung Fu Panda 4) and two things of Halloween candy for next month, so it makes sense that it's that expensive. I can't pay for it until the 30th, and even then I might have to defer some of the stuff until my other government payments come in around the 15th of October. I also need to mail Poe's parcel when those come in, and the TINY PACKAGE is going to cost me like $118CAD WHAT THE EVER-LOVING FUCK.

Literally I remember mailing SUBSTANTIAL parcels to the UK back in the day and it costing me like $38CAD to do it, I have no freaking idea why everything is so much more expensive nowadays. INFLATION, MAN.

P.S. I did manage to get about 3 hours of sleep last night after all. I am freaking exhausted, obviously. Going to go get candle stuff and then have a nap, I think. Hopefully I can sleep for real this time. *fingers crossed*

EDIT: Also, Mercedes Lackey is running another kickstarter type thing for a deluxe leather-bound book of like 30 of her short stories and I want it SO BAD but it's $100USD and it ends in like 15 days so WAY before I'll have the money to pay for it. I hate when people run kickstarters (etc.) for really short periods of time, it means people like me who have to scrape together the money get left in the lurch. :(

Current Mood: tired
Current Music: N/A

I've been working on another RPNAU Hijack one-shot that's a Biology side-story, Coffee Break, last night and this morning so far. I really enjoyed writing Snowflakes And Dragons, it was a nice break from the ALL DESTIEL ALL THE TIME that's been going on in my brain lately. I mean, I'm going back to Storm Season et al as soon as I'm done Coffee Break, but still. *shrug*

I spent most of yesterday editing and collating Biology and then printing it and all it's side-fics out and putting them neatly in a binder for safekeeping. I've done the same thing with Horror High and all it's one-shots, and I need another binder to do the same for Storm Season and all IT'S one-shots. I also want to print hard copies of my Valdemar stuff at some point but literally I am going through SO MUCH paper and ink, I can't even explain. :|

.....

It's been two weeks now since I talked to Poe, with the exception of the email they sent me that said they couldn't talk to me right now because I stupidly mentioned Teen Wolf to them. I understand the trauma from that con, but I don't quite understand how that translates to me? Why can't they talk to ME just because I mentioned it? I guess because now they associate me with said trauma? idk, it's hard to understand unless you've been there, I suppose. I'm trying to be understanding and give them space, in any case, I just don't know how long it's going to be before we're talking again and that's frustrating. At the same time, it's probably no good on their end right now, either, so. Yeah.

Last night I woke up at 3am gasping for air, like wheezing and unable to breathe, and I have NO IDEA what is wrong with my lungs right now but they OBVIOUSLY aren't getting better. I need to talk to Dr. K about it, but my next appointment isn't until November because she said "two months" and the receptionist heard "almost four months" and I'm like. Something is really fucked up and I don't know what but we need to figure it out because I CANNOT BREATHE.

Now my lungs hurt and my back hurts and my diaphragm hurts from coughing overnight and I don't even know what to do anymore.

.....

I was looking at Castiel and Dean in the aquarium planters today and Cas is doing really well but Dean had a couple of dying leaves, and when I went to pluck them out I found out there were a couple of his vines that weren't even IN the water. *facepalm* So I tucked him in properly and we'll see how it goes.

I still need to unpot Sam and get all the dirt off his roots so I can put him in the aquarium, and I'm still growing Miles to a suitable Aquarium Size, because he is still itty-bitty. (Also considering re-naming him "Jack" since Mom stole my Jack vine and I like the idea of having all SPN plants in the aquarium.) But I think in the end Cas, Dean, Sam and Miles/Jack are going to be the only plants in the top of my planted aquarium, since I want to add a second fan on the right side of the tank and that will take up the space for the other two planters.

The seller on kijiji that I messaged about an axolotl never bothered to message me back, so I guess that's not happening. It's fine I'm still working on the tank anyway. :|

So far so good with Charlie, she seems to be liking her new digs. Not dying yet, so that's a plus because she was EXPENSIVE. The second pink princess philodendron leaf that I've been trying to propagate still hasn't died but also isn't... doing... anything?? So I dunno with that one. I've got it in soil now, we're gonna give that a try rather than the water propagation, so we'll see. If it does eventually take Mom is going to adopt it since I've got Charlie now, assuming Charlie survives.

I went to the Dollarama the other day because the last time I was in they had these really cute Thanksgiving mugs that said "Blessed" and "Thankful" etc. and I wanted to get some to make into candles to sell on FB Marketplace. But when I went in they had ONE mug left and I'm like OF COURSE. So I grabbed it and I'll go back later with the hope that they've restocked.

I plan to make a bunch of really cute Christmas mug candles, too, when Halloween is over and the Christmas stuff starts hitting the stores. Christmas mugs are always super adorable and cheap no matter what store you go to. I'm gonna run out of wax, though, since it takes so much to make a mug candle. :P But the thing is, a bag of wax is $35 and a mug candle goes for $25, so if I sell two or three I've made up for the wax, I just need to, yanno, SELL those two or three.

I really wish I could put them on Etsy, but the shipping would be ATROCIOUS and no one would want to pay it (and I don't blame them.) So FB Marketplace it is!

Oh, and I'm gearing up to post the first few of my Wiggly Foxes on Etsy, since the boxes for them came in the other day. I have all the pics and videos, I just need to do the actual, yanno, UPLOADING. :D;;

Current Mood: sore
Current Music: N/A

Getting ready to list some wiggly foxes on Etsy! <3

Current Mood: blah
Current Music: N/A

My meds are really kicking my ass this morning, like seriously. I've been dry heaving ever since I took them. At least it didn't start until they were out of my stomach so the pills themselves stayed down, but I feel like utter shit.

Doesn't help that I think Poe is ditching me again, and, again, didn't even bother to tell me, just did it. I feel DISPOSABLE and it sucks. I thought after last time they would at least give me a heads' up if they needed to get away from me, but no. Just radio silence. I'm being ghosted again. And it shouldn't hurt as much this time because I should have known better, but I trust to easily and too freely, even after being broken by a person in the past. You'd think I'd learn from my mistakes, but... I guess not. I'm going to try not to let this completely BREAK ME this time, though. It's all I can really do. Right now I just want to cry. I don't know what I did wrong this time.

I've decided that I'm going to pull all my VLOGs off YouTube. They were therapeutic when I made them but now I think they're too RAW and PERSONAL and I don't like them being on my YT for just anyone to see. I'm going to keep them for myself, though, and probably keep making new ones, too, but hopefully they won't be as BROKEN and HOPELESS as most of the ones that I did these past nine months.

I took pictures of a few wiggly foxes to post them on my Etsy, so I have to do that some time in the next day or two. The shipping boxes for them should arrive tomorrow (it was one-day shipping but I put the order in on Friday and it's a long weekend SO) and then I'll be set, and we'll see if they go over or not. My bet is probably not, considering how well my stuff has gone over so far, but I could be wrong. Here's hoping I'm wrong.

This afternoon Mom and I are going to Baysville to move the couch, love seat and big dresser out of the basement with my Uncle's help, since we can't do them just the two of us. There's still SO MUCH to move, and only like half of it is going to fit in the space I've got allocated. I don't know how much space Dad will manage to clear out for me, but I guarantee I've got more stuff for storing at his place than he thinks I do.

I just really wish they would get to my name on the subsidized housing list. The government keeps saying they're building more "affordable housing units" but even THAT is like $1200/month + utilities for a one bedroom apartment. I get literally $450/month toward rent. Even living HERE with Mom and Lee, I'm paying more than that, because they insisted on raising my rent a while back. But the cost of housing is ridiculous, and then they wonder why we have such a homeless problem. When even "affordable" housing is $1200 + utilities (and food, medications, etc.) a month, no wonder people end up on the streets.

I shouldn't bitch so much about living here, at least I've got a roof over my head. I'm lucky compared to some people.

I'm feeling numb right now and that's never a good sign. Today isn't going to be a good day, I can already tell. Hopefully we can get the Baysville stuff done quickly and get back home so I can marinate in my misery in peace.

Current Mood: numb
Current Music: N/A

Just got finished posting Chapter Eight of Horror High to AO3, Tumblr and Vanimadin. I never get anything off Vanimadin, but then again I don't expect to, and I usually get 5 or less likes for each chapter on Tumblr, but at least I can count the hits on AO3. The last couple of chapters I've gotten a few more reviews and they all basically amount to "this is a great fic, don't get discouraged by the lack of reviews, please keep it up!" Which is nice to hear. Maybe I'll get a couple more messages with Chapter Eight?

Either way I've fully committed myself to writing Storm Season now, after all my waffling before. I've already written like 167 pages of Horror High, plus 5 one-shots that average around 32-ish pages each that go BETWEEN Horror High and Storm Season, AND started a one-shot that goes AFTER Storm Season, so I figure... FUCK IT. STORM SEASON IT IS. I'm currently 39 pages in and going strong! lol. (I'm aiming for around 150 but I learned not to estimate when I was writing Horror High.)

Anyway.

Today my goal is to overhaul my Writing Master Post over on tumblr. It hasn't been updated in YEARS and I need to add a Supernatural section and reorganize the The Witcher section so it makes more sense. I'm HOPING to locate all my old graphics that I was using, but I get the feeling those are lost to the void, so I'm going to have to just make all new ones. It's kind of a pain but I guess it is what it is.

I also need to figure out what I'm going to do for my photoblogging for today because I am currently coming up blank. :|

Did I mention that I freaking hate air pumps. They're loud and buzzy and just really annoying, and now I have TWO of them running, one for my betta fish tank and one for the filter/air stone in the axolotl aquarium, and there's a good chance I'm going to need a THIRD because I'm seriously considering adding a second filter/air stone to the axolotl tank just to be sure. I mean I had 3 running in my room at one point for all the betta tanks, back when I still had Geralt and Yennifer, but I LOATHED THEM. L-O-A-T-H-E-D.

...I just took my morning pills and I can already tell this is going to be a bad day with the lithium. It makes me SO SICK for SO LONG after I take it, EXCEPT since I started taking the Vyvanse at the same time it's been a lot better?? Dr. K was baffled when I told her that at my last appointment, like why would the ADHD meds be affecting the lithium that way?? NO CLUE BUT I'M NOT COMPLAINING. I do still have some bad days when I end up really like, violently nauseous, though, and I think today might be one of those days. Boo.

I dug out one of my spare Cabbage Dogs last night, the ones I bought specifically to paint, since I finished Nonbinary Cabbage Dog the other day. I think this one is going to be a Pansexual Cabbage Dog? idk he's just staring at me from my work table right now seeming very pansexual to me. I'm going to try selling him on Etsy once I've finished him.

Still working on my Rainbow Dash wiggly fox; painting the entire tails of the wiggly foxes, and especially painting them rainbow, is a PROCESS. I learned that last time I painted a rainbow-tailed fox. It takes forever. But that reminds me, I do have five or six foxes already painted and ready to go that I could list on Etsy already. The problem is I have no boxes to ship them in? So I can't list them until I have the packaging material just in case. Not that I expect them to go fast or anything, my Etsy isn't exactly making bank. :|

I'm also partway through a Starry Void wiggly fox, I just have to actually paint his stars and touch up his ears a little bit. Poe requested him so I might send him to them when I'm done him rather than posting him for sale, but I haven't decided yet. I don't know if we're to the point of sending random gifts to one another yet or not, the copy of Tao Undead they sent me notwithstanding.

Speaking of Etsy and Poe, they had me go through all their button designs and pick out the ones I liked and then sent me the Photoshop files so I can order them to stock them in my shop as well. Then we're going to work out a percentage deal where they get, say, 10% of each button of theirs that I sell. I think it's a good plan and I like to collaborate with my friends, so I'm going to give it a go. I think they're still just... trying to make up for everything that happened back in the winter.

I think I've decided I'm going to download all my VLOGS from YouTube and then just delete them. Most of them, when I made them, were made strictly out of abject despair, and they're very raw and painful. I cry watching them even now. I don't regret MAKING them, at the time it was very cathartic to actually SAY THE WORDS OUT LOUD, even if it was just to myself, but I DO regret uploading them. It's a time in my life and a part of myself that I don't think I want out in my public YouTube anymore.

I'm considering selling Ishana. She's the doll that was originally supposed to be Katie, but when she came in I took one look at her and went "you're not Katie!" and immediately rebranded her. I like her well enough, but I haven't got the emotional connection with her that I have with (most of) my other dolls, I haven't bonded with her. Right now she's just kind of sitting around taking up space. I keep saying I'm going to do her faceup and then never getting around to it, and I doubt I ever will. So. Kijiji time? I think maybe. I can probably get $100 for her with her eyes, wig, clothes and shoes.

Poe never got back to me about the Finch Swap idea so I dunno if that's going to happen or not.

Also yes I am DEFINITELY having a bad, bad lithium day. I keep having to take breaks to go puke in the bathroom. There isn't even anything in my stomach so it's just horrible retching and dry heaving. :<

I need to take some aspirin because I'm having INTENSE gut pain atm but I don't know if I can keep it down. I think I'm just going to go lay down for a while. At least I got Horror High updated before everything went to pot. :|

Current Mood: sick
Current Music: N/A

I woke up today on my own sooooooo warm and perfectly comfortable and I just wanted to stay like that forever, but then my alarm went off like two minutes later and I just went "booooooooo." At least my alarm picked "Daylight" by Taylor Swift today, that's always nice to wake up to.

I'm probably going to be doing a lot of writing and/or watching movies today because I promised Mom that I would spend the day in the basement getting it cleaned up after the cats were DISGUSTINGLY sick all over it the last few weeks. There was no point in cleaning before this because it would just get gross again overnight, but now that everyone seems better again I can (probably) safely do it and not have all my work trashed two hours later.

It's just frustrating because I JUST cleaned all the basement floors and the furniture for Unit Inspection recently and I'm like... GDI cats, why you gotta?? (I know they don't do it on purpose, one of US probably tracked the flu-bug in on our shoes or something.)

So today is the floors (again), the furniture (again) and the basement blankets (again), and I figure while I'm at it I might as well do MY laundry and bedding, which is like four more loads because I have SO MUCH BEDDING lol I sleep in a nest. :D

Last time it took about... 5 hours? Probably about the same this time, maybe more with the bedding, but a lot of that is soaking the gross spots on the floor and just waiting around for them to soften up so I'll take Riptide down with me and watch movies/work on writing while I'm doing that, since the TV down there doesn't work anymore. (If it did I would be watching the crime network instead. Alas.)

Uhhh... currently 24 pages into Everything I Do and I'll probably get it finished and (possibly) edited today. It's shaping up to be around the same length as Counting Scars, so a little shorter than the other three, but that's FINE, it's still a respectable length. It's also got a lot of feels-y stuff in it that isn't in the others, stuff dealing with Dean's relationship with his dad and his feelings about his hometown and that kind of thing. Also that one cute scene I wanted to include in Cerulean Blue and ended up not being able to is in it, so there's that.

I need to go back and adjust the timeline for some of these fics because the first one (Cheap Motel) takes place seven months after Horror High, but then the next one (Counting Scars) takes place I think over two years later? And the rest are all crunched up together over the next two years. I need to more evenly space them out. It'll just take some little edits, though, so I'm not too worried about it. (Except then I'll have to print them all again and it's SO MUCH INK AND PAPER.)

Nonbinary Cabbage Dog is aaaaaaalmost finished now, I just have to touch up some spots on his ruff and fix his eyes because my hands were shaking when I was trying to paint them last night and one ended up wonky. Also I still need to paint his nose. :P

Poe was like "paint a void fox which is starry" and I was like OKAY so that's my next project after Rainbow Dash fox is complete.

Poe is... really good for me, and my creativity. And I love having them back, but I worry every day that I'm causing emotional harm to them in some manner like I did before. I want to ask them about it, but I'm genuinely afraid to, especially with how things have been going for them lately. So I'm just keeping my trap shut.

Anyway.

I made that candle yesterday evening but didn't do more than the one after all, and today I'm going to be super busy so I won't have time. But the one I did make turned out well, and it smells nice, it's sitting on my work table right now waiting to go back into the storage bin in Jessie's room once she's up for the day. Maybe I'll pull the stuff to make a couple more and see if I can eek out some time this afternoon in-between wash and dry cycles or something...

EDIT: I just realized Jessie is already up for the day and will be put to “bed” in like an hour and a half and my times are just completely screwed up in my head so I’m going to go get all the candle stuff like. Now.

Current Mood: bored
Current Music: N/A ("Daylight" by Taylor Swift in my head)

Poe asked for a fox painted like a MLP character, so I'm working on a Rainbow Dash fox! <3

Current Mood: artistic
Current Music: N/A

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Sena

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Sena's DW :: Watermelon Life

Stealthy and sinister on the inside.

Entries tagged with wiggly foxes

Biblical Flooding

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Family Christmas, et al

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FedEx, Yes!

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Photoblogging Day #96: Foxes

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Photoblogging Day #77: Dashie