Sena's DW :: Watermelon Life

Today I actually got around to editing Comfort Food, which was a FREAKING pain in the ass, God I hate editing so much but like it's something that's got to happen, I guess. Now Comfort Food is ready to be posted this coming Thursday, and I need to edit Something To Be Protected for the week after that, then FINALLY get around to editing Teeth for the week after THAT. Just basically SO MUCH EDITING. /SOB

I'm like 75% of the way through writing Baby, and I've started writing Supply And Demand, but I really need to work on Endling since it's now next in line (I ended up pushing Hunting Souls down father in the list after all.) But I've decided that after I post Nightingale, I'm going to drop my Every Thursday update schedule and just update as I finish fics because honestly, I love my SPN AU and everything, but I need to work on some other things for a bit because my brain is just... starting to burn out on SPN. I'm trying to keep writing it by easing back a bit and working on other stuff as well, because I love it so much, so I mean, fingers crossed for me!

What I really need to do is get back to writing TKA, after like four-and-a-half months of hiatus for various reasons. I'm SO CLOSE TO FINISHING IT and it's just EATING AT ME because I'm THAT CLOSE to having completely written an original novel, you know? So once I'm done my editing on Something To Be Protected and Teeth, I'm going to pull TKA back up and try to get it finished up. BUT THEN MORE EDITING. /SOBSOBSOB

One thing I AM considering is printing Horror High and Storm Season so I have actual book copies of them. There would be maybe four or five books in the set: Horror High, Horror High One-Shots, Storm Season and Storm Season One-Shots (possibly two volumes of those.) I wouldn't be selling them or anything, I would just have one copy of each printed for myself, you know? Ideally in hardcover, but I'm thinking of going with Lulu for printing and they don't offer hardcover as an option, as far as I can tell.

But to do this I need a cheap/free program for creating .pdf files because all the self-publishing sites work through .pdf and so far the Internet is just screaming ACROBAT at me, and that is NOT CHEAP OR FREE. I dunno, I'm still looking into it.

Come to think of it, I should have a copy of Biology printed for myself, too... .__. Hmm.

I should be working on writing, or at the very least EDITING, but I just CANNOT concentrate, which is a theme lately because my ADHD meds aren't doing their job anymore. I've built up a tolerance to my current dosage, so I need to get Dr. K to prescribe me a stronger one when I go in for my appointment next Thursday. I know it won't be a problem because I have a history and developing tolerances to my meds and needing them increased, usually several times until I reach a proper therapeutic level that my body accepts. By now Dr. K knows the drill, so she'll just ask a couple of questions and then send the 'script off to my pharmacy.

It's just been a long time waiting this time around because my Vyvanse stopped working properly in the first week (or so) of December and I've had to muddle through ever since then. Almost two months of static/bouncy ball brain again and I did NOT miss it. And Dr. K is NOT the kind of Doctor you can just call and make a next-day appointment for. You have to book your appointments MONTHS in advance to have any hope of seeing her. So. =/

I have managed to get a LITTLE writing done over the last couple months, though, as well as SOME editing, but not nearly enough. I was supposed to have all the post-Storm Season one-shots finished by the time I finished posting Storm Season itself, and I've only finished 7/20 and I just posted chapter 8/10 of Storm Season this morning. If I get on a better dose of Vyvanse, I might be able to write at least one one-shot a week after SS is done and keep up with my Thursday updating schedule, but I don't know. From where I'm sitting and how my brain is right now that feels like a lofty goal... but I also know how productive I can be when my ADHD meds are working properly, so I dunno. I guess we'll see.

In the meantime I've been watching a lot of shows and movies on the computer because that's where my brain is happiest when it's being all cat-scratchy, and I've watched all of the one whole season of Daybreak recently, which was entertaining but childish but I'm pretty sure it was aimed at teenagers. I also watched both seasons of Helix and LOVED THEM WHY DID THAT SHOW GET CANCELLED?? Then I watched the first season of Glitch, and couldn't decide if I liked it or not, so while I was figuring that out I watched In The Flesh and HOLY SHIT THAT WAS A FANTASTIC SHOW. WHY ARE ALL THE GREAT SHOWS CANCELLED AFTER A COUPLE SEASONS?? MORE IN THE FLESH NOW PLXKTHNX!! Aaaaaaand now I guess I'm going to try season 2 of Glitch and see if it does it for me or not. Honestly I still can't decide.

Oh, and I also watched some shark documentaries, and I have all of House M.D. and Fringe and the first four seasons of Fear The Walking Dead waiting in the wings. Ah! And the last season of AHS (Delicate) that I never got around to watching back when I was binging it in the spring!

So, yeah, just... watching SO MUCH TV. And that's not even counting the movies. But that's what I do when my brain feels disconnected from the rest of me, I just watch TV/movies and kind of half-focus on them because that's all I'm capable of. It's... frustrating. Because I know I should be working on things, getting things done, and also because my ADHD comes along with a RAGING 24/7 headache that no amount of painkillers will even TOUCH. I literally had a headache from 2013 until I went on the Vyvanse, so summer of 2024. ELEVEN YEARS OF A CONSTANT, POUNDING HEADACHE. And then it was miraculously gone when I started the ADHD meds. POOF! ...and now it's back and I DID NOT MISS IT.

.....

Also, I guess I have done a lot of brainstorming for various projects at least, but a lot of it is really disjointed and needs to be re-written so it makes more sense, though I'm sure there are some good ideas in there with the insane ramblings. Raps and everything about them for My Zombie is definitely good. I'm for sure going to be using that stuff. And some of the ideas for Endgame Girls, though some other ideas for Endgame Girls came from ADHD brain and it's OBVIOUS. :|

Unfortunately my ADHD started acting up like 3/4 of the way through writing TKA and since then TKA has just been sitting around collecting dust, with the exception of me writing a sentence and-and-there. I had hoped to have it finished and first-round edited by the end of December, but obviously that didn't happen. The plan was also to have started on my next Original Project by now, either Freefall or My Zombie, but again, obviously that didn't happen, though I think I have finally decided that I AM going to go with My Zombie next. Not that I don't have the storyline down for Freefall, but I have more character and world stuff fleshed out for My Zombie, and also My Zombie has been waiting around longer, so it should have it's chance.

Also pretty sure I'm going to be writing it in the 3rd person after all, even though all this time I thought it was going to be 1st person from Riley's POV. But I keep wavering on that, so I guess we'll see.

Last night was New Year's Eve, so I guess Happy 2025, everyone. I'm just hoping that this year is better than 2024 was. 2024 wasn't my favorite. 2025 isn't starting off the best, but it isn't starting off terribly either, so I guess there's that. Mostly I'm just worried about Poe again because they deleted their Insta (again) and that means they're going through a bad time. They always delete their social media when they're going through a bad time. I just wish they'd talk to me, just a little. Maybe we could work things out a bit and I could stop feeling so guilty. That's selfish of me, isn't it?

Probably...

I'm on to coconut milk in my testing of all the various milks. I've moved through soy and almond and still have oat to go. So far I like them all, and the Silk brand is the best, I think, but I can't afford to BUY the Silk brand in the quantities I need, so I have to get it from Costco and buy Kirkland brand which isn't nearly as good. I guess the Next milk is tolerable and they sell that in bulk at Costco, though, so I might be stuck with that. I dunno. I'll figure it out.

Last night I gave the birds their holiday treat sticks. Normally I give our treats on Christmas Day, but I only had one honey stick left so I had to order more and they just came in yesterday, so they became New Year's treats instead. I guess it doesn't really matter either way, the birds don't know the difference, so it's fine. They'll enjoy them all the same. (But they flapped around like idiots when I reached into the cages, as usual.)

Yesterday I finished watching the first season of The Walking Dead: Dead City and thoroughly enjoyed it (mostly because Jeffrey Dean Morgan as Negan) and I'm looking forward to the next season. Now I'm watching The Walking Dead: The Ones Who Live and Rick is the most frustrating version of himself EVER in it like COME ON ALREADY but otherwise it's pretty decent. I also have The Walking Dead: The World Beyond seasons 1 & 2 to watch after this. And the first 3 seasons of Fear The Walking Dead on DVD.

I woke up early this morning and started painting some picture frames that I'll eventually add stickers to for decoration. Right now they're just base white (mostly) so I can paint colors of over them more easily, but eventually they'll be colorful and quirky because that's how I like my picture frames. One is for a pic of Mom, my little brother and I from when we were tiny babbies, another is for a pic of me and my little brother from when I was maybe 6 and he was 4, the third is for the Halloween pic of us from when we were little and I was a crayon for Halloween and he was a Ghostbuster, and the last is for a pic of me and all eight of my cats from when I was living with my brother briefly a few years ago. I ordered stickers off AliExpress haha.

Still waiting on Wren!doll to ship, but I ordered her with the custom face-up so I guess it'll take a couple of days. I'm impatient but not actually worried about anything yet. Her wigs and the shirt and skirt/corset combo that I ordered for her have shipped, though, so that's good.

I decided I wanted a copy of Cooties on DVD and found a cheap copy on ebay so that should arrive in February, along with Winnie The Pooh: Blood And Honey 2 and Inside Out 2. Yesterday my copies of Imaginary, Don't Breathe 2 and The Watchers came in, along with my folding shovel for my bug-out bag and my thermal tights, also for my bug-out bag. And of course budgie treats.

Last night I got Mom to help me figure out all the features on my folding buck knife... it's like a Swiss army knife on steroids, I'm somewhat in love with it. It's also for my bug-out bag.

I really wish I had my own apartment, though, so I could prep properly. Water stores and shelves of canned food and rice and stuff like that. But the affordable housing people aren't in any hurry to give me a place, apparently, because I've been on the list for YEARS and so far nada. It's frustrating (especially because of the stupid fucking time limit on the storage of my belongings, too.)

I'm actually working on Temper Tantrums right now, but possibly only because I decided to add in a smut scene after all. I'm also working on Echoes a little. I SHOULD be working on TKA but like, tomorrow I'm posting Chapter 5 of Storm Season and I'm trying to get as many of the post-SS one-shots finished as possible before I'm done posting it. So I keep writing Destiel instead of Taidan and like... it's not good, really. Original stuff should take priority, especially now. Though my ADHD meds definitely needs tweaking, right now...

Also, I didn't get my baking and stuff done yesterday so like. Maybe today? I feel mildly better today.

So, I conceptualized Wayward Daughters and ever since then I have been working on it to the exclusion of basically everything else, even though it's #28 in the post-SS one-shots and I REALLY should be working on ones closer to the beginning like I mean?? BRAIN WHY?? Anyway, I finished it tonight and it came in at 16,714 words and 36 pages long, and does NOT have a happy ending. The beginning of Halcyon Days is going to have to be rewritten because of it, but that's okay I was never really a giant fan of how Halcyon Days started off, anyway. :P

Now that I've got Wayward Daughters out of my brain the plan is to work on TKA some more, at least 10,000 words before I switch to something else again. I really want to get TKA finished so I can focus on finishing the Storm Season one-shots and then move on to Freefall or My Zombie or maybe Sundown Valley, just something original again. idk maybe I'll just try writing a short story for once? I feel like that's something I could do, now?

.....

I did like a SUPER deep-clean of the axolotl tank yesterday and fucked my back doing it, but it was worth it everything looks so nice and clean now. I took all the hides out and then let the gunk settle again before suctioning the tank. I also cleaned the filters and did a couple of buckets worth of water change, which I can do now that I have dechlorination tablets. Also means I can get rid of one of the buckets that was taking up space.

Kaida, Haku and Ryuu were NOT happy while there were no hides and I was suctioning, though. At one point Kaida was literally climbing a plant. But they seemed MUCH happier with things once I was done, so that made it better, and I gave them wormies for dinner, which they always really like.

.....

I made three bracelets (the other three in the set for my brother for Christmas) and three necklaces yesterday, but I can't actually FINISH the necklaces because I can't fucking FIND my necklace tabs, so I had to order new ones off Amazon and they won't be here until the 11th, which is a pain. I was hoping they would come in next day like most Amazon stuff. Then again it's probably a moot point because between now and then I'll probably find the tabs I already HAVE. That's the way it always works, right?

Clearly I need a new organization system for my jewelry stuff. :|

Right. Well. After I reached 50k on TKA I was SUPPOSED to take like a one or two day break and then get back at it, but it is day ELEVEN now and I JUST started writing TKA again now. *FACEPALM* After the first couple of days of my brain being MUSH I DID get back to writing, just... not TKA. I worked on SPN fanfic stuff instead, which, like, PRIORITIES?? BUT today's TKA session went well, it was about 2.5k long (ish) and I think I might finally be back at it! I just really want to get TKA finished so I can move on to the editing part.

I've been working on Temper Tantrums in the post-SS one-shots, and also Hunting Souls, and also Wayward Daughters, which is a new one that I just added to the roster. It's up to 30 freaking fics now and I'm hoping to keep it there because that is out of control. :|

I've been working on Wiggly Foxes a lot lately, especially the family of them that I'm making for my brother for Christmas. They're blue with pink tails and white accents. I'm also making a set of bracelets for him for Christmas but I need the bails and charms and I ordered them today, and the bails will be here tomorrow, but the charms won't be here until December 9->19 so that SUCKS. I can make the bracelets and then attach the charms after, but I'm super worried about the postal strike right now so??? The stupid thing is I KNOW I have some suitable charms around here, I just can't FREAKING FIND THEM. >:[

Today I have to make banana bread because I've been saying I'm going to make it for like a week now. Also bread pudding. But first I'm taking a nap because I woke up at 4am this morning and couldn't get back to sleep because NATURALLY. *eyeroll*

I'm hoping to FedEX Sethi's parcel to her and her family FINALLY this weekend. And also send Cassandra-san her little package, too. Turns out FedEX is actually pretty affordable if you don't mind it taking three whole days to get there. To the States, anyway, I'm not sure about the Philippines, I still have to get an estimate for that one.

Anyway, yeah. Not much to talk about today. More to talk about tomorrow when my Amazon parcel comes in. Cya.

This morning I wrote a 6-page Taidan smut scene that will never see the light of day because TKA is aimed at YA audiences. It was somehow both really satisfying to write, and also felt pointless, so it was like... well, I've done that now I guess. I'll just tuck it in the back of the TKA binder For My Eyes Only and be happy with that. I guess I just felt that after everything Tyler and Aidan have been through they deserved to enjoy each other properly. *shrug*

This morning I also added six new projects to my NaNo profile, all of them Valdemar and all of them with over a year for a Complete By date: Brothers At Arms, Marionette and Fallout (all chaptered) as well as Wander, Not Horses and Graceless (which are all one-shots. I think. Sometimes these things have a way of getting away from me haha.)

That's about all I've done this morning, even though I woke up at 5am. I just watched/listened to Dr. Mike Reacts videos and working intermittently on wiggly foxes. I'm almost done my Christmas one (Holly) and the first (test) one of the bunch that I'm doing for my brother for Christmas. Oh, and I did another coat of glow-in-the-dark paint on the green fox, too. I still need to do the GITD paint on the blue one, too. And my ENTIRE idea for my belated Halloween one (Candy Corn) has been revamped, so now I have to... not start from SCRATCH, really, but change some stuff, which is a pain. :P

Last night I took the axolotl tank apart and cleaned it out thoroughly, and while Kaida freaked out a little and was Not Pleased, Haku and Ryuu like FREAKED OUT because it was their first time dealing with it. They hid FOREVER after ward. I think Haku might STILL be hiding, though I saw Kaida and Ryuu out this morning around breakfast time.

The only problem was the tank was extra dirty this time (I was a day late cleaning it), and taking everything out so I could vacuum it out stirred everything up into the water, so after I was done cleaning and put all the hides back into the tank, all the floating particulates sank back down and coated the bottom again. NOT as bad as before, but still. I was like BOO. I guess I'll clean it again tonight and try to get it up to par again. I also have to take the sponges off the filters and clean them out as well.

Yep, life as a 'lotl Mom. :D

This afternoon I think I'm going to make some bread pudding, since we've had the milk to make it in the house for like two weeks now and I found the recipe when I was organizing my recipes binder the other day before I baked cookies. Also, we have a MILLION bread crusts taking up room in the back of the fridge right now, so if I can get some of them used up that's good. I also kind of want to make banana bread, too, though, so idk idk idk I'll figure it out.

I keep periodically emailing Poe but never get a reply, and I've been keeping an eye on them on Insta, and they deleted their Insta a little while back, I probably mentioned it here. They do that when they're going through a hard time, just delete all their social media, so I was worried, but a couple days ago they popped back up on Insta again. And apparently they're having computer problems (as in: they don't have one atm), so that could possibly be part of why they haven't replied to my last handful of emails, because I know they don't do email on their phone. So, I left them a message on Insta.

I guess we'll see if that flies or not, but I'm not getting my hopes up anymore.

Oh, and last night I watched Red One and I THOROUGHLY enjoyed it, except that Chris Exans character didn't join Santa's secret security at the end of the movie. I was like booooooo at that because I felt that was the natural progression. But oh well! Otherwise it was a really good movie, even if it did suffer terribly from being a Christmas film. XD

Basically, what happened yesterday is, I punched in my last update that took me over the 50,000 word mark and the NaNo website rained confetti on me and my brain just... died. Like, it immediately fell asleep and even though I was sitting there planning on writing more because TKA isn't DONE, it just refused to cooperate. I think 50,000 words in 15 days was too much for my already OCD/ADHD/Bi-Polar riddled brain and it just needed to rest a while and take a break from TKA.

So last night I just kind of blearily watched some episodes of The Winchesters which I think I'm going to NOPE tf right out of after four episodes because they do not follow established SPN canon AT ALL for ANYTHING and I am not down with that. Also the lead actors playing John and Mary are not very good at their jobs and I don't like them. But mostly the canon stuff. If you're going to do a series BASED ON AN EXISTING SERIES maybe adhere to it's canon, yeah? Like. Fuck me. (I wish they'd done a SEQUEL instead of a PREQUEL.)

ANYWAY. Uhm, in Axolotl Town things are chugging along. Haku and Ryuu are settling in really well (Ryuu is more outgoing and Haku is more shy so far) and eating well, and Ryuu has pretty much taken over the big teracotta pot so I need to get another one of those for the other side of the tank next time I'm at the dollar store/have money. Kaida is... not a happy camper. He's doing a lot of hiding and sulking, but he's still eating so that's a good sign at least. He's just (very slowly) getting used to sharing his tank with other 'lotls again like when he was little(r.) But there's been no in-fighting or anything, to my knowledge, so I think it's going pretty well.

It's a (frustrating) constant game of Spot The Axolotl right now because they're in such a big tank with no many hidey spots. You can usually find Ryuu pretty easily, but Haku and Kaida? They vanish into the ether. It's like, I know they're IN THERE, but WHERE in there? A MYSTERY. (I have to deep clean the tank tonight so that'll get them all out in the open... ish... at least!)

Today I want to work on TKA some more because there's still SO FAR to go with it, but I'm not sure if my brain is up to writing quite yet. It still feels pretty mushy in my head this morning, even after a... well, it wasn't a GOOD night's sleep, I haven't been sleeping well lately, but it was a night's sleep of some kind at the very least. So I'm going to give it a go, but if I end up just staring blankly at the screen for an endless span of time instead I won't be like, SHOCKED.

After TKA is finished, I want to write Freefall, and maybe My Zombie. Both of those are pretty firmly stuck in my brain right now. And if all the word editors would stop telling me that "freefall" isn't a word that would be GREAT because FUCK YOU IT IS NOW I DECLARE IT, IT IS SO. I'm also going to be working on post-SS one-shots, of course, of which I am up to... 22? I believe? Since I added Stalactites (not to be confused with "Stalagmites" which is not longer a thing) and Dreamcatcher. So because my brain works in patterns of fives, I need at least three more or it'll drive me INSANE. But basically:

-STORM SEASON
-When Lightning Strikes (complete)
-Ghost In The Machine (complete)
-Pinfeathers (complete)
-Teeth
-Nightingale (complete)
-Temper Tantrums
-Hunting Souls
-Shrike
-Echoes
-Day Drinking
-Mockingbird
-Crawlspace
-Kindling
-What Angels Dream
-Run. Hide. Die.
-Hollow Things
-The Desert Tide
-Sudden Cardiac Arrest
-Stalactites
-Dreamcatcher
-
-
-
-Halcyon Days
-Serendipity

Yeah this entire series got completely out of control on me and I have no idea what happened but I'm not really COMPLAINING I'm just like... yikes. :| Especially since I'm just writing them basically for myself, the whole HH et al series doesn't have much of a following AT ALL. (There are a handful of people who do follow it, though, and I love every one of them!)

idk maybe I'll work on some SPN stuff this morning instead of TKA just for a change of pace. Maybe my brain would like that more?

Anyhoo, this afternoon/evening I want to make some cookies from the recipe I (FINALLY) got off Lois, since Lee picked up mini chocolate chips when he did groceries yesterday and I'm pretty sure we have all the rest of the stuff for it, oats, unsweetened coconut, flour, eggs, etc. I am SO JAZZED to have this recipe FINALLY after DECADES of asking for it. She kept it really under wraps for a long time, but I guess she's getting older now so she figures why not? I dunno. Either way, COOKIES TONIGHT.

...I have a cough. I've had it for months, but it's been getting worse lately. I think it's a side-effect of my Breztri inhaler, which doesn't even work for me anyway so why am I taking it?? I'm so freaking TIRED of my lungs getting worse and worse and not being able to breathe, and then all the tests coming back that there's nothing wrong with them. It's been like that since 2019 and the first time I had Covid. I just want to be able to BREATHE again, is that so much to ask? Then again, there's a lot of things about my health that are JACKED and I would like to have go away/get fixed but it doesn't look like it's going to happen any time soon. My liver and the NAFLD situation are just the newest in a long line of bullshit.

And finally. Poe is back up on Insta again, and posting about a short film that's being made from one of their short stories, they seem excited and I'm SO proud of them. They deserve nice, good things in their life like that. I really hope it works out for them and turns out good. It's nice to be happy for them for a change.

Just a brief writing/NaNo/TKA update because I'm tired today and don't feel up to a whole huge long journal entry. Also, I need a nap. :|

I'm up to 90 pages and 43,679 words on TKA and it isn't quiiiiite the middle of the month yet. I'm hoping to break the NaNo 50,000 word goal in the next day or two. The NaNo website got really excited when I got over 40,000 words and gave me a badge for reaching the 80% mark. Joke's on them, this book is going to be AT LEAST 80,000 words long in the end. So I'm more like 50% there, maybe.

I woke up this morning to my brain introducing me to Jaymie Cunningham, the newest member of the TKA cast TO JOIN IT HALFWAY THOUGH. *FACEPALM* New Brain insisted that Tyler needed a confidant other than Katie and a love interest other than Aidan, even though in the end it's Taidan all the way and it turns out Jaymie is actually in a seriously committed relationship with a fireman at another house anyway.

At least with the way I write, in scenes here-and-there, adding her in will be relatively easy. I wrote a scene with her earlier today (basically her last scene chronologically) and I guess I don't mind her as a character. She's another paramedic in the One-Ten, Sydney's partner, so she and Tyler work together.

Anyway, so basically things are going well but my brain insists on throwing me curve balls and I'm like. STOP THAT.

WHEN I first got Kaida, he had a wild-type coloration to his head and a lavender-type coloration to his body and he was really quirky and unique, which was why I chose him. But as he's GROWN, his COLOR has changed, darker and darker until now he's like... black with darker black spots and purple gills, which the Interwebs tells me is a variation of a melanistic axolotl! THIS IS VERY COOL! I WANTED a melanistic axolotl, but I couldn't FIND one so I went with the next best (cutest) thing, and then I ended up with a melanistic one after all! :D

The two that I'm picking up today are (I'm pretty sure) both just wild-types, which is the most common coloration, I believe, but that's fine with me! I'm not picky when it comes to 'lotls! (Except I would love a leucistic one lmao but that seems to not be in the cards, at least not right now.)

Last night I did a Deep Clean of the axolotl tank in anticipation of the new arrivals today and Kaida was SO. MAD AT ME. But he was last time, too. And I moved some stuff around a bit which doesn't help matters, and took one of the smaller hides out that isn't really big enough anymore. He was huffy all night. Soon I'm going to have to get another big hide, though, and take out the little terracotta pots because he's outgrowing them and his siblings will be about the same size.

ALSO. I have tentatively decided to try the worm thing again. Feeding pellets to THREE axolotls is going to get expensive. And also, they need to stay used to eating worms at least occasionally so when they're full grown they recognize them as, you know, FOOD. So. Worms again. Which absolutely makes my skin crawl just thinking about cutting them up, but it is what it is I guess. Eventually they'll be big enough so just eat them whole. JUST KEEP THE FUTURE IN SIGHT, SENA. YOU CAN DO THIS.

In NON-axolotl related news, I finished just over 2,000 words on TKA today so I'm on track even though the rest of the day is going to be busy. I'm hoping I can bust out another 2,500 or so tonight after I feed the cats and put them to bed. I'm up to 35,276 words total right now, which is FANTASTIC for the 12th of the month. I might actually beat the NaNo this year (for the first time!!) TOUCH WOOD!!

But even if I beat the NANO, TKA probably isn't going to be FINISHED by the 30th, since I'm aiming for 80,000-ish words for the completed project. So I'll still have work to do, but I'll have a HELL of a good start on it! :D

This morning I racked up over 5,000 words for TKA, so now I've clocked 45 pages and 21,082 words in just 8 days which is amaaaaaazing for me and the NaNo. I might manage to go over the 50,000 words before the end of the month, which is GREAT because I'm aiming for 80,000-ish words for TKA in the end.

I'm jumping around scenes and sections of the story the same way I wrote Horror High and Storm Season and that seems to be working really well for me. It somewhat gives me mental whiplash at times, though, jumping from scene-to-scene, especially when it's like a really serious or depressing scene and then jumping to a really fluffy or happy scene. I just did that recently and it was like... whoa. But at the same time, going to writing depressing shit to lighthearted stuff can be really good for me, mentally, too, it's like a lil vacation for my mind.

I am starting to get a little worried that there's too much dialogue and not enough descriptive text so far, but I have a long way to go, so hopefully I can turn that around. Plus there's always the editing phase, which is a whole 'nother ballywhack. :|

In regards to post-Storm Season stuff, I started working on Echoes a bit yesterday (Destiel porn so far lmao), and I think I want to work on Kindling some, but for some reason I am AVOIDING Teeth even though it's the next one I should be working on. Technically I already skipped it to write Nightingale. Anyway, I also changed the title of "Stalagmites" to "Serendipity", which I like better and I think suits the fic better as well. *shrug*

Today Mom took me out to Walmart and I got a gift card for Lois for Christmas, so tomorrow I'm going to wrap everything for Dad and Lois up and bake a batch of shortbread cookies for them so I can deliver their Christmas stuff on Sunday when we go down to take my stuff for storage. I need to go through the boxes in the basement for some big enough for a couple of the things, and dig out the Christmas wrap that's under my bed since the rest of it is all in the garage still, we haven't brought it in yet. But yeah, that's the plan.

Kaida is getting huge. He's maybe half the size of an adult axolotl? Maybe? Give or take, anyway. It's getting harder for him to find places to hide in the tank and he doesn't seem to feel the NEED to hide as much, but he still manages it from time to time. Mostly he just hangs out in the food drop zone, which is hilarious to me. He's not stupid!

Mom and I are going to Elmvale on Tuesday to pick up two other 'lotls from the woman I got Kaida from originally. I'm going to name one "Haku" but I haven't decided on the other, I kind of want to go with "Tatsuya" to keep the Japanese Dragon Naming Theme, but I also like the name "Falcor", so?? Yeah, I'll PROBABLY go with Tatsuya ("Tatsu" for short), but I'll decide for sure once they've been in the tank for a couple of days and I get to know them a little better.

The woman I'm getting them from says they're not so much like "underwater bunnies" as some people say, though, so if one of them turns out to be the opposite gender I don't have to panic. Apparently her boyfriend has had a mixed tank for YEARS and only had eggs like twice. And if you just scoop them out and discard them, it's no big deal. So I mean... there's that.

I've been working on tons of wiggly foxes right now, the batch that I was working on originally that's almost done as well as a set of four for Trunks for Christmas, a black-and-orange one, a Christmas one and a belated Halloween one with a candy corn tail. Plus the Rainbow Dash and starry void ones that Poe suggested that I'm avoiding because reasons.

I need to take my finished wigglies out to Mom's car to take pics of them hanging from the rear view mirror for my Etsy listings. Apparently any listings that have less than two pics they don't show in searches anymore, so it's like... I need more photos, and I don't really have any other ideas besides the rear view mirror one. Maybe some on the Christmas tree once we put it up? idek. I'm not good at this whole Etsy thing.

Yesterday my monstera clipping came in the mail. I paid the extra dollar and got a rooted clipping, and the seller sent me an extra clipping as well, so that was nice. I need to leave a good review for them ASAP. Anyway, I planted them and assuming they take properly, one (new!Castiel) is eventually going into the aquarium while I think I'll see if Mom wants the other one. She might like it, it's like a swiss cheese monstera or whatever so it's neat. Otherwise I'll keep both of them.

.....

I tried emailing Poe again the other day and they still won't email me back. I don't know why they have to be this way, but the more this goes on the more I think I actually AM better off without them, after all. And thinking that hurts like hell because they were somehow the best friend I've ever had despite the neglect and abuse. So, what does that say about me and my friendships, really? It's a sad state of affairs.

I am still, somehow, miraculously, ahead on my TKA NaNo project (30 pages and 13,716 words) and I am ECSTATIC OVER THIS but also still somewhat waiting for the other shoe to drop like?? o__o;; Anyway, today Mom and I are going up to Baysville for our last run there for moving stuff, so I likely won't get much done today BUT YESTERDAY AND THE DAY BEFORE I wrote DOUBLE what I needed to (1,667 words is the minimum each day), PLUS I've been working on other stuff as well. SO.

Yesterday I finished Nightingale which is, I'm not gonna lie here, like 95% porn. IT'S ABOUT A SUCCUBUS "HUNT" WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME? And apparently even angels are subject to their sway. Poor Dean and Cas, seriously, they get their steps in, so to speak. Sam just gets laid like... half a time and it's with a monster so it doesn't really count. XD;; Anyway, like there is smut in most of the Horror High/Storm Season series but Nightingale really takes the cake. And as usual I just wrote it totally straight-faced and unaffected honestly being ace is so weird sometimes.

ALSO. The post-SS fic count has gone up. Again. I have just stopped numbering Halcyon Days and Stalagmites because I keep having to re-number them to make room for more fics, since they're the last two. *facepalm* So basically the post-SS breakdown goes like this now:

1) When Lightning Strikes (elemental/demons)
2) Ghost In The Machine (ghost)
3) Pinfeathers (no monster)
4) Teeth (tooth fairy)
5) Nightingale (succubus)
6) Temper Tantrums (poltergeist)
7) Hunting Souls (demons/hellhounds)
8) Shrike (uh... "shrike")
9) Echoes (witchcraft?)
10) Day Drinking (ghouls)
11) Mockingbird (uh... "mockingbird")
12) Crawlspace (ghost... ish thing)
13) Kindling (nightmare)
14) What Angels Dream (djinn)
15) Run. Hide. Die. (hydra)
16) Hollow Things (RABID WEREWOLVES)
17) The Desert Tide (kelpies)
Halcyon Days (vampires at the very end)
Stalagmites (no monster)

AND PROBABLY MORE THIS SERIES IS GOING TO FOLLOW ME UNTIL I DIE. (But no seriously, if I do ONE MORE it'll take it to an even twenty and my brain likes twenty because it is a multiple of five, so maybe I can just do that?? Then again, if that was the case, what happened to FIVE and TEN and FIFTEEN??) idk just this entire series has gotten away from me and I have to rein it in somehow or I'm going to be writing it FOREVER. :|

Anyway, I skipped over Teeth to write Nightingale (which came in a little short for one of these one-shots at 26 pages and 12,226 words), so next I need to go back to writing Teeth. I'm about 22 pages and 9,945 words into it, but I still have a ways to go before it'll be done. Plus I'm working on TKA at the same time, so splitting my time means the post-SS one-shots are getting done slower than they normally would be, but I have until like halfway through February before I have to start posting them, and I'm already done the first three (though Ghost In The Machine and Pinfeathers need editing still), so I'm ahead of the game, there. *shrug*

I have a Pinterest board for the HH/SS/etc series now, but I'm not organizing it, it's just pins related to the whole expansive series in one big lump. Still, it's something. I just REALLY recently got into Pinterest and I'm finding it SUPER helpful in visualization of my projects. I have a TKA board, too, and one for Freefall, and one for Where Monsters Come From, and the beginning of one for Pelts For Pounds, the next book in the TKA series. Yeah, I've been making use of it. But it can also eat up a shocking amount of time, like you get lost in Pinterest and the next thing you know it's been two hours and you're like "what just happened" so I have to be very aware of that when I go to tinker with pins.

.....

Today when we get back from Baysville I need to remember to get out my glue gun and fix the wreath on the front door. One of the pumpkins fell off it about a month ago and I just haven't gotten around to fixing it, but I need to do it before it's time to put it away and get out the Christmas one, so some time soon. Hopefully I'll remember this afternoon.

Kaida is doing well, and seems to like his new hide and all the new plants that give him hidey-holes to hunker down it. But he's also taken to sleeping RIGHT out in the open in the area where I feed him (which makes sense, he's just waiting for the inevitable incoming foodz) which meant a couple days ago I dropped his pellets in and they landed ON HIM and scared the bejeezes out of him and he went ZOOMING off. I laughed so hard. I mean, I'm sorry, buddy, but if you're going to sleep IN THE DROP ZONE, expect INCOMING FOOD. XD;; Silly thing.

I have to clean his tank out this afternoon, like a really deep clean, and he's not going to like it but it needs to be done. And there's a buildup of ick on the glass that I can get off the FRONT, because I have a magnetic glass cleaner there, but I can't really get to the sides or back because I can't reach and also because Dean and Sam are in the way. =/ I'll have to problem solve this pretty quick before Kaida's tank becomes a cesspool.

The woman I got Kaida from still hasn't messaged me back about getting a second axolotl from her, and I'm kind of going... you know... if you don't have any left, that's fine, just please send me a quick email to let me know at least? Because I'm kind of left hanging, here. I'm going to message her again today and see if she replies this time, and if not then I'll just assume she hasn't got any more axolotls and put the money toward something else. *shrug* It's going to be a pain trying to find another 'lotl the same size as Kaida in the future, but I mean. It is what it is, I guess. Mom didn't want to drive to Elmvale again, anyway.

This coming Sunday Mom and I (and probably Lee) are driving down to Georgetown with the last of my storage stuff to pack it away in the barn at Dad's place. Literally, I TOLD EVERYONE that all my stuff wasn't going to fit in the 10'x12' shed my Uncle was building but no one would believe me, and now we have possibly TWO SUVfulls of stuff to take to Georgetown, and that's AFTER throwing out my couch and my love seat because of the mice. =/

It'll be nice to see Dad and (hopefully) Lois again, though, and I'm hoping to take their Christmas presents down with me when we go, too, to get that out of the way. I still need to buy a gift card for Lois, though, which might have to wait, so I might not be able to do it after all. I think it'll depend on the whole axolotl situation.

I DO plan on buying them tea at the Tim Horton's around the corner from their place, though, because this is a BIG ASK and the least I can do is buy some freaking tea for them, right? Also coffee for Mom and a pop for Lee (if he comes; Mom has high hopes that we can fit everything into one vehicle which like PFFT NOT GONNA HAPPEN but whatever.) But yes, just generally drinks for everyone involved. :|

EDIT: Ang, the lady I got Kaida from, got back to me finally! (She was out of town/cell phone range.) So next week Mom and I are going back to Elmvale to hopefully pick up a friend for Kaida! "Hopefully" because if the 'lotls she has left are all girls I'm BONED. BUT she also offered me a second FREE 'LOTL because she's having so much trouble finding good homes for them, so if they are both boys I will have THREE of them come this time next week! So exciting!!

Today I woke up at 8:45am and I was like WHAT THE FUCK WHY DIDN'T MY ALARM GO OFF because it's set for 8:30am. So I like rushed downstairs to feed the cats (late) and then came upstairs to take my pills (late) and feed Kaida and Delta and wake up the birbs (late), and then turned on my computer... only to discover that last night was Daylight Savings Time and the clocks went back an hour, just not my bedside clock because it's a little battery-powered thing. *FACEPALM*

BUT. Since I was up EARLY, I got my NaNo writing finished for today (YAY!) and I might even write more later (MORE YAY!) and also wrote a bit of Nightingale because I can't escape that SPN AU like literally it is my LIFE right now. But yes, three days in and I am good for the NaNo so that's a good start, right? I CAN DO THIS RIGHT??

Yesterday my brother was over and he asked me for something specific for Christmas (matching custom bracelets for him and his family) and I was like YES I CAN ABSOLUTELY DO THAT but now I can't find my FREAKING wolf charms and I have looked EVERYWHERE I have NO IDEA WHERE THEY'VE VANISHED TO WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK. So I guess I have to order more and hope they come in in time. At least they aren't expensive. :|

It's the first day of the NaNo for 2024 and I can't even work on it because Mom and I are going to Baysville to slug boxes all afternoon. Boo. Luckily I already had 4,526 words written ahead of time so I was able to update my word count anyway. Cheating, I know, but you do what you have to do. :P

Also I already broke my promise to work on nothing but TKA this month by tak tak takking out a few paragraphs of Nightingale this morning while I wait for my pills to stop kicking my ass so I can get ready to go out around 11am. Basically Nightingale is like 90% porn (the monster is a succubus), so I have no excuse, but like. Smut, man.

I'm hoping to get some more TKA written tonight after we get back from Baysville, though, and then aside from maybe another Baysville trip later and an appointment with Dr. K on the 25th (I think), I should be good to buckle down and just fucking. WRITE TKA.

OH. AND ANOTHER TRIP TO ELMVALE FOR ANOTHER AXOLOTL, I THINK I HAVE MOM TENTATIVELY ON BOARD. :D Kaida might have a friend, soon!

Alrighty, so. Basically, Nightingale has been REMOVED from the post-Storm Season one-shot roster because it really works better as a stand-along one-shot, I think, since it focuses on Sam more than Dean and Cas and all the Horror High et al stuff is very Dean and Cas centric. HOWEVER, it has been IMMEDIATELY REPLACED by ANOTHER fic, Mockingbird, which struck me this morning and DOES fit in Horror High verse quite nicely. Unrelated to Nightingale, even though they both have birds as the titles. :D;;

I'm making up my own original monster for Mockingbird, which I've never done before, I've always used SPN-verse monsters or (bastardized) monsters from folklore around the world (the jorogumo, the palraijuq), so making something up on the fly is going to be interesting. Socorros are interesting, though, they can mimic any sound or voice with near-perfect accuracy. It's how they lure in their prey. Hence "mockingbird", though they also have things in common with shrikes as well, particularly in how they feed. And of course they have a human form to blend in with society.

Anyway, yeah, so Mockingbird is a thing now and I have way more figured out for it than I do for Day Drinking, which I THINK is going to be a wraith Hunt, but then again, I've done wraith Hunts twice before already so I kind of want to do something else. Maybe ghouls? I'm still deciding.

So I finished When Lightning Strikes, Ghost In The Machine and Pinfeathers (not in that order), and now I'm working on Teeth and trying to get as much done of it as I can in the next two days before the NaNo starts and all fanfiction goes OUT THE WINDOW for an entire month. DO YOU HEAR ME, BRAIN? ALL FANFICTION GOES OUT THE FREAKING WINDOW. FOCUS ON TKA GDI. ALSO DO NOT SUDDENLY HYPERFOCUS ON FREEFALL, EVEN THOUGH I CAN TELL YOU WANT TO. BEHAVE YOURSELF FOR ONCE, OR I SWEAR TO GOD NO MORE ADHD MEDS FOR YOU. (I'm kidding pry my ADHD meds from my cold dead hands.)

.....

Tonight I have to give Kaida's tank a thorough cleaning, like take all the hides and stuff out and clean them off and vacuum out all the gunk because even cleaning every day I'm missing some, especially on and around the hides. And part of that is NOT dumping the water back into the tank after I'm done using the gravel vacuum, so last night I got a bucket of water out and sitting to dissipate all the chlorine so I can use it to top up the tank when I'm done. Hopefully I can do all this without traumatizing Kaida TOO much. Poor guy. But it really does need to be done. :/

I can't remember if I mentioned it or not, but I DID end up pulling Castiel out of the axolotl aquarium and repotting him in soil after all. He just really wasn't doing well (as opposed to Dean, who is THRIVING) and I didn't want him to die, so I just yoinked him. I also renamed him Gabriel, so whatever plant I end up getting to go in with Dean can be named Castiel and my little shipping heart will be happy. I'm thinking about getting a monstera on Thursday when my money comes in.

P.S. Sam is also doing really well in the tank, and Jack is growing like a bad weed so I'm hoping to be able to add him to the tank in a couple of months, too. ♥

When I put out my Pumpkin Parade this year (I put out 10 and I have another one to put out on Halloween night) I was half expecting some of them to get stolen by the redneck asshats who live next door to us, but so far it hasn't happened (a miracle??) and I am not complaining. I can't really put out any more pumpkins/jack-o-lanterns outside because I have nowhere to put them, but there are nine inside as well. I'm enthusiastic about my pumpkins. XD;;

Mom even got in the spirit this year, too, though, she bought a witch window decoration and a ghost for our front door wreath, which like, she NEVER decorates for Halloween so I must be catching. It's super nice to see her getting into it a little this year, though. Normally Christmas is her thing and she's just MEH about Halloween.

SPEAKING OF CATCHING. Mom and I both seem to have miraculously NOT caught Covid from our trip to Toronto/the aquarium, which is like. Yeah. Wow. I figured FOR SURE we'd both end up sick from that and I'd end up with pneumonia again at the very least. NOT COMPLAINING.

Also my jaw is hurting right now. The one that got shattered by the dentist back in the summer. It doesn't hurt much anymore, but sometimes it still aches so I guess it's still healing. Probably just the last of it, but I'm reluctant to get dentures until I know for sure my jaw has settled down, you know? If I get them and then my jaw shifts a bunch more they won't fit right and I'll be SOL because ODSP won't pay for a second pair that quickly. The dentist told me to call in early November to book an appointment with the denturist but idk. Then again, with my new diet and all the vegetables and fruit and CHEWING I'm going to have to do, I NEED the dentures, so like... idk, man, idk.

Yesterday, my Stepdad did the groceries, the same as he does every Friday. And this week he was supposed to be buying the Halloween candy to hand out to the kids on the 31st. Every year they buy a huge box of like 95 chocolate bars, I buy a huge box of 90 Maynard's candies, then we get six kids, and we end up just divvying almost all of it up between the three of us at the end of the night.

So on Thursday he was going through the flyers and he was like "oh, these ones are on sale for $12, but the ones we normally get are only on for $14" THIS MAN NICKEL AND DIMES FUCKING EVERYTHING. And Mom and I were like "uh, yes, but the $12 box is all peanut butter stuff that SENA CAN'T EAT, GET THE ONE WE NORMALLY GET" and he didn't really say anything. Then he comes back from groceries with the $12 peanut butter chocolate bars box and I was SO. FUCKING. LIVID.

HONESTLY, HOW INCONSIDERATE CAN YOU GET? LITERALLY HE DID IT JUST BECAUSE OF $2 AND BECAUSE HE DOESN'T WANT TO SHARE WITH ME THIS YEAR. HE'S A PRICK. So I was like FINE. I'M NOT SHARING MINE WITH YOU, EITHER. And he gave me a LOOK and I didn't say anything else, and it's like... no. If you're going to be like that, then I can be like that, too. Fuck you.

I did share with MOM, though, because it's not HER fault my Stepdad is a selfish asshole. >(

ANYWAY.

I did the math and so far, in completed fics, since August I have written 219,314 words which, as I said before when I was counting PAGES, is TWO freaking novels. And that's not counting all the bits and bobs I've written but not finished yet, either.

I keep doing all this math (TRY to take my freaking calculator away lol) to try to psych myself up for the NaNo next month because I'm starting to get nervous about it, and if I'm nervous then I DEFINITELY won't do well. I just need to relax and write the same as I have been. Obviously I'm capable of it, I just have to do it, even though my brain always shuts off automatically and plays dead the instant the NaNo start bell rings. =/

I just messed around on pinterest for the first time in my life and created the beginnings of a TKA board and linked it up to TKA in my NaNo profile. Something I can look back at when I need inspiration, you know? And I just realized I didn't include any SHOWERS in the board and that is UNACCEPTABLE. XD;; I'll fix that when I'm done here.

I'm 15 pages and 9,703 words into When Lightning Strikes, so I'm about halfway there with it, and I'm going to try really hard to focus on just it until I have it done and then move on to the next one in the series, Ghost In The Machine. My ADHD has been making me jump around projects a lot lately and I have to try to focus down on one at a time despite that. Definitely talking to Dr. K about increasing my Vyvanse dosage when I go in in November because trying to write TKA with my brain doing this is going to be impossible.

Yesterday I finally got the pie made for my brother's (belated) birthday, and it turned out really good! I took a picture lol. He's coming over today to do laundry and stuff, so he'll take it with him when he goes home. I really hope it tastes as good as it looks. I hope he likes it. I always worry about that with pies for some reason, even though they pretty much always turn out fine...

TWO MORE DAYS 'TIL THE AQUARIUM. OwO

Oh, and Poe's parcel was picked up a couple days ago and I emailed them asking them to please message me or something when it arrived so I knew it got there in one piece, but the tracking says it arrived yesterday and... no message. No email. They have well and truly washed their hands of me. Which is GOOD, in a way, but also... it wasn't my intention when I sent that initial email. I said we shouldn't be in CONSTANT communication, not that we shouldn't communicate AT ALL. And it's really... it's rude. For them to not even drop me an email saying "yo it arrived fine." That's all I was asking for. So I dunno, just. I dunno.