Sena's DW :: Watermelon Life

I've been on Temu again buying stuff for Christmas 2025, some Star Wars pins for Dad and THE most awesome guitar-shaped bag for Lee that I'm HOPING FINGERS CROSSED he'll be able to carry his music and stuff to and from jam sessions in. We'll see when it comes in. The pictures made it look a decent size but I am notoriously bad at judging these things from pics alone. (I have a new purse coming in that may or may not be big enough, too, it's a guessing game!)

I'm tracking Wren!doll and she's on the plane right now FINALLY even though I ordered her like six weeks ago. The shop that I ordered her from took like THREE WEEKS to ship and then when they did she sat around in customs for a good while, didn't pass customs clearance, then passed it the second go 'round and finally managed to get on the plane. I have no idea when she's going to arrive. All I know is that I ordered some plant hangers literally LAST WEEK and they just passed through Canada customs on their way to me this morning. Honestly, some stuff from AE is super slow and other stuff is super fast and there is my rhyme or reason to it.

That aside... last night I finally, FINALLY figured out how to record videos on my laptop so I can do that on Riptide instead of my phone. The problem with doing it on my phone is that then to have access to them I HAVE to upload them to YouTube and them download them from there, since Haven won't sync with Riptide and never has. -__-;; That was part of the reason I stopped keeping VLOGS. This way I can record straight to my computer, and there's no chance of anyone else seeing me ugly cry into the camera for 5-12 minutes straight, depending on the video. :|

.....

I'm working on painting a plant pot for the first time in forever and it's fun, but tedious because it's hundreds of tiny multi color polka dots. My brain can only focus on it for a few minutes at a time before it starts vibrating uncomfortably in my head so I'm doing it in little sections. The next section up is a strip of yellow polka dots and the next after that is green, which is where I started. Green, pink, orange, blue, purple and yellow. And then some rainbow stripes around the bottom. It's going to be really cute when it's done, so I'm looking forward to that. <3

I have a vague idea for another Destiel fic, the working title right now is "Principalities" but I'm sure it's going to change during the writing process. Basically it's a reversal fic where Dean is the civilian and Cas is the Hunter. Dean lives with his girlfriend (either Lisa or Carmen, I can't decide) and either works construction (if he's with Lisa) or at a garage (if he's with Carmen) and is just basically your regular guy while still being Dean. Cas is a fallen angel turned Hunter on Earth, and they meet during one of his Hunts. Cas has pretty much always been alone, since he fell, but there's a kind of instant bond that forges between him and Dean, and both of them feel it but neither of them know what to do about it so they staunchly ignore it. Meanwhile Dean is fascinated by the whole Hunting thing and keeps sneaking out at night to meet up with Cas to learn more and eventually participate in Hunts. Eventually he's meeting up with Cas for other things, too, if you get my meaning there. (Also John and Mary are still alive, and Sam is an attorney in California and he and Dean barely speak.)

Yeah, it's probably been done, but I'd like to do my take on it? Also I have more figured out for Principalities than I do for Cessation, which is basically like... accidental dimensional transport?? Zombies?? Rick Grimes?? Variants?? Gabriel (the angel) saves them?? So many question marks, even though I know it's going to be fun to write. But yeah, there's that.

I have gotten a bit written for Echoes the last couple of days, too, so, you know, little victories.

Other than some ideas for stuff my brain has been mostly static lately, though, I really need an increased dosage of my ADHD meds. It's funny how I didn't even really realize how bad I was, I always just put it down to "writer's block" or "artist's block" or "reader's block" until I started on the Vyvanse and suddenly my brain was mostly clear for possibly the first time in my life. Now it's sinking back into that hole and I am SUPER aware of it, like trying to write is like pulling teeth right now. The 30th can't come fast enough. So impatient for my Doctor's appointment, you have no idea.

Speaking of my ADHD meds, though, they never did give me my reading back, which is probably a good sign that the dosage wasn't adequate. Even after I started on the Vyvanse and could suddenly WRITE AGAIN and WORK ON ARTS AND CRAFTS AGAIN, I still couldn't focus on reading. I need to talk to Dr. K about that when I go in at the end of the month.

But READING, though; not being able to read hasn't stopped me from buying more BOOKS because I keep finding ones that I WANT to read. I just bought the whole Beechwood Harbor Ghost Mysteries series earlier this month, and Amazon isn't helping, today they recommended me the "A Court of Thorns and Roses" box set by Sarah J. Maas that sound SO GOOD. But it's a 5-book set and in hardcover it's going to cost me like $140 and hardcover is my preferred medium, so. GAH. I wrote them all down on a post-it note for Mom just in case she wants to look them up for her kindle because they sounded right up her alley too.

EDIT: MOM HAS ALREADY READ THEM. :|

I watched all of Daybreak in a couple of days and I'm kind of sad there isn't more of it because I was rather enjoying the characters and storyline in that series. But sadly, just the one season. Then yesterday I watched ALL of Before, based on Mom's recommendation and the fact that the episodes were only 20 minutes long. It was REALLY good and I would WELCOME another season, but I know it was a limited series and they ended it in a way that was pretty final, and also tied up all the loose ends, you know? Anyway, yeah, it was excellent. Kind of like a cross between Brilliant Minds and The Ghost Whisperer. 10/10 do recommend.

Now I'm watching Glitch, which comes out of Australia so I have high hopes for it. :D

P.S. Today is Mom’s Birthday! HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MOM!! <33

I spent like an hour today on the Help Chat on the Temu website because I have like nine orders in through them now, and for some reason FIVE OF THEM aren't moving AT ALL, including the one that has Mom's birthday presents in it. (Luckily one of the things I ordered for her I ordered another one of in a different order and THAT order went through fine, so I'll have SOMETHING to give her at the very least.)

Basically, a couple of my orders have preorder items in them that I was unaware of, but they're on hold until said preorder items are available. Timeline vague. The others that DON'T have preorder items in them, the guy I was talking to had to bump the case up to another level to have them looked at because?? WHY?? No clue.

Besides that, I guess I woke up at 4am this morning and couldn't get back to sleep so I puttered around on the computer and actually managed to write a little on Echoes. Honestly, I can't wait to see Dr. K and get my ADHD meds adjusted. I really want to finish up TKA and the post-SS one-shots, and start Freefall and My Zombie, but right now my brain is a bag of cats. It's frustrating.

Yesterday I finished watching Helix, and I realized 3/4 of the way through the first season that I had actually watched it before, but I really enjoyed it anyway. It's a shame they only did two seasons of it. Why do all the good shows get cancelled early on? So unfair. Helix did give me an idea for my House/Brilliant Minds crossover though, I think it might be a House/Brilliant Minds/Helix crossover now lol. I love the idea of Dr. House and Dr. Wolf having to work in the early stages of a Narvik outbreak. Also it could be fun to include the Helix CDC team.

.....

I've been thinking a lot the last couple days about a lot of things. Myself and everything that's wrong with me. The reasons I can't seem to keep friends, even close ones, even BEST friends, for very long. Or, if I DO, why long-term friendships and relationships just combust on me, seemingly out of the blue. And I know it's about me. It's a fundamental problem with me. It has to be, for it to have happened so many times in my life, I just don't know what it IS, and that's... it's frustrating, and infuriating, and makes me angry at myself. I don't know why I keep apparently sabotaging the good things in my life, or even how I do it, but it hurts like hell that it keeps happening.

I think... I spent my formative years being abused by a "trusted" adult and ostracized by the other kids, and maybe that has something to do with it. Maybe I have a hard time trusting people. Or maybe I trust people TOO MUCH. It feels more like the second one, though, because if I wasn't trusting my friends with everything I had then it wouldn't be so heartbreaking when they inevitably abandon me.

I'm pretty sure, at this point, that I should probably, for whatever is left of my short and miserable existence, stay away from the idea of close friends. Just stick with having Internet acquaintances and put my self out there in the way of fanfiction and (hopefully) books, and... that kind of thing. It's... a sad thought. It makes me lonely just thinking about it, especially when it comes to later on in my life, but. Well. It is what it is. And I can't handle the heartbreak anymore. Over and over again.

I just discovered Temu and this could be a problem. I was on it for like five minutes and ordered ten things WHY DIDN'T ANYBODY WARN ME?!

Realistically, though, I did get a couple of nice things for Mom for her birthday/Christmas next year and the coasters that I wanted for my room so I can return Mom's coaster that I've been borrowing forever. Then I also found a cute dragon planter that I don't really know what I'm going to do with in my room but whatever, and I poked the very TIP of my nose into the BJD section of the site but I pulled back really fast because that's a rabbit hole I don't want to go down right now.

The only PROBLEM with Temu seems to be that it has a minimum order, dollar value wise, before you can checkout, and the first order I put through it was $25 and the second order it jumped to $36 so?? I guess we'll see what they say when I try to order from them again in the (probably distant) future.

Speaking of orders. I DISTINCTLY REMEMBER ORDERING RUN. HIDE. DIE. LIKE A MONTH AGO OFF EBAY BUT WHEN I CHECK MY ORDERS IT'S NOT THERE?? So I checked my Amazon orders in case I was remembering the wrong site, and still nothing?? So, like?? WHAT IS GOING ON, BRAIN?? I DO NOT LIKE IT.

Also Amazon says my copy of Countdown came in yesterday. Hint: it did NOT. And this is the THIRD missing item from them in so many weeks. I don't know what's going on at Amazon but they need to get their shit together, this is getting frustrating. I hate having to call them and bitch, and they're forcing me to do it SO MUCH lately. I'm going to get a reputation as a problem customer. :(