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Affordability
Sep. 2nd, 2024 10:14 amMy meds are really kicking my ass this morning, like seriously. I've been dry heaving ever since I took them. At least it didn't start until they were out of my stomach so the pills themselves stayed down, but I feel like utter shit.
Doesn't help that I think Poe is ditching me again, and, again, didn't even bother to tell me, just did it. I feel DISPOSABLE and it sucks. I thought after last time they would at least give me a heads' up if they needed to get away from me, but no. Just radio silence. I'm being ghosted again. And it shouldn't hurt as much this time because I should have known better, but I trust to easily and too freely, even after being broken by a person in the past. You'd think I'd learn from my mistakes, but... I guess not. I'm going to try not to let this completely BREAK ME this time, though. It's all I can really do. Right now I just want to cry. I don't know what I did wrong this time.
I've decided that I'm going to pull all my VLOGs off YouTube. They were therapeutic when I made them but now I think they're too RAW and PERSONAL and I don't like them being on my YT for just anyone to see. I'm going to keep them for myself, though, and probably keep making new ones, too, but hopefully they won't be as BROKEN and HOPELESS as most of the ones that I did these past nine months.
I took pictures of a few wiggly foxes to post them on my Etsy, so I have to do that some time in the next day or two. The shipping boxes for them should arrive tomorrow (it was one-day shipping but I put the order in on Friday and it's a long weekend SO) and then I'll be set, and we'll see if they go over or not. My bet is probably not, considering how well my stuff has gone over so far, but I could be wrong. Here's hoping I'm wrong.
This afternoon Mom and I are going to Baysville to move the couch, love seat and big dresser out of the basement with my Uncle's help, since we can't do them just the two of us. There's still SO MUCH to move, and only like half of it is going to fit in the space I've got allocated. I don't know how much space Dad will manage to clear out for me, but I guarantee I've got more stuff for storing at his place than he thinks I do.
I just really wish they would get to my name on the subsidized housing list. The government keeps saying they're building more "affordable housing units" but even THAT is like $1200/month + utilities for a one bedroom apartment. I get literally $450/month toward rent. Even living HERE with Mom and Lee, I'm paying more than that, because they insisted on raising my rent a while back. But the cost of housing is ridiculous, and then they wonder why we have such a homeless problem. When even "affordable" housing is $1200 + utilities (and food, medications, etc.) a month, no wonder people end up on the streets.
I shouldn't bitch so much about living here, at least I've got a roof over my head. I'm lucky compared to some people.
I'm feeling numb right now and that's never a good sign. Today isn't going to be a good day, I can already tell. Hopefully we can get the Baysville stuff done quickly and get back home so I can marinate in my misery in peace.
Doesn't help that I think Poe is ditching me again, and, again, didn't even bother to tell me, just did it. I feel DISPOSABLE and it sucks. I thought after last time they would at least give me a heads' up if they needed to get away from me, but no. Just radio silence. I'm being ghosted again. And it shouldn't hurt as much this time because I should have known better, but I trust to easily and too freely, even after being broken by a person in the past. You'd think I'd learn from my mistakes, but... I guess not. I'm going to try not to let this completely BREAK ME this time, though. It's all I can really do. Right now I just want to cry. I don't know what I did wrong this time.
I've decided that I'm going to pull all my VLOGs off YouTube. They were therapeutic when I made them but now I think they're too RAW and PERSONAL and I don't like them being on my YT for just anyone to see. I'm going to keep them for myself, though, and probably keep making new ones, too, but hopefully they won't be as BROKEN and HOPELESS as most of the ones that I did these past nine months.
I took pictures of a few wiggly foxes to post them on my Etsy, so I have to do that some time in the next day or two. The shipping boxes for them should arrive tomorrow (it was one-day shipping but I put the order in on Friday and it's a long weekend SO) and then I'll be set, and we'll see if they go over or not. My bet is probably not, considering how well my stuff has gone over so far, but I could be wrong. Here's hoping I'm wrong.
This afternoon Mom and I are going to Baysville to move the couch, love seat and big dresser out of the basement with my Uncle's help, since we can't do them just the two of us. There's still SO MUCH to move, and only like half of it is going to fit in the space I've got allocated. I don't know how much space Dad will manage to clear out for me, but I guarantee I've got more stuff for storing at his place than he thinks I do.
I just really wish they would get to my name on the subsidized housing list. The government keeps saying they're building more "affordable housing units" but even THAT is like $1200/month + utilities for a one bedroom apartment. I get literally $450/month toward rent. Even living HERE with Mom and Lee, I'm paying more than that, because they insisted on raising my rent a while back. But the cost of housing is ridiculous, and then they wonder why we have such a homeless problem. When even "affordable" housing is $1200 + utilities (and food, medications, etc.) a month, no wonder people end up on the streets.
I shouldn't bitch so much about living here, at least I've got a roof over my head. I'm lucky compared to some people.
I'm feeling numb right now and that's never a good sign. Today isn't going to be a good day, I can already tell. Hopefully we can get the Baysville stuff done quickly and get back home so I can marinate in my misery in peace.
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