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Family Christmas Yey Or Nay?
Dec. 7th, 2024 05:36 amI keep going 'round and 'round with it in my head if I'm going to go to my extended family Christmas or not this year, and... part of me does want to go, but part of me absolutely loathes the idea.
I don't think I can handle being around my Grandma for that long without having a total breakdown. Last year was bad enough, and she's gotten significantly worse since then. My mental illness doesn't like her mental illness and being around her for HALF AN HOUR makes me cry all the way home, never mind for a whole DAY. I love my Grandma, but she's not my Grandma anymore, and it's really hard to deal with the stranger with her face now. Not to mention that she has NO FILTER anymore and will ABSOLUTELY comment on my weight, and no matter how many times I tell her it's because of a health condition she won't remember, and five minutes later she'll tell me how fat I've gotten again.
Then there's fucking Aunt Brenda and Uncle Alec and how I still (and will) feel about them screwing me with the storage shed situation. I don't know if I can be around them for an entire day without bursting into tears or snapping at them because of how unfair it was of them. They didn't even talk to me about it before hand, they just slapped a contract on the table and told me to sign it. And what was I supposed to do? If I DIDN'T sign it they would have thrown my stuff in the dump RIGHT THEN. But they KNOW my living situation and my financial situation, and they KNOW I can't afford a moving truck or the cost of a storage unit, and they still pulled this on me? We're FAMILY. You don't do that to FAMILY.
Also Uncle Len and Clare will be bringing their two huge, rambunctious dogs, and they will definitely be too much energy for me. I'm just going to want to find a corner to hide in the entire time I'm there. Just thinking about all this is making me cry already and Family Christmas is a WEEK AWAY, still.
Mom says if I don't go, they can just tell everyone I'm sick, and maybe that's for the best. I can send my exchange gift with her and spend the day curled into a bad crying to myself because my family fucking sucks and there's nothing I can do about it. Either way, though, I have to do a bunch of Christmas wrapping over the next week...
EDIT: But the thing is, I know that if I DON’T GO, Grandma will be really disappointed because she doesn’t get to see me very often, and everyone will be like “oh noooo she couldn’t make it how terrible! :<<<” and then when Mom and Lee get home and tell me about it, I’ll feel awful, so like. What do I do, here?
I don't think I can handle being around my Grandma for that long without having a total breakdown. Last year was bad enough, and she's gotten significantly worse since then. My mental illness doesn't like her mental illness and being around her for HALF AN HOUR makes me cry all the way home, never mind for a whole DAY. I love my Grandma, but she's not my Grandma anymore, and it's really hard to deal with the stranger with her face now. Not to mention that she has NO FILTER anymore and will ABSOLUTELY comment on my weight, and no matter how many times I tell her it's because of a health condition she won't remember, and five minutes later she'll tell me how fat I've gotten again.
Then there's fucking Aunt Brenda and Uncle Alec and how I still (and will) feel about them screwing me with the storage shed situation. I don't know if I can be around them for an entire day without bursting into tears or snapping at them because of how unfair it was of them. They didn't even talk to me about it before hand, they just slapped a contract on the table and told me to sign it. And what was I supposed to do? If I DIDN'T sign it they would have thrown my stuff in the dump RIGHT THEN. But they KNOW my living situation and my financial situation, and they KNOW I can't afford a moving truck or the cost of a storage unit, and they still pulled this on me? We're FAMILY. You don't do that to FAMILY.
Also Uncle Len and Clare will be bringing their two huge, rambunctious dogs, and they will definitely be too much energy for me. I'm just going to want to find a corner to hide in the entire time I'm there. Just thinking about all this is making me cry already and Family Christmas is a WEEK AWAY, still.
Mom says if I don't go, they can just tell everyone I'm sick, and maybe that's for the best. I can send my exchange gift with her and spend the day curled into a bad crying to myself because my family fucking sucks and there's nothing I can do about it. Either way, though, I have to do a bunch of Christmas wrapping over the next week...
EDIT: But the thing is, I know that if I DON’T GO, Grandma will be really disappointed because she doesn’t get to see me very often, and everyone will be like “oh noooo she couldn’t make it how terrible! :<<<” and then when Mom and Lee get home and tell me about it, I’ll feel awful, so like. What do I do, here?
