I Wanna Stay In Love With My Sorrow

I was diagnosed as bi-polar two decades ago. Seems like a whole lifetime has passed since then. Since my diagnosis, it's been adjusted to DEPRESSIVE bi-polar, meaning I have MANY more depressive days than manic days, and I also HIGHLY suspect I have some mild form of ADD or ADHD. (I need to talk to my Doctor about that next month at my next appointment because whatever is going on, ADD, ADHD, something else, it is starting to severely affect my life and my ability to be productive. =/)

Anyway.

I've been on pretty much every medication imaginable to try to control my bi-polar disorder and it's been a real roller coaster, but finally a handful of years back I was finally put on LITHIUM. My Doctor had been purposely avoiding it for years because it has so many potential (and harsh) side-effects and other drug interactions but I guess she just got desperate haha. :D;;

I... have a complicated relationship with my lithium, and it's getting more and more complicated by the day it seems.

On one hand, it does the best job of levelling me out over any of the other medications I've tried. It's been a Godsend in that way, though I still tend toward the depressive side of things so it's a rather unbalanced scale. At least it keeps me from swinging wildly between depressive and manic, right? (Even if it doesn't help whatever else is going on inside my screwed up head atm.)

On the other hand, it makes me SO. FUCKING. SICK. Like, projectile-vomiting-across-the-room SICK.

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The Tooth Fairy

I ordered this doll ( https://www.aliexpress.com/item/1005006051278123.html) a while back and she should be arriving any day now and I'm just EEEEEE I love her so much already!! I'm naming her Luna and I ordered her blank (no paint/makeup), and I am SO looking forward to painting her! She's just clearing customs now so I should get her tomorrow or the next day! >3

Out Damned Spot

I'm tinkering with the beginning of a new Valdemar fic, it's still kind of vague in my head but basically it follows a Companion named Hart, who was born with a spot on her nose, almost like a birthmark. But over time as she grows, the spot spreads and more spots appear until by the time she's full-grown she's mostly covered in brown:

 

This is because her Link to the Nodes and Heartstones is... TENUOUS at best, so she's not being bleached by their magic like a regular Companion would be. She also struggles with Mindspeech at times and other basic Companion Things like running faster than an ordinary horse. She does still have blue eyes, though, and probably a white mane and tail unlike the horse in the above pic.

So the fic, Heart, is about her Choosing Journey and the struggles it entails, and Hart's own struggle to find her place in the world, all things considered. idk just something I'm tinkering with, along with a million other projects. :|