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senashentaI just found out Grandma is dying. Her heart is giving out because it's been bad for so many years and until recently she refused to get any real treatment for it, relying on fucking MATT and his crackpot remedies. If she had just GOTTEN PROPER MEDICAL TREATMENT for her issues we wouldn't be where we are now. And her dementia is vascular and related to her heart, so all of this could have been avoided...
And I'm so DISTRAUGHT and so ANGRY and I know I shouldn't be mad at her, not when she's fucking DYING but I just can't help it, just like I can't help all the crying I've been doing since I found out. Mom told me yesterday and I literally didn't sleep all last night because I couldn't stop thinking about it and crying.
This sucks. Losing people SUCKS and I HATE IT.
.....
But life soldiers on, I guess, so today Mom and I went out for my shopping and picked up my new birth control pills and additional ADHD meds, and I'm excited to go on those. At Walmart and the Dollarama I bought way too many snacks, which I tend to do when I'm depressed. I also bought more binders for writing projects, and a couple new posters. Maybe a change in decor will help cheer me up. I had to get trout worms for the axolotls instead of regular worms, which sucks. They're more expensive and won't last as long (even if the 'lotls seem to like them better.) Petsmart was (of course) sold out of crickets, so Mom is going to try to get some while she's out with Trunks tomorrow.
A Temu parcel arrived today and among it's contents was, ironically, my depression bracelet.
This morning I edited Wayward Daughters and tomorrow I'm hoping to edit Ghost In The Machine, but who knows if that'll happen or not.
Right now I'm just watching Fringe and trying to decide if I'm going to attempt hanging a couple of plants tomorrow or not. It's such a pain in the ass but it really does need done...
And I'm so DISTRAUGHT and so ANGRY and I know I shouldn't be mad at her, not when she's fucking DYING but I just can't help it, just like I can't help all the crying I've been doing since I found out. Mom told me yesterday and I literally didn't sleep all last night because I couldn't stop thinking about it and crying.
This sucks. Losing people SUCKS and I HATE IT.
.....
But life soldiers on, I guess, so today Mom and I went out for my shopping and picked up my new birth control pills and additional ADHD meds, and I'm excited to go on those. At Walmart and the Dollarama I bought way too many snacks, which I tend to do when I'm depressed. I also bought more binders for writing projects, and a couple new posters. Maybe a change in decor will help cheer me up. I had to get trout worms for the axolotls instead of regular worms, which sucks. They're more expensive and won't last as long (even if the 'lotls seem to like them better.) Petsmart was (of course) sold out of crickets, so Mom is going to try to get some while she's out with Trunks tomorrow.
A Temu parcel arrived today and among it's contents was, ironically, my depression bracelet.
This morning I edited Wayward Daughters and tomorrow I'm hoping to edit Ghost In The Machine, but who knows if that'll happen or not.
Right now I'm just watching Fringe and trying to decide if I'm going to attempt hanging a couple of plants tomorrow or not. It's such a pain in the ass but it really does need done...
