Back To This Again

I just asked Mom to talk to my Aunt and Uncle about the whole situation with storing my belongings for the next year and then literally throwing them in the dump (AND charging me $100/load to do it.)

When we were talking about moving my things out of the basement and into the garage, and my Uncle building a shed to hold them, they NEVER mentioned to me that there would be an end date on it, my Aunt just slapped a contract on the table in front of me one day and forced me to sign it. Because the alternative was them throwing out all my stuff RIGHT THEN instead of in the future.

Anyway. I asked Mom to talk to them about it because I can't AFFORD the $2,000 it's going to cost to get a moving truck to haul all my things down here, and I ESPECIALLY can't afford the $400/month for renting a freaking storage unit. They KNOW where I stand financially, they KNOW what kind of position they're putting me in. And my Aunt won't even REPLY when I fucking email her. She never HAS. I doubt she ever will.

But they MIGHT listen to Mom, if she explains and situation and where I stand financially, but also the fact that I AM WILLING TO PAY THEM A RENTAL FEE, just not as much as I would be paying at a storage unit place. I can, if I really stretch my budget, afford $150/month. I need to tell Mom to tell them that because if they go "yeah, for the same as a storage unit" I'm FUCKED YET AGAIN.

This whole situation is just... fucked up. They shouldn't be doing this to me, Jesus Christ we're fucking FAMILY and they're just dicking me around and putting me in a position where the only possible outcome is all my fucking possessions getting thrown in the dump. And then them charging me for it on top of everything else.

Something To Be Protected

Well, I finished Comfort Food a couple of days ago (it came in at 37 pages and 17,150 words) and immediately got started on Something To Be Protected (formerly Levels Of Protection, formerly Protection, formerly Currently Untitled) and I just finished IT today and it came in at 39 pages and 18,117 words, but both of them still need to be edited so their word counts could change slightly when I do that, hopefully over the next couple of days.

But NOW I'm in a place where I have no more legit reasons to procrastinate over Hunting Souls, and I'm like... FUCK. Because I really, really don't want to work on that one for some reason, even though what I've written so far comes up to 31 pages and 13,614 words. Like. I am SO CLOSE to being finished, but it's just been SUCH a SLOUGH and I'm like... SIGH. DO NOT WANT.

I guess I could always reorganize the post-SS one-shots and move it farther down the line so I have more time to think on it before I try to finish actually WRITING IT. That's an option. Maybe I'll do that. Which is really, REALLY cheating and procrastinating to the NTH DEGREE but I could do it.

The main problem is that I don't really know where I'm going with the ENDING so I just keep writing stuff that had nothing to do with anything while I try to think of a good way to finish the fic off. Like I've already written over 13,000 words on this thing I really don't want to abandon it completely, but at the same time? I KIND OF WANT TO ABANDON IT COMPLETELY. *FACEPALM*

The next one after Hunting Souls is Endling, and then Supply And Demand, and then Echoes, and I could easily slot it in after Echoes (before Fetters) and literally I would be the only one who would know. So maybe that's what I should do, just shift it farther down the line to give myself time to think on it a little more. It's a good idea, it's just... not working for me right now. :|

Not-so-secretly I just want to write more post-HH fics but I promised myself I was done at ten. XD

Family Matters

I've never been close with my Dad's side of the family, mostly because he has no use for most of them, so we didn't visit around to his family much when we were kids. I do have vague memories of visiting his parents' farm when I was really little, but honestly, I don't remember the PEOPLE at all, I just remember the ponies and the barn cats and the dinosaur statues that we played on in their front yard (yes I said "dinosaur statues"), and a little of the birds in the cages inside. There were a lot of those.

In my adult life, mostly thanks to Facebook in recent years, I've gotten in contact with a couple of my Aunts (one of whom is BATSHIT CRAZY) and one of my cousins, but that's it. It doesn't really bother me that I'm not in contact with the rest of the clan because they've NEVER been a part of my life. You can't miss what you never had and all that.

It's different with Mom's side of the family. I've been close to all of them for my entire life. Hell, Mom, Trunks and I LIVED with Grandma and Grandpa for a while after Mom and Dad split. And even though I don't see my Aunts and Uncles much, we always get together around Christmas, though over time the gatherings have gotten smaller and smaller as less and less people are coming. It makes me sad.

Twenty years ago, when Grandpa died, I just cried once, briefly, and haven't cried over him since, but for a long time I kept having recurring dreams about Family Christmas where we were all there, about to sit down for a turkey dinner, and Grandpa was there, always wearing his red plaid shirt. He never said anything and never interacted with anyone, he was just THERE on the periphery, existing. I think it was my mind trying to wrap itself around the fact that he was gone. I still have that dream, but now very rarely.

Christmas has never really been the same since, especially once Trunks, A, K and D stopped coming, and this past Christmas Aunt Brenda hinted that Family Christmas might not be happening at all very soon in the future. Especially after Grandma passes away, which could be any day now, at this rate.

The entire family is just... pulling apart, and it SUCKS. We were all always so close, they've always kind of been my bedrock foundation, and with everyone drifting away now, I don't really know what to do. It's jarring my whole reality, my whole STATE OF BEING, if that makes sense. I'm having a really hard time with it. But then again, I don't have a history of doing well with change.

That's why the whole thing with Aunt Brenda and Uncle Alec is so difficult for me. In the past they never would have treated me so unfairly, and I hate that we've come to a point where they WILL and ARE and apparently don't think anything of it.

And I had a similar thing happen with Uncle Len and Clare a few years back. They invited me to live with them, then kicked me out three months later and gave me a month to find an apartment and move. I got that Clare was allergic to my cats, but the way they went about shoving me out the door was WRONG. I was LUCKY to be able to find a place in time.

I just... I would never consider treating a member of my family the way I've been treated recently, and I don't get how they can do it either. Have we really drifted that far apart?

I dunno, I guess we have...